After I die, I don't want my house to go to my husband's family

L

lambdas

Registered User
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Hello,

Can someone advise please.

If you are 2 years into clearing the mortgage on your home,
Home is in your own name
Home purchased 20 years ago
Met my partner 10 years ago and living with him 8 years, getting married in 2 years
He has been divorced twice, lost his home, no assets, small outstanding debt on the loss of his home, no interest in paying what's owed.
No Kids on either side and too old to have them now
In our early 50's
he pays most of the household bills, I make double contributions towards the mortgage to pay it off early.


1. Is there a way that if I die first, partner is left the home and that after his death the home is willed to my family not his ?
2. When we get married is the home equally owned? He contributes nothing towards the mortgage.
3. If we separate, what's the likely outcome

I don't see us separating, but I don't want my home to go to his family and I dont trust him to ensure the home goes to my family on his death.
No wills done up !!


Thanks
 
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IANAL & you definitely need legal advice.

My understanding is that you can leave the property to your family with a sole residency clause so your partner can continue to live there until he passes away.

I would caution against marriage given what you have posted
 
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lambdas said:
Met my partner 10 years ago and living with him 8 years, getting married in 2 years
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Your post is confusing, but it sounds as if you are planning to get married in 2026?

In the meantime, you should do a will, leaving him the home to do with it as he pleases.

Don't make life complicated for yourself and himself by rights of residency and other stuff.

Brendan
 
The fact that he has been living with you for 8 years, probably does give him rights. If you don't separate, then that probably won't matter.

But as DannyBoy has said, you should go to a solicitor immediately and get full legal advice on all the options.

1) Do up a will leaving him the house.
2) What happens if you separate before you get married? Can you protect yourself in any way?
3) What happens if you divorce?

Brendan
 
You say "he contributes nothing towards the mortgage ".
I think this would legally not be considered correct.
By him paying your share of the household bills, you are paying his share of the mortgage (on his behalf).
 
It sounds like you need a prenuptial agreement, which would lay out the state of play on both sides. Citizens advice say that a spouse is entitled to one half of the estate. This can be given up in a pre-nuptial agreement. You and your partner should get independent legal advice before you both sign a pre-nup. Once that is complete make your will and live happily ever after.

But I would agree with Allen that he has already contributed to the home in the last 8 years by paying all the household bills. It could be argued that this freed you up to make the mortgage payments. If I were advising him I would say put all the household bills in your name alone.

One question I wonder about, say you draw up a will next week leaving your house to your family. And you suddenly die in January where do you think your partner could live?
 
Clamball said:
It sounds like you need a prenuptial agreement,
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Agree in that it might help clarify what was intended when they got married, but such agreements are not recognised in Irish law, so he would be free to ignore it.

Clamball said:
you suddenly die in January where do you think your partner could live?
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DannyBoyD said:
My understanding is that you can leave the property to your family with a sole residency clause so your partner can continue to live there until he passes away.
Click to expand...
 
Brendan Burgess said:
Agree in that it might help clarify what was intended when they got married, but such agreements are not recognised in Irish law, so he would be free to ignore it.
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According to citizens advice “The only provision in Irish law is under sections 113 and 113A of the Succession Act 1965 (as amended) where a spouse or a civil partner can renounce his/her legal right share in a pre-nuptial agreement.”

So in this specific instance it does have some standing in law but I am not a lawyer and you would need to discuss with a legal advisor if it is suitable in your personal circumstances.

Even if you do not marry your partner he may have rights to some of your inheritance given the fact that you have lived together for 8+ years.

I personally am all for a simple straightforward life/death. You and your partner have been together for 10 years, so get married, leave it all to your spouse on death (or your family if he dies first), and live a long and happy life together. If you die first let your husband/partner decide what to do in their will.
 
That’s madness and ignores real life. Say I’m married with three kids and €30m. The marriage breaks-up and I take up with the girl in my local coffee shop (the blonde one). We get married, I get run over by a taxi, and she gets the €30m (or at least the bulk of it)?
 
If only life was so simple Gordon.

I am assuming you divorced wife 1 before you married wife 2? In the divorce settlement you made provision for your wife 1 and 3 children - essentially she ended up with €15 mil.

If you die after marrying wife 2 - she gets at least 2/3 and the remaining goes to your children. So €10 to her and €5mil to your three kids.

Being young wife 2 probably is at least pregnant by this stage so the €5 mil is shared between the 4 kids.

Ultimately when both wives die and split the estate equally between their own kids, kids 1-3 will end up with €6+mil, and kid 4 with €11+ mil.

Was this what you wanted? Did you want kids 1-3 to have €10 mil each? And kid 4 €0? Did you want wife 1 to have nothing after the divorce? Did you want to dump wife 2 with €0 when you moved on to wife 3?
 
Clamball said:
If only life was so simple Gordon.

I am assuming you divorced wife 1 before you married wife 2? In the divorce settlement you made provision for your wife 1 and 3 children - essentially she ended up with €15 mil.

If you die after marrying wife 2 - she gets at least 2/3 and the remaining goes to your children. So €10 to her and €5mil to your three kids.

Being young wife 2 probably is at least pregnant by this stage so the €5 mil is shared between the 4 kids.

Ultimately when both wives die and split the estate equally between their own kids, kids 1-3 will end up with €6+mil, and kid 4 with €11+ mil.

Was this what you wanted? Did you want kids 1-3 to have €10 mil each? And kid 4 €0? Did you want wife 1 to have nothing after the divorce? Did you want to dump wife 2 with €0 when you moved on to wife 3?
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I talking about scenarios I’ve seen where the children from Marriage 1 get nothing.
 
Clamball said:
It sounds like you need a prenuptial agreement, which would lay out the state of play on both sides. Citizens advice say that a spouse is entitled to one half of the estate. This can be given up in a pre-nuptial agreement. You and your partner should get independent legal advice before you both sign a pre-nup. Once that is complete make your will and live happily ever after.

But I would agree with Allen that he has already contributed to the home in the last 8 years by paying all the household bills. It could be argued that this freed you up to make the mortgage payments. If I were advising him I would say put all the household bills in your name alone.

One question I wonder about, say you draw up a will next week leaving your house to your family. And you suddenly die in January where do you think your partner could live?
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I want my partner to live in the home until he dies with no rent to pay. He just needs to maintain the home and pay the bills. The mortgage will be clear in the next 2 years. I have worked so hard to get to where I am, and I just don't want his family getting thousands each whilst my family get nothing. If I die before him, he gets my pension, my savings, my life insurance policy and remains in our family home, but on his death, I just dont want his family getting the home.
 
That sounds very clear.

So you need your solicitor to draw up your will as you outlined above.
You need your partner to sign that they rescind half of the house in your prenuptial agreement.

Your partner needs to go to a different solicitor who will advise him on what is best for him in regards the pre-nuptial agreement.

Once both sides are happy the agreement is signed. Then your will will be valid.

It might be worthwhile getting legally married now, cost is €200 and then celebrating your marriage in a wedding ceremony in 2 years time. This makes it easier to have the pre-nup, the wedding, and the valid will in that order.

Best of luck.
 
Are these pre wedding agreements valid after death though? I thought they only applied on separation / divorce & even then they aren't legally binding here.
 
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