Dating Websites - Do people really meet their match on them?

Just putting the question out to get opinions.

My friend who has just broken up after 13 years wants to join one and see how she gets on.
It brought back memories of myself and a work colleague joining one many years ago at the same time to see how we got on.

I had a very humiliating experience which I can laugh about now but at the time was not very funny.

Has anyone any success stories? Or even any horror stories?

There seems to be so many of them.

Hi I think its really changed now, two of my friends recently bit the bullet to give it ago, they were both sick of the drunken nights out in town and meeting Mr Right wasn't working that way!
So they firstly signed up to do speed dating, 1 actually met someone on that site before the event and they've been on around 8 dates now its going really well. Neither one enjoyed the speed dating felt it got boring after the first few guys but it was a good way to test the water.
My other friend is on match.com ireland and had 3 dates, she really liked the first guy and is arranging a third date with him. So it seems to have gone well so far for these two. Hope that helps some,

Thats great tho!

Myself and 7 mates tried the speed dating last year in the Summer. Our table was like the night of the living dead! One guy asked me why I had got so dressed up so that will tell you.
It was a disaster, we all left at the interval.

I have never heard of anyone trying it through the websites and it working out.

and as per my OP I had such an embarassing experience on MaybeFriends.com years ago that I promised I'd never put myself through it again.

I suppose if you trawl them you're bound to meet some nice people. Just not going to chance it tho

it took me a year to talk my friend into giving it a go, she's now encouraging everyone to try it. I still think some people have a stigma attached but sure your friend has nothing to loose and it could be a good way of just going on dates.
She's been really surprised by the amount of guys saying the same thing she is "she's sick of meeting drunk people in pubs". All of the guys have been professionals and polite, now she has had a few old lads chancing their arm and sending her a wink or that but that happens on a night out. This is the site she's using http://match.ie.msn.com/channel/index.aspx?cpe=1

Fortunately, I'm happily married but should I ever be on the "dating scene" again I'd have no qualms about using these kinds of sites.

There does seem to be a stigma - people seem to think that those who subscribe are either perverts or social 'weirdos', but for me these sites would provide a practical, timesaving and more hassle free alternative to otherwise finding a partner - e.g. fine going out to clubs/pubs etc and stumbling into a 'relationship' when you're in your early 20s, but for me in my late 30s, the thought fills me with dread.

However, I've yet to hear many success stories associated with dating websites - but maybe that's because of the stigma.

What my friend has said is that she thinks people will feel she's desperate which she's not but that said its not possible to meet people in bars/clubs, unless its the 3a.m.er's as we call them that decide to come over at 3am when its time to go home.

I would be just concerned about the safety of meeting strangers but I suppose common sense would prevail and you would let people know where you are going, and go somewhere busy with people etc etc

I've not heard of many success stories myself hence why I'm asking. I'm sure there are plenty, or even people who have gone on a few dates and enjoyed it while it lasted.

I'll encourage her to go for it and time will tell

Ive a success story! Well a partial success story. I met and successfully dated a guy I met on maybefriends. We didnt stay together but it was nothing to do with how we had met, we would have broken up for the same reasons had we met in a pub or through friends - just werent fully compatible.

I wasnt even aware there was a stigma attached!!! I dont think meeting someone online is any different to meeting them elsewhere. People say that meeting online leaves you open to all sorts of liars and charlatans, but the bottom line is that you dont know if anything the bloke you met at the bar on saturday night is telling you the truth!! Plus with the online dating you aproach the first date with caution and arrange to text a friend, let people know where you are etc...so it might even be safer than the first date with a guy who you only remember from a drunken connection in a pub.

I like that online dating lets you find out if you have enough in common to bother meeting up. At the same time it can be pretty ruthless, I have friends who were exchanging emails and getting along well then when it came to photo exchange they never heard from the guy again!! Some of them took it badly, personally I would shrug and say 'ah well, perhaps he prefers blondes' or something similiar.

If I were single Id definitely use a dating website again - its actually great fun and even if you only have a couple of casual dates its worth it for a laugh.

Its great that you had a match out of it, even if it didn't work out its nice to just meet up with someone a few times and get a few dates.

I suppose the reason why I'm asking is that I too was on MaybeFriends years ago and got talking to a guy that I arranged to meet outside a pub on Baggot street.
He said he was over 6ft tall and had a London accent and he was living here.

I stood outside the bar for half an hour and no sign, called him and texted him and no reply.
then a guy walked out of the pub talking on a mobile phone and looking around and he had a London accent and I thought great, that must be him, I must have got the arrangments wrong and was supposed to meet him outside so I walked up to him and said Hi Jason, I'm (my name) and he said Hi, I'm Simon...are you on a blind date?

Talk about mortified, he went back into the pub and told all his mates and next thing I had 4 guys coming out of the pub to slag me all over Baggot St. They were not being nasty or anything, they just thought it was so funny and wanted me to go for drinks with them.

Needless to say I just went home but I was sooo embarrassed and felt a little foolish if I'm honest.
the guy txted me later that night and apologised profusely and said he got cold feet and just couldn't get up the nerve to turn up...I had been mailing him back and forth for about 3 weeks, I just couldn't believe it.

So thats my story and why I have and probably won't try it again...its funny now and people laugh when I tell the story but at the time I was not amused

you poor thing!!!! I can imagine you were mortified alright!!

I wouldnt let one bad experience put me off, sure Ive had loads of non online dating bad experiences and I didnt let that put me off!!!

My online dater was actually very nice because I was acting as though he might be an axe murderer so when we arranged to meet I had a friend drop me to the venue (hotel bar), he was waiting in a pre-arranged conspicuous place, he didnt mind at all that I wanted to text my friend at arranged times (11pm etc..) nor did he mind after the date when he offered to drive me home that I texted his reg plate to my friend - well you cant be too careful can you

I think the key to a successful first date with an online dater is to discuss expectations before you go on the date. My one was aware that I would go to a hotel bar, only a few drinks, and home by 1am. I was prepared to relax the 'rules' after a second date and not have a going home time arranged etc... but I felt it was 'safer' to have a finish time and also if it didnt go well it means you get to escape

We also texted each other on the way to the date, so I knew he was leaving around the same time as me etc...

Ive some friends with good online dating experiences also. One long term relationship. I only had one friend with a bad experience, but even that bad experience was more due to the fact that the guy looked absolutely nothing like his pic and made no conversation so it was awkward. But that could have been the same if theyd met anywhere.

I know it was pretty awful, what a wuss he was getting cold feet.

I know what you're saying about meeting people in pubs and its the same thing, I suppose it is when you look at it like that.

I did hear of a colleague of my sister who swapped photos with a guy on a website and when she turned up to meet him he was completely different and when he questioned him he admitted that he had got his hands on airbrushing software and airbrushed himself, shortened his nose and fixed his teeth kind of thing. She basiclly told him that it was very dishonest and not a good start I did laugh at that one.

There are pitfalls in any dating scenario. Online dating is just another way of meeting people but people are people no matter how you meet them. Im sure the same number of bad experiences exist through people meeting in pubs/clubs, through friends, at work, through a hobby/sport etc...
If you ask around your married/long term relationship friends you'll probably find that a lot of people met through other friends or work. Im not sure how many people really hook up for the long term from a random meeting in a pub or nightclub - at least thats what I see among my own circle of friends - the initial contact is predominantly through mutual friends or work.

I have heard that said over the years but its never happened for me. I have asked various friends to fix me up but a few have been quite blunt and said no, because if we do fix you up with a mutual friend and it doesn't work out then it can affect friendships, one friend has lots of mates that he goes out with but he said he wouldn't fix me up with them because they're all single for a reason.

- my sister is engaged to a guy that she met in copperface jacks 9 years ago.
- I did bridesmaid for my best friend last year, the year of the foot and mouth when paddys day was cancelled we headed to kilkenny and she met her hubby in langtons.
- Another friend of mine got sick on her partner the first time she met him at a 50th party, he asked her out and they're still together 3 years on (won't be trying that)
- and recently my other mate met a guy in a pub the night before xmas eve while I was there and they're dating, getting on great.

Just depends, theres no hard and fast rules I suppose.

My younger sister did set me up with a guy she worked with which I went along with because I know she wouldn't set me up with someone dodgy. We got on fine but he wasn't my type, during the date whilst sitting in a hot pub watching a band play I went to plump up my flattening hair and a few of my extensions came out in my hand. He did see but was very polite and never said anything, I shoved them in my bag and never seen him again. Surprise surprise!

the search continues

you should write a book - youve great dating stories!!

you know youre dead right - I was thinking of my own friends again and some did meet in pubs. I met my match through work initially but re-met in a nightclub after not seeing each other for years.

I do have male friends who would love a girlfriend too - I dunno, it seems difficult to get the people who are looking all together in one place!!

ci1
I could get together to co-write the dodgy dates from hell book with you. I have heaps of horror stories of meeting the wrong guys and almost all of them through 'normal' means.

When I bought my house (ages ago), I didn't have a bean and stopped going out so much and ended up turning to the internet dating thing to meet guys. I met a good few; one or two I ended up going out with for a few months and had a great time. To be honest, I met far more interesting guys online than I did in my local small country town. I really found it great because sides of yours/their personality that usually stay undisclosed for a while are up for discussion from the off-set with internet dating, so for example I ended up getting in touch with guys with mutual taste in films/books etc that were a bit off-beat instead of the alternative of by pure fluke finding someone with similar taste in a bar. It's obviously open to abuse by chancers and worse but they are in pubs too and you have to be sensible in taking precautions about where you meet etc but I really think it's at least as safe (if not safer) than picking up someone when you're not 100% sober.

I'm in a long-term relationship now and MrRibena was found on a high stool on a mad night out, so not from the internet but give me net-dating any day over the other mullarky.

Good luck with it

truthseeker said:

you should write a book - youve great dating stories!!

you know youre dead right - I was thinking of my own friends again and some did meet in pubs. I met my match through work initially but re-met in a nightclub after not seeing each other for years.

I do have male friends who would love a girlfriend too - I dunno, it seems difficult to get the people who are looking all together in one place!!

Click to expand...

we should open a dating disaster thread
ah they're have been a few good ones, the bad ones just seem to stick out in my memory, like the guy who sloshed half of his pint into my glass and went and got himself a fresh one so he didn't have to buy me another one I kid you not! A little later I got my jacket and bag and told him I was going to use the ladies and ran out the door.

I like MissRibena have just bought somewhere and not getting out as much as I'd like to and when I do its just to meet the girls for drinks and a catch up, not neccessarily to hunt guys because a lot of my friends are attached/married anyway.

I just might try the online dating thing again some day, when I pluck up the courage

If we open a dating disaster thread and I post my worst/funniest dating story my anonymity will be completely blown because anyone who knows me will recognise it

ci1 go for it honestly what have you to lose, another one of my friends has signed up and has a date for friday and another guy has asked her for a date. give it a whirl!

My friend registered today so I'll see how she gets on and then I might give it a go!!

only thing that puts me off is putting a picture up!

but I had a look on the MSN that you sent pc7 and it seems quite good...

will keep you posted!

truthseeker said:

If we open a dating disaster thread and I post my worst/funniest dating story my anonymity will be completely blown because anyone who knows me will recognise it

Click to expand...

... truthseeker, you can't just leave that hanging there like that... go on share it .....

lets just say - to the guy whose handbrake I sat on and disengaged while smooching at the local lovers lane resulting in us starting to roll down a mountain, followed by me jumping off the handbrake and smacking my head off the rearview mirror which then fell off the windscreen and broke, and then while being driven home accidently dropped a lit cigarette into the side pocket of the drivers door causing a map and some work dockets to go on fire, causing an emergency stop on the M50 with a lot of flapping, and flames - im sorry, but why did you ask for a second date????????