Cash Gifts received at Wedding

Q

QED

Registered User
Messages
222
We are looking at our budget for wedding next April.

I'm trying to estimate the amount of cash gifts we will receive. We will not be asking for cash but as we will be in our house for a year at the time of the wedding, and the hints we intend dropping to family, we are hoping for cash instead of presents in a lot of cases.

We will have approx 220 for the full wedding and maybe 20 - 30 more at the 'afters'.

Could anyone who has gotten married recently let me know approx how much is average to receive?
 
What a bizarre question to ask! Short of sending out a survey to all of your guests asking them to indicate how much they intend to give you, I don't think you'll be able to budget based on cash gifts. After all, you might have richer/poorer/more generous/stingier friends/family than others :p
 
On average half and half money/presents but it all depends on the generoristy of the guests, some give €100 whilst others give €150 and €200. Some people may give you €400 whilst a whole family may only give you €200. Got to look at the people and try to figure out what youthink they would give but saying that we got a few surprises, good and bad on what we thought people would give. They say you usually get €10,000 possibly €15,000 pending poeples circumstances. It's anyones guess really. Some people just can't afford to give money so they give a present instead, probably cheaper than money but either way, it's all good.
 
Celtwytch said:
What a bizarre question to ask! Short of sending out a survey to all of your guests asking them to indicate how much they intend to give you, I don't think you'll be able to budget based on cash gifts. After all, you might have richer/poorer/more generous/stingier friends/family than others :p
Click to expand...

Fair enough. I knew it was a bit wierd when I was writing it!! I was just hoping for a bit of feedback from others who have experience of this.
 
QED said:
We are looking at our budget for wedding next April.

I'm trying to estimate the amount of cash gifts we will receive. We will not be asking for cash but as we will be in our house for a year at the time of the wedding, and the hints we intend dropping to family, we are hoping for cash instead of presents in a lot of cases.

We will have approx 220 for the full wedding and maybe 20 - 30 more at the 'afters'.

Could anyone who has gotten married recently let me know approx how much is average to receive?
Click to expand...

We got married in jan and the gifts side of the things are weird. We got gifts from 50 to 300. We got lamps, we got towel, but we got NO TOASTER:D

A lot do give cash and i would say roughly 150 per couple with a little more for close family members. BUT don't be shocked when you get no gifts from some people.

We have our house etc and when people asked our parents etc about presents they said cash but we would not say it as its rude to do so i believe. Although if pushed we said dollars for our honeymoon.

Hope this helps.
 
I despise the idea (which seems to tbe gaining popularity) that the number invited to the wedding is irrelevant because it will pay for itself.

This in itself is a perfect reason to give a gift which will still exist after a week when the money is spent on the hotel bill.
 
I have to agree I hate the idea of this topic being discussed in forums. I know the forum is open to any discussion but the thought of someone trying to gage how much cash they will generate (for whatever reason) by 'marrying their loved one' is mind boggling. It's not only weddings mind you, its how much you give the teacher at xmas for teaching your child or how much you put in birthday cards. It creates pressure on people (having to keep up with the jones') and it's this 'milarkey' that has the country full of debt.
Back to topic though - if your budgeting for your wedding, sit down and set out exactly who you want to invite, look at the costs and decide if you can afford it. Then any cash gifts you may receive will be a bonus.
 
Taliesen said:
I despise the idea (which seems to tbe gaining popularity) that the number invited to the wedding is irrelevant because it will pay for itself.

This in itself is a perfect reason to give a gift which will still exist after a week when the money is spent on the hotel bill.
Click to expand...

And I'm sure that I will agree with you in time when my own wedding is over. However, for now cash is king!
 
Taliesen said:
I despise the idea (which seems to tbe gaining popularity) that the number invited to the wedding is irrelevant because it will pay for itself.

This in itself is a perfect reason to give a gift which will still exist after a week when the money is spent on the hotel bill.
Click to expand...

It's a good thing not to have to worry about numbers. You can invite the people you want and not worry about the extra costs of providing a good venue, meal and entertainment putting you into further debt.

I'm getting married soon. I note above that someone mentioned that €150 per couple is average. This is no coincidence as it roughly covers the cost of the meal per person. As a guest and as someone close to getting married this concept seems very fair to me. There are many further costs to the wedding couple such as flowers, music, outfits, etc.

€20k - €30k is probably the average spend on a wedding, almost one year's take home pay, the majority of it on feeding and entertaining guests. Getting cash gifts of €10 - €15k takes a lot of pressure off.

The fact that over half the guests will give cash enables someone, who otherwise couldn't afford to, to invite everyone thay want to share in the special day. That for me is a better gift than fancy kitchenware you don't need and a big loan hanging over you!
 
Leitz said:
I have to agree I hate the idea of this topic being discussed in forums. I know the forum is open to any discussion but the thought of someone trying to gage how much cash they will generate (for whatever reason) by 'marrying their loved one' is mind boggling. It's not only weddings mind you, its how much you give the teacher at xmas for teaching your child or how much you put in birthday cards. It creates pressure on people (having to keep up with the jones') and it's this 'milarkey' that has the country full of debt.
Back to topic though - if your budgeting for your wedding, sit down and set out exactly who you want to invite, look at the costs and decide if you can afford it. Then any cash gifts you may receive will be a bonus.
Click to expand...
The very idea of thinking about it upsets you? No one is making a profit or generating cash. For me buying an engagement ring was the point where I decided that you can't be shy about this kind of thing. If I thought people were going to bombard me with towels and toasters I'd be cutting my guest list in half to avoid getting too far into debt. Believe me, cutting the guest list in half would not be something i could live easy with but neither would the debt repayments.
 
DerKaiser. I'm not saying you need to be shy about your wedding. I'm pointing out that the idea of having people around you on the most important day of your lives becomes shadowed by the fact that you see your guests as 'paying customers'.
I know some people prefer to give money instead of a present as the couple are now often enough set up in their home and have everything but to budget your wedding based on an average amount guests are going to give you IMO is totally wrong. Your saying to your guests, come share with me the best day of my life, but pay for the priviledge. That's what I don't like.
 
Leitz said:
DerKaiser. I'm not saying you need to be shy about your wedding. I'm pointing out that the idea of having people around you on the most important day of your lives becomes shadowed by the fact that you see your guests as 'paying customers'.
I know some people prefer to give money instead of a present as the couple are now often enough set up in their home and have everything but to budget your wedding based on an average amount guests are going to give you IMO is totally wrong. Your saying to your guests, come share with me the best day of my life, but pay for the priviledge. That's what I don't like.
Click to expand...
I see your point of view. If you invite someone you should not expect a wad of cash from them. My point is that most people will want to give a gift and it is only sensible that a lot of them will give cash for two reasons
1) There is no way 200 guests can all give useful non cash gifts
2) The cash will go a long way towards paying for the huge cost of weddings these days
 
This topic really gets to me. Being of the age where I have many weddings to attend, I actually hate the thought of giving people money. I try to arrange with friends to get something meaningful or ask the couple if there is something they like.
Also, as someone getting married next year, I would hate to receive cash from my friends. I like the thought of having something long lasting into which some thought has gone.
People should have weddings that they can afford - don't get into debt for it and don't rely on others to pay for it.
 
QED said:
We are looking at our budget for wedding next April.

I'm trying to estimate the amount of cash gifts we will receive. We will not be asking for cash but as we will be in our house for a year at the time of the wedding, and the hints we intend dropping to family, we are hoping for cash instead of presents in a lot of cases.

We will have approx 220 for the full wedding and maybe 20 - 30 more at the 'afters'.

Could anyone who has gotten married recently let me know approx how much is average to receive?
Click to expand...

Just wondering why you would have a wedding for 220 people when you don't have the money for it? - could you not do something that you do have the money for? - You are relying on money from friends who in some cases probably not be able to afford to give the money but will do so anyway as it's the 'done thing'. If cash is king wait until you have some to get married with - that's what I'm doing!
 
It's quite a romantic idea to ask for gifts only. Or why not go one better and ask that your guests donate to charity instead of a gift if you can afford it?

The number one cause of marriage break up is financial issues, however. A wedding places a huge financial burden on a young couple. At the end of it all you have to ask yourself what would be more appreciated by the couple getting married. In many cases it will be the money, if that disgusts some of you fine.

The OP wanted to know how much they could expect to get in cash from 220 people. Perhaps €10k? Perhaps that means they can go ahead and invite maybe 50 people they couldn't otherwise have asked. Maybe they can book the band they want or even not have to worry about the cost of a round of drinks for the toast. Maybe this is more important to them than getting 100 sets of cutlery, etc!

Speaking personally. I'd just like to invite all the people who are important to me to my wedding. I don't want to tell my partner that she has to cut guests from her list. I want to provide a lovely meal, some drinks and excellent entertainment for my guests. The reality is that this costs a lot more money than I'll ever get in gifts, but at least I know I can go ahead with these plans because of the generousity of my guests
 
I was wed earlier this year and could afford it,barely. Wife wanted Killiany Castle! Anyhow I didn't care what people got us as long as they came. We had 130 people and got all sorts of crappy presents, to be honest I would have rathered they give us nothing. I think we got about €5000 in cash and some family and friends grouped together to pay for the band. I am at the age where all my mates are getting married and we seem to spend alot of time at weddings and I for one would not dream of getting a Wok or big plate for a friend, cash is king!

And I could never see the point in giving shopping vouchers, Give me cash in that case, thats a voucher I can spend anywhere.

BTW OP I agree with people who say, have a wedding you can afford and don't rely on people to subsidize it for you.

Best of luck, your life WILL change :D
 
Thanks everyone.

Of course it would be more logical to have a small wedding that you can easily afford and donate extra cash to charity etc. etc.

But this explains my reasoning better than I could: (Thanks DerKaiser)

"The OP wanted to know how much they could expect to get in cash from 220 people. Perhaps €10k? Perhaps that means they can go ahead and invite maybe 50 people they couldn't otherwise have asked. Maybe they can book the band they want or even not have to worry about the cost of a round of drinks for the toast."

We are starting to decide between different suppliers etc. and there's no use pretending we won't be getting any cash. I just wanted a very rough idea of an average amount. I can say with absolute certainty that I will only have people I want to be there attending and will not think any more or any less of anyone depending on presents received. (And of course I will repay slowly as I attend other weddings).
 
ney001 said:
Just wondering why you would have a wedding for 220 people when you don't have the money for it? - could you not do something that you do have the money for? - You are relying on money from friends who in some cases probably not be able to afford to give the money but will do so anyway as it's the 'done thing'. If cash is king wait until you have some to get married with - that's what I'm doing!
Click to expand...

Well said!
 
QED said:
I can say with absolute certainty that I will only have people I want to be there attending and will not think any more or any less of anyone depending on presents received. (And of course I will repay slowly as I attend other weddings).
Click to expand...


Ahhh just 220 close friends so! :D
 
From our wedding experience, I definitely agree with one of the earlier posters that suggested getting people to donate to your fav. charity instead of giving you presents!

At our wedding 2 years ago, we told anyone who asked about what to get us either that there was no need to get us presents or if they insisted on getting us something, then we would prefer cash as we were renting an absolutely tiny house at the time and had no room for presents. Generally speaking, guests (especially the older ones) were not comfortable giving cash so we ended up with a lot of stuff that we had to get rid of because we didn't have the room for it. The most popular gift was paintings, followed by mantel clocks! The paintings were particularly frustrating because they were given to us unframed and we didn't have the money, wall space or appreciation of the compositions to justify forking out the money to get them framed - so they remain rolled up in the attic to this day, which is such a waste!

We also got a lot of vouchers, which I thought were great at the time but have turned out to be quite a hassle as they all had 12-month expiration dates and we weren't in a position to buy anything in our first year of marriage due to space issues, so all the vouchers have required a lot of fighting with companies to get them renewed. I would never give a voucher as a wedding present now that I've been through that.

Regarding the few cash gifts we did get, we ended up with about 4,000 euro - half of which came from 2 very generous family members. We had 90 guests in total so from my experience, if you are counting on your wedding guests to offset your wedding costs, it's a huge gamble that isn't likely to pay off. My advice: limit your guests to the people you REALLY care to see you get married and they'll feel very special for getting an invitation, and forget about the gifts altogether unless you want to try generate some awareness for a fav. charity among your guests.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top