Bought with sister, now getting married. Help!

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markesmith

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I bought a lovely house with my sister 3 years ago. Since then I've met someone and we're getting married in the Spring, and my sister has put a deposit on a new house that will be ready for her to move into this time next year.

Unfortunately, relations with my sister have deteriorated to the point where she barely speaks to me. I would like my new husband to move in when we're married and eventually take over the mortgage and pay her off. But she insists that he can't move in and she won't sell to us, even though she intends moving to the new house.

I'm very attached to the house and have taken care of all the maintenance and cleaning for the last 2.5 years. Also I work from home so I Really don't want to move out. My finace and I can't afford to buy our own place really. She wants to put a tenant in place when she moves, to cover her mortgage payments on the house and has alternatively suggested that my husband and I could take over her payment. That would leave US paying HER mortgage - which obviously wouldn't be a sensible move for us.

Does anybody know if she is entitled, legally to stop my husband moving in? Also, is there any way I can force her to sell to us? I really need some help on this. Thanks.
 
All a bit unfortunate!

She can't stop your husband moving in but its not going to make for happy times if she says no and he moves in anyway. Mind you its not nice of her to say she will get a tenant in when she does move out.

No, you can't force her to sell the house to you. But would it really not just make sense to agree to sell the house and split the proceeds? You can compel the sale of the house but it will involve a Court application.

Best thing you can both do is work out how best to end the house situation so that neither of you have to feel you've lost or won.

mf
 
If the house was a new house or you claimed reduced stamp duty being first time buyers she will have a stamp duty liability if she rents it so maybe by telling her this it might help to change her mind.
 
So, she can't stop him moving in? Well that's something to consider, although not ideal. She has stated in no uncertain terms that she will not sell and doesn not want the house to be sold, so can I ask if someone could give me an idea of how much she would have to pay me to buy out my share? Here are the details:
House originally cost: 284,000
25 yr Mortgage Loan amount: 261,280 Variable Rate Home Loan Permanent
TSB
Current balance approx: 220,000
House Currently Valued : 395,000
Just incase you're thinking I'm a terrible person, rest assured that I have tried everything to make things OK with her, but she's entrenched in her position. Very sad.
 
this is a difficult situation to be honest..maybe shes jealous of you doing better than her..froma start getting married before her. what about the wedding, did u get her involved at all? she maybe unhappy as u not talking to her and not letting her taking part in it.
 
markesmith said:
I bought a lovely house with my sister 3 years ago. Since then I've met someone and we're getting married in the Spring, and my sister has put a deposit on a new house that will be ready for her to move into this time next year.

Unfortunately, relations with my sister have deteriorated to the point where she barely speaks to me. I would like my new husband to move in when we're married and eventually take over the mortgage and pay her off. But she insists that he can't move in and she won't sell to us, even though she intends moving to the new house.

I'm very attached to the house and have taken care of all the maintenance and cleaning for the last 2.5 years. Also I work from home so I Really don't want to move out. My finace and I can't afford to buy our own place really. She wants to put a tenant in place when she moves, to cover her mortgage payments on the house and has alternatively suggested that my husband and I could take over her payment. That would leave US paying HER mortgage - which obviously wouldn't be a sensible move for us.

Does anybody know if she is entitled, legally to stop my husband moving in? Also, is there any way I can force her to sell to us? I really need some help on this. Thanks.
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Are there perhaps other issues other than financial issues here? I.e. are there issues relating to you getting married that are manifesting as financial issues.

I am sure that there must be an amicable way of sorting this out. I suggest you talk.

Did you come up with any sort of aggrement when ye bought the house?
 
Assuming your sister wont sell. You want a house to yourself with no tenant. How can you expect your sister to finance this ?
 
Meathman99 said:
Assuming your sister wont sell. You want a house to yourself with no tenant. How can you expect your sister to finance this ?
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I don't think the OP is expecting that. Though I'm sure they appreciate your considered and insightful comment. :rolleyes:
 
its a tough situation your in

I would like my new husband to move in when we're married and eventually take over the mortgage and pay her off.
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She wants to put a tenant in place when she moves, to cover her mortgage payments on the house and has alternatively suggested that my husband and I could take over her payment. That would leave US paying HER mortgage - which obviously wouldn't be a sensible move for us.
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you want your husband to move in and eventually buy your sister out
however you don't want your husband to contribute any rent , if so then I think its only fair that your sister is allowed to have a tenant contribute rent to cover some or all of her portion of the mortgage repayment. I can see how uncooperative your sister is being by not agreeing to sell her share of the house to you, however I don't see whats wrong with her request that instead of her putting a tenant in that effectively your husband becomes the new tenant and pays rent.
That would leave US paying HER mortgage -
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not really it would leave your husband paying your sister rent, doesnt seem to unreasonable to me.
 
I'm kinda seeing this from your sisters standpoint.

She bought the house with you as her home and perhaps longer term as an investment she would hold onto and rent out.

Then winged Cupid enters the scene and hits you with an arrow . And now you want to change her plans and her (joint owned) property into your family home.

Not surprised she's giving you two fingers.
 
Goodness, I'm getting alot of emotional replies.
Quick run down:
We were great friends for all our lives. She changed before I met my fiance, basically excluding me from her life in everyway possible, including arranging social outing with our common friends but not inviting me along. She is immune to all of my efforts to mend our relationship - including extensive talks, crying, pleading, many offers of olive branches and even offering to go to counseling together. No-one can understand why she's being like this, although some have suggested a long term jealousy in her that she hasn't recognised.

So, those of you suggesting we talk - well, been there, done that. And even at that, she speaks in a forced, legalese type of way and doesn't show any particle of warmth.

I guess there's no way out of this but for me to give in to her and let her have the house. Though it will break my heart.
 
markesmith said:
I guess there's no way out of this but for me to give in to her and let her have the house. Though it will break my heart.
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Could you rent out your half and keep it as an investment? Without you living there to look after the upkeep your sister may find that being a landlord is not as easy as she thinks.
 
sometimes situation like is has no perfect solutions.obviously her close friend cannot help you out in this occassion.
my wife's sister act the same way too.she did take part in the wedding but didn't act if shes on behalf of the host, not mentioning sociailising with guests etc etc. on the after drink party she and her husband bump in to an old friend of his and they decided to go off and cup of coffee with friend without telling us?AWOL then my wife went mad found out they went back to hotel afterwards. anyway long long story...

in this case lets hope someone will tell ur sister that shes wrong..sounds like a BF can do the job.
 
I think some posters seem to have missed the point that there's a longer term offer to buy out the sister - it doesn't sound like the sister is being asked to"pay for husband's accommodation".

It's a terrible situation for everyone involved no matter how the estrangement arose, and I really feel for you, markesmith. It does, unfortunately, underline the importance of always ensuring that you have a clear agreement on what happens if the person you buy with changes their plans, or the relationship breaks down (whatever the nature of the relationship). Buying with an other half to whom you're not married, or a family member, should be no different: you need to know how you deal with the property if things go sour.

In this situation, I suspect the only realistic way to deal with it is to sell the property and split any gain you've made in proportion to the financial contribution you've made, if the sister can be persuaded to go along with this. As it is, it's a PPR mortgage, and she shouldn't hold on to it without getting the mortgage terms changed (she may have problems with mortgage providers and revenue otherwise) - and that's something with which you will probably not go along, I imagine.

I wish you the best in getting a workable solution, and hope it doesn't come to losing a home you're obviously fond of and emotionally as well as financially invested in, but if you try to force the point it'll probably cost you money - potentially a lot of money - and any chance you may have of rebuilding your relationship with your sister. Good luck and sympathy.
 
i didn't want my post to sound unsympathetic, just trying to see it from your sisters prospective.

Originally Posted by markesmith http://www.askaboutmoney.com/showthread.php?p=318536#post318536
I guess there's no way out of this but for me to give in to her and let her have the house. Though it will break my heart.
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Is she in a position to buy you out? if so you might benefit from a new fresh start with your future husband.

IF shes not in a position to buy you out, an she will not allow you buy her out, then she should at least allow you choose what tenant to live with, in this case your husband. But I do think its only fair that if he does move in and she is still joint owner then he should pay rent.

I hope it works out for you.
 
If she s buying a new house maybe her financial situation will soon change and she may be forced to come to your door looking for your help. If you can wait it out for a while your luck may change.
 
Eventhough its not ideal I think, as a poster above suggested, you should both rent out the whole house and see how that works. Right now your sister has you there even if she puts a tenant in and eventhough your relationship has deteriorated she trusts you with the house. Being a landlord isnt the same thing. Rent out the house, share the proceeds and come back to the problem in a couple of years. Perhaps then she might sell to you.

I know its not ideal, it means that you have to rent somewhere else too so its not even financially great however it gives you both time with no rash outcome.

good luck.
cas
 
Thank you so much everyone for the considered and helpful posts. It really helps to get an outside perspective on the whole awful situation. So, obviously, the moral of the story is - don't buy jointly unless you have a clear, possibly legal, set of agreements set in place to cover all eventualities.
Thanks again.
 
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