domestic violence

E

elainem

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Can anyone shed any light on an investigation into domestic violence. Reported issue to police in June. Initially all anxious to investigate, to get access to mobile phone records etc. and then now say they can't do anything.

Issue concerns ex partner who was making constant threats that he could not guarantee the safety of our children while on holiday last summer. Also, he has previously made an attempt on my life, which I did not report at time, as I was too scared and had just had a baby. There were also suspicions around the death of his first wife in U.K., which his step children were willing to corroborate. He sort of admitted this to me last year, but laughed and said I would not be able to prove it.

I told all this to Gardai. Initially really keen to investigate. They interviewed my friend re. the constant bullying I have experienced and the fears for my safety. They also said they sent file to U.K. about what ex had said to me in relation to his first wife. Then they told me the coroner in the particular area in U.K. was going to see whether she could reopen the case. Hadn't heard anything in ages so rang Coroner in this particular area of U.K. and she hadn't a clue what I was talking about, so obviously gardai had not contacted her. What is going on? I know there are some legal eagles on this board - would appreciate any advice on this. My ex (we were not married) has intimated that he has friends in the Gardai. Is it possible that this kind of influence still prevails given all the corruptions scandals?

I would really appreciate some advice, as I'm on my own with two small children, and living with constant threats and bullying, e.g. threats to get custody of the children, to take me back to court if I work (I have primary care), and to take children out of country and not return them.
 
Sorry to hear of your plight. The support services [broken link removed] might be able to offer some guidance to you.
 
One specific thing - keep a log of all relevant events (e.g. phone calls - threatening or otherwise, confrontations etc.) as it can come in useful.
 
Hi Elaine,

Has he gone to court with you yet over the children? I suspect no. It's you he wants to hurt. No more contact with him is an absolute must. Find an intermediary - a female friend, his sister, his mother, your sister.... if all that is not possible use your solicitor. Mark down every call (tape them), and lie low. You'll find he can't follow up his threats the more personal people to u and him are involved. If you need help beyond that, message me privately and I will talk to you
 
Hi! Pantheon, thanks for your reply. Unfortunately, he has gone to court over the children. I was afraid to bring up the domestic violence issue in court as my solicitor said that they the courts now view every allegation by a mother with suspicion, and as a way of barring the father's access. There was never a problem with the access on my part. However, my ex told me that he was bringing me to court to get me. I insisited he leave the house - which was my home. We were not married but he still tried to make a claim to it, though there was no mortgage. His solicitor told him to give me back E26,000 which I lent him (money I got when my mother died), as it would not look good in court. He did this very reluctantly, but was really angry about it. He is a dreadful gambler - internet gambling - and often left us with very little money - told the judge about this but that didn't seem to matter either. I would have left the domestic violence issue but in the summer when he was taking the children on holidays he told me he could not guarantee their safety and was taking them out on a boat. I was absolutely terrified. This brought the domestic violence issues back and the fear I lived through, I felt he was going to do something to the children, but my solicitor said if I went back to court the judge would think I was trying to stop access. Currently, the police and coroner in England are looking into the circumstances of the death of his first wife in 2000. If you have any more advice I would really appreciate it.
 
Sounds like you are dealing with a looney here, and also by the sound of things the solicitor isn't much use either. What ages are the children? If you suspect for one minute that the children are in danger then you shouldn't let him take them off. If he is making threats, report them to the Guards and insist that they do something about it. If there is a danger to the welfare of the children then report it to the child protection in your area. If all else fails then go to the women's refuge and dont divulge your address to anyone. If he is telling you that he cannot guarantee the safety of the children then he is not fit to be looking after them, is he?
 
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