Au Pair Pros and Cons

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David_Dublin

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With the cost of childcare we're looking at maybe getting an au pair when my wife goes back to work when her maternity leave is finished. Some of our friends have used them with success, I thought I might spread the net slightly wider and see if people on here had any strong feelings one way or another about using au pairs.

Our situation - We have a 3 year old, and a 5 month old. I would be gone from the house by 8.15 every morning, back by 6pm most evenings. My wife would be working 5 hours a day, monday to thursday, needing half an hour for travel to/from work. The creche our eldest is in is 5 mins from our house. The plan would be that on mon-thurs the au pair would do the creche drop off and pick up our eldest, and mind the baby in between. So au pair would be free by approx 2 or 2.30 mon-thurs, and free all day friday. At the moment the eldest is in the creche 5 days, 2 full days, 3 half days. We' prob change to 5 half days.

Not sure what else is relevant. Au pair would have their own bedroom. We only have one bathroom unfortunately, but there is ample room in the house for an additional body - its about 1700 sq feet. So has anyone got any tips, do's, dont's, advice re looking for an au pair, choosing an au pair, whether to get one or not? Thanks.
 
Au pairs tend to be fairly young and are generally inexperienced; add to that the fact that they may have less than perfect English (which is fair enough, that's why they come here after all) and are dealing with new culture, country and home & you have a lot to deal with.

I would think, with a baby that young and a 3 year old, you need an experienced child minder and not an au pair.

You could still successfully get someone to live in, but I would recommend that you up the qualifications/experience you need and increase the salary accordingly.

If you can, put a comfy chair & tv into the bedroom; a WHB is generally easy to fit and takes pressure off the main bathroom.
 
My sil's use aupairs and over all find them excellent - however they would not leave them with an infant - as in general these are young girls (17-20)..
 
Thanks for the replies. We would definitely not consider someone that we considered too young or inexperienced for the job. From what I have seen amongst our friends, they come with various levels of experience, age and maturity.
 
I think you would need to talk to a few aupairs and judge for yourself for the person they are and by what experience they had, not just go by their age.

I was 18 when i had my son and 21 when i had my daughter, same age range that people have said they wouldn't leave their young children with. Now obviously i understand that this is very different to looking after your own children and someone else looking after them. And by no means am i suggesting that every 17-20 year old would be capable of looking after 3 young children, the childminder i use at the moment has just turned 17 and i trust her completly. Very mature and reliable for her age and i know i am very lucky to have her.
 
samanthajane said:
I think you would need to talk to a few aupairs and judge for yourself for the person they are and by what experience they had, not just go by their age.

I was 18 when i had my son and 21 when i had my daughter, same age range that people have said they wouldn't leave their young children with. Now obviously i understand that this is very different to looking after your own children and someone else looking after them. And by no means am i suggesting that every 17-20 year old would be capable of looking after 3 young children, the childminder i use at the moment has just turned 17 and i trust her completly. Very mature and reliable for her age and i know i am very lucky to have her.
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I completely agree, that's what I meant when referring to different levels of maturity. I think that and the experience will be the key factor. We have a child minder who we know available until September, when the baby is 1, so we will probably use her and then re-examine using an au pair.
 
I don't think that the above document from entemp.ie relates to au pairs. Au Pairs can be paid less than the minimum hourly rate as they are seen to be part of the family and the payment they get is referred to as pocket money.
 
Ruam said:
An au pair is working for a wage and is entitled to the same rights as other workers.
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Not quite. I suspect you may be confusing an au pair with a nanny.
From aupairireland.com who engage au pairs for families for a placement fee:

  • An au-pair is a young European girl whose primary purpose in coming to Ireland is to learn English through living with you and your family, and to experience Irish family life and culture first hand.
  • In exchange for your hospitality, friendship and support the au-pair's main responsibility is to provide childcare assistance for up to 30 hours per week and to receive Euro 80 per week pocket-money. Some light household duties, mainly related to the children may be included in the 30 hours.
 
Nutso said:
I don't think that the above document from entemp.ie relates to au pairs. Au Pairs can be paid less than the minimum hourly rate as they are seen to be part of the family and the payment they get is referred to as pocket money.
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True to an extent, but it does depend on the duties and the hours worked doing those duties. I think it is generally limited that official working conditions provide for a 5-hour day, 6-day week totalling 30 hours, plus a number of evenings babysitting. Beyond that they may be considered a domestic employee.

Sorry, above got there first. I think dept employment consider them "students", again unless they work beyond those hours.
 
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Sounds like you may need a nanny. I am in the same boat as yourself, have a two children under three . I have been advised to hire a professional child carer.
 
TreeTiger said:
Not quite. I suspect you may be confusing an au pair with a nanny.
From aupairireland.com who engage au pairs for families for a placement fee:

  • An au-pair is a young European girl whose primary purpose in coming to Ireland is to learn English through living with you and your family, and to experience Irish family life and culture first hand.
  • In exchange for your hospitality, friendship and support the au-pair's main responsibility is to provide childcare assistance for up to 30 hours per week and to receive Euro 80 per week pocket-money. Some light household duties, mainly related to the children may be included in the 30 hours.
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Thanks for that. And there i was hiring an accountant to do up the payslips for the au pair based on Ruam's informed comments!! They are probably entitled to join a trade union too.
 
David_Dublin said:
Thanks for that. And there i was hiring an accountant to do up the payslips for the au pair based on Ruam's informed comments!! They are probably entitled to join a trade union too.
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In fairness it was my comments that probably sparked that, but I neglected to qualify the statement with the 30hrs cut off. Though I still stand by them if you do go over this limit there could be an issue.
 
Latrade said:
In fairness it was my comments that probably sparked that, but I neglected to qualify the statement with the 30hrs cut off. Though I still stand by them if you do go over this limit there could be an issue.
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Fair enough. I'm sure that it is in everyone's interests to make sure that we treat her well, and better than the minimum legal standards. What goes around comes around, I believe in treating people who work for me properly. We have had a foreign student stay with us before, before we had kids, and she stayed for nothing, no rent or anything, she was stuck and was a friend of a friend etc and we gave her a room for the summer. I would be confident that if we go down the au pair route that when she goes home she will have had a great life experience.
 
Just a quick question... what if an aupair becomes sick and has to go to hospital? Are all EU citizens entitled to hospital care here? I presume the E111 (or whatever its called nowadays) does not apply for aupairs or longstay visitors. what about non-EU citizens? Is it advisable to get a PPS number for an aupair?
 
As you can see from the thread there are different shades of understanding what an au pair is and does. The same is true of au pairs. If you do get an au pair make sure that you both have the same understanding of what the situation will be, for example whether she will be more like an employee or part of the family. Even that phrase 'part of the family' can mean different things to different people, as there are many different types of family backgrounds. For some young au pairs, even 17 year olds, it can mean being quite independent outside of domestic duties, whereas you might think a 17 year old isn't old enough to be heading off doing her own thing in a foreign country.
 
I came to Ireland as an aupair when I was 18 and I had to mind 2 kids, one was 4 months old and the other one 3 years old. They took me in when the mum was still in maternity leave so that I could get used to their routine and the mum could rest and see how things got on at the same time. We both sign up with an aupair agency in case it didn't work out but everything went really well. I had an excellent time and over ten years later we still are in contact. Most of the other aupairs I met at the time had to take care of babies and It wasn't a problem for any of them once you get used to their routine.
 
David_Dublin said:
Our situation - We have a 3 year old, and a 5 month old. I would be gone from the house by 8.15 every morning, back by 6pm most evenings. My wife would be working 5 hours a day, monday to thursday, needing half an hour for travel to/from work. The creche our eldest is in is 5 mins from our house. The plan would be that on mon-thurs the au pair would do the creche drop off and pick up our eldest, and mind the baby in between. So au pair would be free by approx 2 or 2.30 mon-thurs, and free all day friday. At the moment the eldest is in the creche 5 days, 2 full days, 3 half days. We' prob change to 5 half days.

Another option might be to put the baby in the creche for the five half days and let the au pair care for the 3 year old. This would give her a bit more freedom to get out and about and could go to the playground, swimming or join a parent and toddler group. This might work well even for a few months. Just another option...
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