Moneymakeover Cost of kid(s) at various ages

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happycamper

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We have a son(5) and know very well the costs now but thinking further down the line - secondary school and after. How much does a single offspring cost in general terms per month/P.A. I'm thinking of taking early retirement soon at 55years and my OH is not working outside the home.

Thats 11+ years bridge to State Pension so trying to gauge all our costs as detailed as we can.

How much should I budget for the years ahead?

He does all the extra curricular activities at present, GAA, Swimming, Tennis etc and waiting on him to settle on something so think we are paying over the odds at the moment for this till we find his 'thing'. Living in Dublin and would eventually expect living at home and commuting to college for us.

Any ideas from those further down the road from us... BTW we only have one and will only ever have one kid.
 
If there is no childcare, primary school is the cheapest time. I have one teenager and one young adult. My estimate cost is 500 a month for the youngest and 700 for the eldest for the things that concern them and only them (school, activities, health, clothing...). That doesn't take into account of food or when we bring them somewhere (ie when they come with us on holidays, restaurant...). So 1k in all seems about right. That is also on the lower side of things. A couple of years ago I paid 8k for orthodontic treatment for both of them. When the eldest started university, we decided that a car was necessary so the initial investment was about 10k with insurance. In all, we are lucky that they are reasonable and are not expecting branded things or gadgets. That could increase the budget quite a bit.
 
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happycamper said:
How much should I budget for the years ahead?
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Work out what your household budget is right now.

Moneymakeover - Household Budgeting Comparisons?

Not sure if the correct place... Life has been in (financial) flux for the last 4 years (house purchased, wedding, new baby, mat leave) but 2025 has brought some stability so I have had a look at our income and expenses. I track both pretty well. We both have decent incomes, don't live...
www.askaboutmoney.com
Then adjust that for potential changes and additional costs going forward into future years.
 
As mentioned a piece of string but a few key items you can budget for.
Some optional things you can figure out now as to whether you envisage paying them.

School fees. Fee paying can be about €5k. We didn’t envisage that but unfortunately the non fee options didn’t pan out. But that did cover all the extras like music, swimming sports.
Health insurance to age 23 or thereabouts, uni courses might well be 6 years

Uni fees will be ho knows what in 13 years, but of course you might qualify for grants.

Your current childcare is not really free as it’s the loss of one salary. Probably the most expensive!

I’d agree that 10k Pa from birth to graduation. One of ours needed expensive dental work, the other didn’t. One didn’t have school fees but had expensive music equipment needs, part of his degree course.

Sis has had to pay for tutors for a kid with dyslexia, they hadn’t budgeted for that. That wasn’t cheap.

There are a lot of unknowns.
 
With a 5 year old you can literally feed and entertain them at home and 100% clothe them in hand-me-downs and you can do this for a few more years.

There’s a step change in expenses around 12. They eat more. They want branded clothing. They want new things. They will socialise without you. Girls often get into cosmetics. It’s very hard to opt your kids out of these things even if you want to or can’t afford them. Kids also get hyper-conscious of their friends’ resources compared to their own.

I have a very old friend (of 35 years and counting) who felt really left out socially as a teenager as his parents had both a low income and were over-frugal. I saw it very clearly at the time. So in your shoes I wouldn’t race into early retirement.
 
happycamper said:
He does all the extra curricular activities at present, GAA, Swimming, Tennis etc and waiting on him to settle on something so think we are paying over the odds at the moment for this till we find his 'thing'.
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Many many kids have many many things… sports, music, drama, martial arts, swimming… most kids I know do at leat 4 or 5 things.

Some things are cheaper… GAA clubs seem to be affordable. But you’ll presumably want him to do music and swimming as well. So that’s at least 3.

So you probably aren’t paying over the odds. Not sure why you think that.
 
Annieindublin said:
Many many kids have many many things… sports, music, drama, martial arts,
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Very true. Important to keep value in the equation. I've bought really good quality second hand tennis rackets, hurling helmets, football boots. All with little wear for between a €5 & €20 max on adverts.ie
I've seen neighbours spending a lot of money on these items, one dropped several hundred on a racket, the kid lost interest shortly thereafter.
 
lol… music instruments hold their value… I buy second hand… grandparents are great for new footie boots etc.

Unfortunately we missed out on the communion and confirmation money boosts. D nieces and d nephews used that to upgrade their kit. We are atheists so didn’t even have bar mitzvah like the other side of the family.


The speed of dropping is directly proportional to the cost of the kit
 
The more you invest in your kid in terms of activities the more it will pay you back in later years. I was told this a good while back and it paid dividends. Dont look at them as things to be tried until they "settle on something".
You want to retire but maybe you over estimate the amount of free time that will give you. You presumably like the camping lifestyle but that will need to take a back foot if kid has training or other activities at weekends. It did for me and was a wake up call that came as a surprise.
So a bit early to retire I would say, keep the income flowing as long as you can. Have another look in 5 years time.
Like myself you had a decent kid free period in life when younger.
 
Life can throw you a lot of curveballs with children and I like to say they are an expensive hobby.
Even if he settles on a couple of after school activities the costs will probably deepen for each one, more training, more kit, instruments, etc. So I doubt that figure will go down. It would be great if you have time to get involved with the club/sport/skill too so there may be travel to matches and competitions, events that the whole family will find fulfilling (but adds costs)
Education may prove complex with added needs of interventions, reports, private school, grinds, school trips, other school club activities, etc.
Health may be another area of added expense, dental work, ill health, poor mental health, anything weird or wonderful may happen which may add costs as a parent. Sometimes having health insurance to avail of the quick clinics for falls, breaks, fractures etc is invaluable in time alone for an accident prone kid.
I always found the annual birthday party massive fun but expensive, and I was a bouncy castle in the back garden with home made cakes type of birthday person.
And with an only child you will probably encourage a lot of socialisation with other kids so you may end up being that family with other kids tagging along a lot. Again massive fun but adds to the expenses.

I would see nothing wrong with the estimate of €10K pa.
 
I would scenario plan, which is what you are probably doing. Eg if we need school fees I can retire at x age as I will have funded these by then, I would say always count on orthodontics, then factor in a couple of big family holidays if that's your thing - eg florida parks, Australia etc. Look at cost of setting your child up to drive, all in it's a chunky number. Its hard to imagine at 5 but advice we got was expect the same level of costs as creche fees the whole way through. And it has turned out to be correct and we are not splashing the cash by any means. Your partner not working is great at preschool age but could they also explore working now to boost the budget? Obviously school is not childcare but there are after school and school holiday options that could work.
 
Someone said to me recently that the most important word when raising a child is "no".

Our small person is younger than yours but we can already easily see the expensive consequences of not saying no (branded lunchboxes , bags etc).

Then there's planning ahead- the single parent of another child in their class can't work full time because they didn't sort out childcare early. That's a difference of €20k a year easily just because of that.

We've a child investment account for them which will be accessible around the time they finish school, which is also around the time I aim to retire. So I don't need to worry about that time really.
happycamper said:
my OH is not working outside the home.
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That's the biggest expense by far for you I'd say, probably €30k plus a year.
 
Apart from the money it may create a slagging opportunity for child when asked what parent works at. And working will also keep you younger in their eyes.
 
Also a few years off work will almost certainly impact the pension of that parent.

maybe not the state contributory pension if they claim homemakers etc (up to age 12) but of course without an occupation theres no occupational pension.
 
There’s a step change in expenses around 12... They want branded clothing. They want new things. They will socialise without you. Girls often get into cosmetics. It’s very hard to opt your kids out of these things even if you want to or can’t afford them. Kids also get hyper-conscious of their friends’ resources compared to their own.
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Honest question - are summer/holiday jobs for teenagers a thing of the past now, or are they something the OP can reasonably factor into their analysis? I fear they may be a thing of the past given the commoditisation of these jobs.

I think what we're saying is that upon reaching teenage years the child wants "discretionaries" but has not yet had the opportunity to learn "to consume discretionaries one must produce", etc. and therefore has no real way to regulate their demands. It seems we are doing them a disservice through ten years (age 12-22) teaching them "to consume discretionaries one must exert pressure on someone else to produce" and then foisting them out into a cut throat workforce.
 
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Jobs for young teens are few and far between. Aside from lawn mowing for neighbours. And babysitting.
As they get older there may be opportunities depending on where you live,

Mine worked occasionally but shops are difficult as they can’t sell booze and every cenrta is also an offie. Local petrol stations even sell booze now.
Fast food places and independent shops were our go-to. Also Mac Jobs, but that can be hard enough to find, lots of students who are over 18 and can work late shifts are available as we are near a few universities.

Both mine learned barrista skills and had jobs slinging coffees. And worked as KP in a local restaurant. But a 16 year old lad walking home after a late shift is a target, even a rugby playing well built one and he got mugged leaving one night. So we had to collect him.

So yes they are possible and can be found but not always as straightforward as you might think.
 
blackdog said:
are summer/holiday jobs for teenagers a thing of the past now, or are they something the OP can reasonably factor into their analysis?
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I don't believe they are a thing of the past. I have a teenager young adult and all his friends and himself have a summer and even for lots of them term jobs. A good number of secondary school students do too.
However while I see the benefits of these jobs, I also find that some use them as a way to spend on a somewhat expensive lifestyle (travel abroad, concerts abroad, restaurants...) which I am not sure help in terms of learning about discretionary expenses
Personally, I think working is a good experience. However, I think the priority in terms of work during these years should be education and study and I prefer it to be limited to holiday work if it's financially viable. I must say, this might depend on their area of study and timetable. While I encourage my children to get a job and expect them to pay some of their cost, I try to find a balance between them only financing their social life and them financing "living" cost.
My younger teenager has very few demands in terms of discretionary expenses. It might come from the fact that they hate shopping. I manage to drag them twice to the shops during the summer. I can't say I enjoyed these few hours with them!
 
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