Gardening

E

elefantfresh

Registered User
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I went into my garden last night and I thought I heard my onions singing Bee Gees hits, but it was just the chives talking...
 
I just got back from a friends funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
 
A gardiner friend of mine died recently.
There was a big turnip at his funeral.
The priest said "Lettuce pray"

A cobbler died and the priest said his sole would be heeled.
 
One day two carrots, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.

The uninjured carrot called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured carrot was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.

After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured carrot, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."

"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life
 
I went outside this morning and a cup fell out of the sky and smashed on my head.. and then another cup smashed on the floor in front of me and another one on my shoulder. I went back inside the house and my girlfriend said "what's the weather like?"
"It's a bit muggy!" I said.
 
elefantfresh said:
i went outside this morning and a cup fell out of the sky and smashed on my head.. And then another cup smashed on the floor in front of me and another one on my shoulder. I went back inside the house and my girlfriend said "what's the weather like?"
"it's a bit muggy!" i said.
Click to expand...

:d
 
...gardening,amongst other things....

Luigi took his 10 year old son for a walk on the cliffs overlooking the village where they both lived. "Do you see the bakery down there?"Luigi asked his son. "I bake all the the bread for everyone in this village, and do they call me Luigi the baker?No, they do not." Father and son walked on for some more. Upon seeing the boats in the harbour Luigi said to his son "I get up at all hours in the morning to catch the fish in the sea to feed the village, and do they call me Luigi the fisherman?? No, they do not". They walk on some more Luigi once more turns to his son: "I tunred all the wood to make staircases for their fancy houses,and do they call me Luigi the Carpenter? No they do not....
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....but you shag just the one sheep.............................
 
Heard the one about Paddy Eng man, Paddy Scots. Man
and Paddy Irishman.

English man said wonderful medicine today - only for my
artificial heart it would be curtains for me.

Paddy Scottsman said Wonderful what medicine did for me too,
Only for my liver transplant it would be curtains for me too.

Paddy Irishman did not know what to say so he thought for a few minutes and said.
God only for the Venetial blinds it would be curtains for me too.
Browtal
 
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