Do you know your neighburs?

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micmclo

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Reading another post and it has me wondering, how many of us even know our neighbours?

I'm sure it's different in estates to rural areas. Certainly where I grew up I knew every house and family for miles around.

I'm renting a flat in a city now about three years, I know two of my neighbours to say nod the head and say hello to. Don't know their names though.
I couldn't tell you if they own the flats or rent.

I dislike the couple upstairs for various reasons and I don't know their names.

I have nobody's mobile number in an emergency.

Though once a courier arrived with a package when I was in work and the people downstairs minded it for me. That was nice of them

Am a I terrible neighbour? I think this would be typical in flat complexes or estates
Do you know everyone in your area?
 
I live in an apartment block, there are no internal areas, all front doors face out on the street so in theory I should know most of my neighbours as I see them going in and out.

In practice, I know one neighbour well - but I went to school with him so its not that I know him from being a neighbour. I know the people directly above me and to one side of me enough to have a conversation in passing, but Id only know the surnames because of the postman accidently posting something in for them occasionally. I know a couple of other faces to see and nod to - but thats it.

I know some people from other apartment blocks for various reasons - for example I tend to know people who own dogs because I usually stop to pet the dog and have gotten to know them that way. Or on odd occasions I have helped or been helped by someone, during the snow, changing a tyre, calling in to tell them their car lights are on or something.

There are some neighbours that I probably wouldnt even recognise if they walked up to me, a lot of people like to keep themselves to themselves and dont look up to nod or anything like that.

I have around 3 mobile numbers of neighbours, mostly just a remnant of something that required a number at the time - I wouldnt be in phone contact with them but I could ring if I needed to for some reason I suppose.

When I was a child I lived in an estate and knew every single neighbour on the road, but that was more to do with being a child and hanging around the road with the other children, I knew who they were, as in Id recognise every one of them but I dont remember my parents particularly hanging round with them, maybe some of the mothers and my own mother had the odd coffee or chat at the gate but it didnt go further - it wasnt friendship.

Im pretty friendly and tend to be a person who nods or says hello if I see the same person more than once, but apartment living doesnt really lend itself to more than just passing by in motion, its not like anyone is out doing their garden, washing their car or otherwise hanging around outside, when you walk out the front door you are going somewhere, not hanging around.
 
I've one neighbour whose never there, lives mostly with his GF. The woman on the other side is a me feiner, nice enough, but would have you running around after her with little jobs if I let her away with it. I know some others on the street and they're nice, but we don't do coffee! I like being friendly,but up to a point. Often wondered if it's a "Dublin" thing, not being overly close to neighbours, or keeping a distance?
 
I live in one of the older established areas of Dublin though I'm not a Dubliner. I know most of my neighbours and would be able to call on them if I needed something, & they would call on me. During the bad weather there was very definitely a great sense of community spirit which was nice to see.
 
I dont know my neighbours and I dont want to know them. I didnt buy my house to expand my social life. Its not the London Blitz. If some saddo wants to be going around looking after his neighbours property so be it but count me out. If you ley those crowd pass your doorstep you won't have a minutes rest
 
Thank God some of you ain't my neighbours. Seriously, though, a good neighbour is invaluable, but to have one you must be one. No Offence.
 
Many people have made efforts with neighbours only to find that they weren't interested in doing the same. I watched as a neighbour a few doors up had a gardener doing work in his garden. He generally always gets his hedges around the periphery of his garden trimmed, including those of his neighbours that overgrow in to his property. On this occasion he didn't bother to include his neighbour's hedges on one side. I can understand why, because his neighbour never bothers to make any effort to trim back their own hedges that overgrow in to other peoples gardens. I happen to live on the other side of this person and I also have been cutting back hedges that I shouldn't have to. I have also made the decision to stop cutting back this persons hedges independently.

There are other things that these neighbours do that cause annoyance to their neighbours. It is not that they are bad people it is just that they are completly unaware of other people.

We have almost completly distanced ourselves from these people which is sad but if they don't make the effort well why should we. I am not sure if they will even notice though.


It is funny though to pass by someone who has lived on the same street as you for years, to give them a nod and they look at you as if they have never seen you before.
 
I live in an apartment block containing 5 units. I know all the inhabitants bar one to have a quick friendly chat with if I meet them on the stairs. I have the mobile numbers of two of them (although have mislaid one) given in case of an emergency. However, I have never been in any of their apartments and they have never been in mine. I don't know anyone else on the road as I don't have kids, am out at work all day and it's a newish estate so lots of rented houses, people just passing through on their way up the property ladder etc.
When I stay back down in my parents' house for the odd night I'm always struck by how much contact there is between the neighbours (offering each other lifts, dropping in meals if someone's sick, leaving in cards for kids' birthdays or Leaving Certs and so on.) I would love to live on a road like that again, but unfortunately moving is out of the question at the moment.
 
I'm almost 7 years living in my current home, and I couldn't say I know my neighbours - I'd probably recognise their cars faster than I'd recognise the people!

Was 7 years at my previous address too, and knew as many people on the day I left as I did on the day I moved in.....maybe it's me! ;)
 
liaconn said:
I would love to live on a road like that again, but unfortunately moving is out of the question at the moment.
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So would I - I grew up on a street where we knew everyone and it was reassuring that people kept an eye out for each other. Last year before our wedding, we received many cards and gifts from those neighbours, even though I left home almost 20 years ago.

We moved to our current address in September last year and don't know a soul here. I remember though being particularly amused over the summer to receive a note from the Residents Association in the letterbox asking for donations to get the grass in communal areas cut, but it had no contact details!
 
Growing up I knew all my neighbours even the registrations of their cars. I also knew who had the best apples in their back gardens, and enjoyed many of them. As a result they all knew me.
When we bought our existing house we all got to know each other as we were all in the same boat complaining about the builder. We all had something in common. Now most people have gone their own way and nobody really speaks to each other any more except maybe for those who have young children attending the local school. I don't know if we would have much in common with each other as we are all at different stages of our lives.
 
Reading the posts on this subject has left me flummoxed on how Irish Living has declined. There are those who do not want any contact with anybody to those who want others to contact them and not the other way round. Then there are those who make contact.

During the Big Freeze last winter I organised an outside barbeque evening on our road. It was a great success, people came in coats, duffel coats, eskimo gear etc. There were all kinds, Eastern Europeans, Irish-Africans, an American, a Spaniard, some Irish. We had a great evening and a great laugh. Those whose pipes had froze suddenly had a supply of water from their neighbour whose pipes were not frozen. People suddenly had contact and we learned that those from outside Ireland are just the same as us. They learned the same. I am glad to say the contact is still there. Kids were brilliant, they have little inhibitions and break ice much better than us adults.

All it took was one leprous Paddy who went out on the frozen road and lit a barbeque, threw on some sausages, rashers, black puddings, burgers, onions, spuds, soup and everything I could get my hands on. Others arrived with beer, soft drinks, more food and above all, smiles, friendship, comradeship and handshakes. One even brought a guitar. People need contact and if we had more perhaps life would be better all round?
 
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Leper said:
During the Big Freeze last winter I organised an outside barbeque evening on our road.
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You sound like a fun neighbour. If I did that I think most of my neighbours would walk past thinking there was something wrong with me!
 
Our street has an annual Xmas night out which is a great way of keeping in touch with the (especially elderly) neighbours. It's in the rugby club next to us and is usually about 15 euro a head. There's a gas oul lad who plays tunes on an organ and there's finger food provided too along with a roaring fire. We call it the "Meet the Fockers" night!
 
I live on a back road in a rural area. We know our neighbours on each side, will stop for a chat, wave when passing and keep an eye on each others houses but we don't socialise. I'll call the farmer if I see one of his cows on the road, he'll cut my hedges when he does his own with his big machine. Everyone seems to like this even the one half a mile up the road who told my plumber that we seem like a nice family even though we don't go to mass!
 
I moved into a smallish estate last December in the middle of the bad weather. I put a Christmas card through everyones door introducing myself, giving mobile number etc. if they needed anything. It broke the ice with a few of them.

As I have gotten to know them better, we often call into each other's houses for a coffee or glass of wine. Occassionally we will go out for a few drinks. I have a couple of the neighbours keys, and vice versa, so if they are away on holiday I will call in, feed pets, open/close curtains etc. put milk in the fridge, and vice versa. Also the kids are great, and I will often take the kids for walks with me and the dog, get them washing my car (not child labout I hasten to add :D).

In a couple of weeks I am having a Christams get together for everyone. 30 invites in neighbours houses to come round for wine, nibbles, music etc. About half have confirmed so far, with most getting baby sitters for the kids so we can have an adults night of it.

Although I am the only one in the area with no partner or kids, I haven't felt excluded at all, and I think it is importnat to know the neighbours. Even from a security sense, as a few of us work form home and can keep track of any strangers walking around (although it rarely happens). I was worried when i moved in that it would be very lonely living here on my own, and that I wouldn't know the neighbours etc. but I guess I am very lucky to have found a great area.
 
Bubbly Scot said:
even though we don't go to mass!
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Ha, some elderly rural people can be funnny like that with their judgements

My mother moved to the parish decades ago when she got married and some locals still refer to her as being from Offaly.

You could live in some places for decades and decades and still be called a blow-in :D

You nearly have to own family land in the area going back to the famine to be considered a local!
 
Moved into a new estate 4 years ago, neighbours on all sides are elderly and even though we're not and have 2 smallies, we've gotten to know them at a friendly superficial level, I've rarely been in their houses and vice versa. We're friendly with each other and keep an eye on each other and that suits me fine. There are a couple of rented houses in the streets and I've no idea who lives in them, and I remember when I was renting, I had no idea who my meighbours were either. I am a blow in though and my annual (well, almost annual) flying of the Cork flag for All-irelands does get commented on. Where I grew up in Cork, there are a number of families who came from kerry back in the 20s when the land commision was breaking up the estates. Even now, if their grand kids and great grand kids are playing in a match for the parish, you could still here comments like, "sure what would you expect, they know nothing about hurling in Kerry" or worse.
 
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