Headstones by the side of roads

I totally agree with Dinny and others who say that people should be allowed grieve in their way. I too lost a brother tragically and even though this happened abroad I was drawn to the place where he collapsed and died; perhaps even more so than to the place his ashes lie. Its hard to explain, but it does offer some flicker of comfort in what is a terribly painful experience.
 
jhegarty said:
I am sure they will be banned as soon as someone is killed because their car hits a slab of granate at 100kph
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Well the headstones I regularly see are regular sized or simple crosses and are no danger to anyone, so its safe to say that any ban isn't imminent.
 
MrMan said:
Well the headstones I regularly see are regular sized or simple crosses and are no danger to anyone, so its safe to say that any ban isn't imminent.
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I have seen quite a few solid granite headstone type now. I agree nothing wrong with the small wood cross type.
 
Why would anyone be more likely to crash into solid granite headstones anymore than they would solid granite walls which are everywhere nowadays? - or telegraph poles, ditches, bridges, roadsigns, fences etc etc.
 
Appreciate that people can do it if they want to, and I am sure that they have to ask for permission from some authority before they can put a headstone down.

I too have lost members of my family (not to car crashes admittedly) and would have no inclination to erect a headstone at the site of their death. Don't see why I would. Thats why I'm wondering why car crashes are any different. And the fact that a poster said that Ireland seems to be one of the only countries that does this? Personally I think that one person did it first and others thought they had to do it.
 
jaybird said:
Perhaps they are meant to be a preventative measure as well? Say if you are going down a road, maybe a little too fast, you might see the headstone and slow down a bit so the same doesn't happen to you?

I've no idea, just pondering.
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I think it is preventative whether its meant to be or not, its definitely more effective than an accident black spot sign.
 
MrMan said:
I think it is preventative whether its meant to be or not, its definitely more effective than an accident black spot sign.
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I don't think the families are erecting these for preventative reasons.

And the fact that a memorial is on the side doesn't necessarily mean that the road is particularly dangerous. Some that are close to where I live are on long, straight stretches of road or gently sweeping bends. These just tell me the person who died was either driving too fast, was a bad driver, was drunk etc. Especially those single car accidents where you can't blame a head-on.
 
Placing headstones at the side of the road is a very Irish Traveller custom also. So many young traveller children have been killed at the side of the road that it was their way of marking the spot. They would then move out of that place within 24 hours, burning anything they didn't want to take as they considered it a jinxed site. Maybe it was their way of letting other travellers know of the sadness that occurred on that spot and warn others not to stay there. There is one of these headstones quite near my parents house where a small traveller child was killed by a car in the '80's.​
 
Its very sad when anyone loses their life on the raods, especially children. However, I wonder is planning permission not required for headstones in such places ? If I was buying a house, and looking at several different houses which were fairly similar except one had a headstone outside it, I must be honest and say that everything else being equal I would not be especially attracted to the one with the headstone.
 
I'm sure if these were enormous great things then the council would and should object, but generally they tend to be small, unobtrusive objects, which in some very small way help a family to come to terms with tragedy, and hopefully go some way to prevent future road deaths.
 
truthseeker said:
The headstone does not indicate anything about the true facts, a casual observer would be led to believe that a poor child was unfortunately killed through no fault of his own.

I wonder how many of the other headstones at roadsides around the country mislead in a similiar way?
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These headstones indicate someone died there, nothing more nothing less...The 'someone' no matter how they died was someone's son or daughter, brother, sister or friend. Its a nice custom and if anything a cross or memorial like this might remind someone to slow down or take it easy....
 
many of the older headstones have noting to do with car crashes ect, but would mark the spot where a volunteer had fallen during an ambush or something,many years ago when we were still under brittish rule.
i dont have a problem with headstones at the side of the road..anything that makes us stop and say a prayer is no harm.
 
I understand the reasons for putting them up but it's getting out of hand. Some are over the top, there's one up near Woodies on the Naas Rd that is tacky, cheap and an eyesore. Further more you could be killed trying to read it, it's such a distraction.
 
p45 said:
I understand the reasons for putting them up but it's getting out of hand. Some are over the top, there's one up near Woodies on the Naas Rd that is tacky, cheap and an eyesore. Further more you could be killed trying to read it, it's such a distraction.
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true. I think the place for headstones is in cemetries. If everyone erected them everywhere someone died, there would not be much room for anything else, and I do not think the world would be a safer or prettier place.
 
I am sure the council ie the taxpayer have more than enough other things to police and worry about....it must be costly and awkward for them to police the situation , try to decide if ones are "too big" or "small enough" and where necessary remove headstones / memorials from private or public property. If I owned property, I would not like it erected on my property. Why would I think I had the right to erect one - however "small" - on property not mine ? And what of the legal implications in case someone does crash off say a bike in to it ? Or crash while thery are driving past looking at it ? Or what if the property owner decides to build a new entrance where a " memorial" has been for say 10 years... maybe the person who put the memorial there owns the ground under the memorial / has the right not to have it moved ?
 
ophelia said:
I totally agree with Dinny and others who say that people should be allowed grieve in their way. I too lost a brother tragically and even though this happened abroad I was drawn to the place where he collapsed and died; perhaps even more so than to the place his ashes lie. Its hard to explain, but it does offer some flicker of comfort in what is a terribly painful experience.
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I think this post sums up the reasons why people commemorate a loved one at the place where they died. There is a cross close to where I live where a little boy died a long time ago. Any time I walk by I pause and think of him. I notice that there are often flowers placed there at different times of year so his family or friends must visit there regularly.
 
ophelia said:
rabbit, we really shouldn't be calling these 'headstones', they are really memorials to the deceased. If they are too big then the council are not doing their job.
However, perhaps this will be the next big thing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_bike
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I doubt it - they would probably be nicked!

Apart from that, everyone deals with grief in a different way. I don't think anyone has the right to refer to another person's way of dealing with the death of a loved one 'stupid' or 'sick' or 'crazy' any other knee-jerk remark.

Some people think they (memorials) are a good idea, some don't...
 
travelling out to Bandon from Cork on Friday night for a wedding, noticed on the side of the road a sign advertising headstones for sale!!!
 
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