Hi this is a complicated situation on many levels ...your physical problem, the split up, the threats of gardai, the childrens' divided week, your retired parents.
You need special advice and direction to sort this on emotional, personal and financial fronts. There is a group called Treoir who have excellent people. Google them . There are other groups also ...One Family...Parent line....also Citizens Information could direct you .... I think you should do this tomorrow.
Good luck, take care