help for a relative who has been scammed

Discussion in 'Is this a scam?' started by cormster1, Sep 14, 2018.

  1. cormster1

    cormster1 Frequent Poster

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    Hi all. We have recently discovered that an elderly relative has been scammed over the internet. A message from a dating website turned into the classic romance scam where he paid out a lot of money to cover plane tickets, medical expenses, then car expenses all to enable his new love move here. It developed into a gold bar investment that she could bring etc etc. Without giving too much details, his entire savings are gone. Warnings from the bank were ignored over the last year. GardaĆ­ have been involved but there is little can be done as the money has gone to another country and there is no suggestion that any of the people involved are here.

    While there is a limited amount of acceptance on his behalf that he has been duped, there is still some belief that this will all come right and that if he stays in contact with them he will be able to recover his money. Hours of discussion have not helped in that regard. This has included follow up advice from GardaĆ­ delivered as sternly as possible. He remains very vulnerable.

    He refuses to see his GP. We do have some concerns that this denial and overall behaviour may indicate some sort of cognitive decline. There has also been significant health events over the last 5 years. There is an EPOA in favour of a daughter and my understanding is to commence that process a medical certificate is required but this is not possible when he will not attend his GP voluntarily.

    He had already borrowed via cash advance on his CC to send the last payment. this we have dealt with. He is the sole owner of his home and the topic of him raising funds against this has been canvassed by these people but he has not done so -yet!!. He is convinced that some of the large cast of characters he has been chatting with are real. We have little confidence that he will be able to withstand pressure. He lives alone.

    I wonder if anyone could assist on the following points:

    Is anyone aware of any counselling or support that could be accessed that would be experienced in this area? It is at the stage he almost needs de-programming.

    If he continues to resist seeing his GP, what can be done to arrange an assessment of his competency?

    Is there any point in writing to banks/credit card providers telling them he is vulnerable and that we are putting them on notice of this in the event he seeks more funding?

    I am aware of the procedure under Wards of Court but I do not know if this situation would meet those thresholds.

    Any advice gratefully received!!
     
  2. AlbacoreA

    AlbacoreA Frequent Poster

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  3. cormster1

    cormster1 Frequent Poster

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    Thank you. We have gone through a lot of those links but trying to find real life experiences in this area is elusive. The banks have told us this kind of fraud is very much on the rise here and i am wonderkng if anyone has had any success in dealing with it and helping the victim move on
     
  4. AlbacoreA

    AlbacoreA Frequent Poster

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    From my own experience it certainly sounds like cognitive issue. The GP could do an assessment. But they won't see the GP. Maybe a public nurse?
     
  5. Gordon Gekko

    Gordon Gekko Frequent Poster

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    You need to get the GP to come and see him
     
  6. AlbacoreA

    AlbacoreA Frequent Poster

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    They might be avoiding the GP for this reason. Avoiding any kind of assessment.

    In my experience by the time you realise something is wrong it's been wrong a while and you see it in their paperwork and financial matters they'll have gotten out of hand.
     
  7. Brendan Burgess

    Brendan Burgess Founder

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    Data Protection rules will mean that they can't talk to you. But that does not mean that you can't inform them. But presumably they know all about it already and have him market as a vulnerable customer.

    You should also alert his solicitor or whoever has the deeds of the house just in case he does try to remortgage or sell the house.

    Brendan
     
  8. cormster1

    cormster1 Frequent Poster

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    We will start off I think with a visit to the GP ourselves & explain the situation and show the evidence etc -hopefully they will be able to arrange a visit which might kickstart the assessment process then. Looking back over the last year there were lots of little incidents which we just took as being odd but in hindsight perhaps they were signs of disconnect with reality.

    It is frightening how quickly the scammers were able to embed themselves and how deeply. I always thought this was the territory of the daily mail story but no, on my doorstep in rural Ireland
     
  9. cormster1

    cormster1 Frequent Poster

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    Thanks Brendan - yes the solicitor knows and his own bank but risk of opening other accounts so we may do a canvass of local branches