Average price of a wedding inc reception etc?

Taximan said:
I got married seven years ago, and still rue the amount of money we squandered on our wedding, inviting guests we hardly new (parents friends they do bring decent presents though) stupid photos baa humbug. But we had a great day, nevertheless it is still only a day so should be kept in perspective.

Thats my rant but the biggest mistake we made was the honneymoon. For the last three months before your wed you are very busy and quite stressed at times, then you have a massive day where you are the centre of attention of 150 people, two days later you are sitting in some dodgy honeymoon hotel with just each other it is a massive anti climax. We went to Lake Garda full of honey mooners all with the same bored faces. Especially since most couples nowadays live togeather first the honeymoon is a bit of an irrelevence IMO.

My advise is to take a long Weekend in some European city after wedding to relax, then come home and enjoy the fun with your friends Then go on some serious trip i.e month in AUS maybe the following summer. When all the wedding stress has long gone.

One other thought I could not give a monkeys about my friends getting married I am really happy for them if they do but have no real interest in going to their weddings. I know its important for my family to be there so would you not take your families to a small church service and then a really nice meal in a flash restaurant that night. Then blow the 20K on a on a decent party for your mates (no dodgy bands )and a great time for the two of you instead of providing over cooked lamb cutlets to people you wont recognise in the street in 10 years.

Just a thought.
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I would agree with this. I especially like the honeymoon idea. But spending so much money on a day out would really boil my blood if it put me in debt for a number of years. I used to be careless with money in the past and getting into debt for silly little things that led to bigger money problems. There is no way I want that to happen again just because my girlfriend wants a big day.
 
rkeane said:
I would agree with this. I especially like the honeymoon idea. But spending so much money on a day out would really boil my blood if it put me in debt for a number of years. I used to be careless with money in the past and getting into debt for silly little things that led to bigger money problems. There is no way I want that to happen again just because my girlfriend wants a big day.
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luckly we won't be in debt, i've pay for it out of my salary next year. but i do see people getting into a lot of debt and that i can't understand.

on the honeymoon, well we'll go for a week relax and a week doing stuff. off to cancun and the states so there will be lots to keep me interested.
 
Ron Burgundy said:
luckly we won't be in debt, i've pay for it out of my salary next year. but i do see people getting into a lot of debt and that i can't understand.

on the honeymoon, well we'll go for a week relax and a week doing stuff. off to cancun and the states so there will be lots to keep me interested.
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Wedding advice - Don't let your wife to be see this!!
 
I agree with all the posters who say it's a waste to over-do the spending. I can't understand (and perhaps someone can explain to me) why aunts & uncles that one only sees at funerals HAVE to be invited! Even, in some cases, cousins are invited who hardly know the bride & groom. Is it because the B&G want to make an impression, or don't want to let themselves down or something? If you really only invite those who mean a huge amount to you, then those people (to whom you will probably mean a huge amount too) should feel particularly pleased to be there. You don't spend a huge amount, and those who are there REALLY want to be there, and you really want them there. Why a couple would spend 20k, 30k, etc on a "party" (that's basically what it is) for one day is difficult for me to understand. I can't get my head around it. There are so many things you could both enjoy for 20k/30k, but a party with a hundred or so people you'll never see again isn't one of them, IMO.
 
Well, if I was getting married and didnt invite several people, it would be the talk of the extended family. Then, whebn their wedding comes around, you and probably your borthers and sisters dont get invited to it. Its all whispered about and people generally hate that. But if you can just accept that you are not going to get an invitation to every last one of your cousins weddings, then invite who you like to yours. But it is a very real issue even if it is a petty one.
 
rkeane said:
Well, if I was getting married and didnt invite several people, it would be the talk of the extended family. Then, whebn their wedding comes around, you and probably your borthers and sisters dont get invited to it. Its all whispered about and people generally hate that. But if you can just accept that you are not going to get an invitation to every last one of your cousins weddings, then invite who you like to yours. But it is a very real issue even if it is a petty one.
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Clearly it really is a huge issue for some people. If the extended family are going to talk about you because you didn't invite "X" then the extended family need to get a life. Then, when their weddings come around and you're not invited, why would that bother you? This is exactly my point! The whole invite thing is only being done (in the scenario of your example) to save face or to make sure people don't talk or to repay someone who invited you to theirs!! But that's not being honest, and it's not really being fair to yourself or to the people you invite. I don't understand why mature adults (and presumably that's what we are when we prepare to get married!) are afraid to not invite someone to their wedding!! I'm sorry but really I can't swallow that. If someone doesn't invite me somewhere, then I completely take their point. They don't particularly want or need me there, and they don't want to pretend otherwise, and that's fine.
 
Audrey said:
Clearly it really is a huge issue for some people. If the extended family are going to talk about you because you didn't invite "X" then the extended family need to get a life. Then, when their weddings come around and you're not invited, why would that bother you? This is exactly my point! The whole invite thing is only being done (in the scenario of your example) to save face or to make sure people don't talk or to repay someone who invited you to theirs!! But that's not being honest, and it's not really being fair to yourself or to the people you invite. I don't understand why mature adults (and presumably that's what we are when we prepare to get married!) are afraid to not invite someone to their wedding!! I'm sorry but really I can't swallow that. If someone doesn't invite me somewhere, then I completely take their point. They don't particularly want or need me there, and they don't want to pretend otherwise, and that's fine.
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Yes but thats the way people are. Also, if you invite someone that you are quite close to, you'll have to invite their wife/husband. Invite them then you might feel you have to invite their kids if you're already inviting his/hers brothers kids. Its really all about how they are connected. My sister invited all those she felt close to at work. One girl who she works with is my other sisters mother in law but does not really get on with her so much. She didnt invite her and was most definitely told that the no invitation was not appreciated.
 
rkeane said:
One girl who she works with is my other sisters mother in law but does not really get on with her so much. She didnt invite her and was most definitely told that the no invitation was not appreciated.
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Well I understand that. It put the 'mother in law' in question in an awkward position i.e. others invited and although she was 'almost' family, she was not.
 
€20K budget seem like a lot of money to me for one day; We hadn't a bean at the time, it cost £2k punts including maybe 4 rooms in the hotel and the price of the honeymoon, albeit 7 years ago. We had a simple church wedding followed by a meal in the restaurant of a local hotel, which was very nice, before retiring to the bar for plenty of Guinness and song. Our honeymoon was a week skiing, which was great.

Only immediate family and a few close friends attended (36); the priest was a friend of mine; there was no video or photographer to get in the way or annoy guests (we got copies of the best photos that guests took); no band or DJ just ballads and banter; my wife did the Mass books, no invites as we spoke to those involved 2 weeks before; the rings didn't cost a fortune nor did we go to Antwerp:); my wife's brother drove her to the church in his perfectly good car; my wife's mother made the dresses for the bride and bridesmaid; myself and the Best Man wore normal suits; don't think there was much spent on flowers but the church happened to be bedecked in flowers from a wedding the previous day. We had a great day and it was stress free . . and if we had it do do over again we'd do the same.
 
well said MichaelM, the way to do it alright. The one change Id make is to have a DJ for afters, everyone repeat...you cant spend too much on the DJ. :p
 
There is so much politics surrounding wedding invites!

If I ever get married, I want it to be small and intimate with about 50 people.
Luckily my sister had a big blow-out wedding and invited all our aunts and uncles, so I feel I can get away with not inviting any of them without upsetting anyone. Also luckily I have not been invited to any cousins weddings (older brothers and sisters were invited), so I wont feel I'll have to return any invites.
My rule will be : if their numbers are not in my mobile phone (i.e. people with whom I'm in close contact) then they wont be getting an invite.
Hopefully that would keep the cost down too (mind you I'll have a huge budget for the honeymoon!).
 
I like that policy but my phone keeps wiping itself :eek:

ragazza said:
There is so much politics surrounding wedding invites!

If I ever get married, I want it to be small and intimate with about 50 people.
Luckily my sister had a big blow-out wedding and invited all our aunts and uncles, so I feel I can get away with not inviting any of them without upsetting anyone. Also luckily I have not been invited to any cousins weddings (older brothers and sisters were invited), so I wont feel I'll have to return any invites.
My rule will be : if their numbers are not in my mobile phone (i.e. people with whom I'm in close contact) then they wont be getting an invite.
Hopefully that would keep the cost down too (mind you I'll have a huge budget for the honeymoon!).
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Im the talk of my extended familly no mater what i do I cant win :mad:

When is that programme on joe1234? or were u just havin a laugh? would like to see it not that i have an ssia although it looks as though i could do with it on top of the 20k

thanks
 
ragazza said:
My rule will be : if their numbers are not in my mobile phone (i.e. people with whom I'm in close contact) then they wont be getting an invite.
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Totally agree with ragazza.
I got married 3 yrs ago and we only invited immediate family (i.e. NO cousins!!) and close friends.
No work colleagues (afters invitations only for them)
No-one I hadn't been out for a drink with within the last year.
Allowed the parents to invite 1 table each of old/family friends
Kept the numbers down to 100 (both of us have large families!) and nearly everyone who was there we had known for at least 10yrs (since college) so it really felt personal.
I've been at several weddings since then (150+ people) where people were kind of wondering why they had been invited.
Keep the numbers down, set a strict limit on the wine available, ask for discounts for everything - flowers, suits, car etc.
Don't ever put 'Cash only' on the invites - very bad form, but you can tell your parents to let anyone who asks that cash would be welcome.
Most NB thing - on the day itself, step back and take it all in, it's supposed to be fun so make sure you enjoy yourselves!!

Good Luck!:)
 
Carebear said:
I am recently engaged myself and have the church, hotel, photographer and music already booked for my weddng in 2008. Decide on a date and speak to your priest and hotel first then sort out the rest. The hotel is approx 37.00 euro per head for 4 course meal with choice of main course and appetizer. At first we thought that having wine at meal was a real rip off but then thought the other option of buying a drink for everyone at the reception was a real rip off i.e some smart a*se ordering a double etc and we left with a hefty bill the next morning. The hotel are charging us 8.00 corkage and we are going to buy the wine ourselves - look for special offers and start stocking up now!! We are going to make our own invitations - nothing too fancy becasue we all know that they are thrown into the bin! My fiance has a big family of cousins where as I have only a handful but we decided from the start we are only inviting people who actually mean something to us to the full day, as this is our day and we both want the special people in our lives there to share the day with us instead of people we never see. At present we have approx 150 to day and the same to evening reception. We have a good local band approx 1000.00 and local dj for approx 300.00. Im going to buy my dress in the sale and buy 3 bridesmaid dresses that my bridesmaids can actually wear again ie. knee lenght dresses, instead of long dresses left hanging in a wardrobe. Check out www.simplyweddings.com or do a google search on weddings in your area i.e weddings in Meath (or whatever county you live in)
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Dear god - €37 per head? Where are you having your reception? We thought we were doing well with €69 per head with a 5 course meal - 2 option main course + vegetarian option !!
 
Just got engaged recently, and oh my god do I regret mentioning it to my father! As i don't live in my home country, we have decided to get married there, that way his family will have to travel, and we'll try to make a holiday out of it for them. His family are delighted with the idea of a small wedding, only direct family (ie, parents, brothers and sisters with partners), and small group of really close friends, but my dad in particular, doesn't understand that I don't want to invite all my uncles and aunts, cousins, whom I hardly seem, or his friends. One of my cousins is getting married a few weeks before me, and I am not going to the wedding, I know for sure we'll get an invitation, because they want a big do, but I know for fact that I won't go, and that they will talk about me not going. They don't even know I am getting married, it's not of their business.
Weddings are supposed to be a day to remember, because you are starting a new life with the one you love, it shouldn't be about who you invite, who you don't, and how much you spend on the food and drink!!

I know it's going to be difficult to make my father understand it, but I am paying for it, and we'll do it our way. Otherwise, I'll go to Vegas, won't tell anyone, and will come back married!!!

Best of luck to all of you trying to organise a wedding, we'll need it.

BTW: i am looking at 100+ per head, but drinks will be included in this, so i think I am not doing to bad. Haven't book anything yet, have plenty of time.
 
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Very recently got engaged and have to start planning things now.

I can't believe that people would spend so much on one day! I haven't been to many weddings but I usually don't like them very much (big Irish ones anyway) so the plan is to marry abroad with immediate family and a couple of very close friends and then have a party at home.

I wouldn't even mind having no party at home but I have a huge family and if there's no party at home they'll all insist on going abroad for the ceremony, which is something I really don't want.

I dislike wedding bands so think we'll just get a dj. I don't like formal sit-down wedding meals and as it's going to be an evening party, I think a buffet style thing will be fine. Basically I want to leave out all the bits of a wedding that I don't like and concentrate on enjoying myself. I'm certainly not going to spend a fortune.

The last wedding I was invited to was a huge big affair with a few hundred people and a little church (miles away from the venue - why do people do this?). I didn't go because I don't really know the couple all that well (think I was just invited for the present) and it wasn't worth spending a fortune on accomodation, gift, clothes etc.
 
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