Throwaway555
Registered User
- Messages
- 23
Hi all just an update on how things are going in general, been a very rough time recently.
The good news is that I have about 300k invested into various decent-rate fixed term deposit accounts. They seemed an ok, and reliable, way to proceed for now and ensured that I had a maximum of 100k per bank. Some is in Luxembourg through Raisin, AIB, pTSB and then I have my 75k Zurich investment too. I am aware I have to sort out my own DIRT tax and likely PRSI at 4.1%. So all of that is good, and I got in there when interest rates were highest.
Since this thread turned into personal advice as well (I'm ok with that!), things are going reasonably well with my girlfriend. She hasn't moved in, nor have I moved out and we seem happy enough as we are for now. There is a lot of other things to consider here - she has cats which must of course be accounted for, and also had her previous boyfriend (or husband, I dunno!) committed suicide. I don't know if I have the strength to fully help someone who will need the support she does in that, or the caring shoulder but I do my best. It does worry me a bit can I give her enough, which worries me.
My parents are still doing ok but are ailing now - the garden is a mess, the house structure shows rough edges and the whole place could do with a really deep clean but is ok. My father still vetos any outside help of any description, but this is coming to a head after the week just gone.
I brought norovirus home. Despite my own very strict hygiene precautions my dad caught it two days after I brought it home. I had it for about five days, 36 hours of hell then many days of recovery as it always goes. He covered up that he had it for a day, as my mum had to be ambulanced to hospital for unrelated Parkinsons issues, and because I was bedbound he drove up to the hospital to pick her up, just as he was showing symptoms. He then took to the bed with it, but needed trips to the doctor for possible low grade melena, which is being investigated but is not serious. We're both washed out and I had to push myself to try and keep two parents cared for, not one, whilst sick. Mercifully, my mother did not get it - this is the second time its been through the house and she didn't get it then either - she attributes it to being a primary school teacher in the 60s/70s.
Anyway, we're hopefully through it but it did bring care to light though motivation to sort it out is waning already. My mum can't focus on things like that with Parkinsons, she gets too nervous of potential change and just leaves the room. So we continue. I am split three ways - work, my girlfriend, and parental care. I have said that I can only manage two of these things, but sadly all three actually need MORE of my time. Notice how I don't include "time with just myself" in those three. There just isn't any.
Work - I have precisely two potential employers in my field within a two hour drive. I work for one, I wouldn't work for the other. Public service. No WFH, no reduced hours possible.
Girlfriend - We spend most weekends together at each others places, and she comes down to mine for a night midweek with an office day thrown in.
Parents - As above!
I don't know of a solution. The Internet says that I should put my girlfriend 100% first and ease my parents aside, that a future family is more important than current one with parents. I agree, absolutely, but my experience is that such a statement is brushed aside by sheer practical reality. For instance: My dad is bedbound with norovirus, my mum can't drive anymore, who can pick up essential medicines? Who can do the shopping? Who empties the dishwasher? There is simply no-one. A carer will not do house jobs we're told, only caring for the person. I dread to think what will happen when one dies. Its very hard to see your own parents turn from sensible pensioners into stubborn, intransigent old people who demand help.
So life goes on. I feel there is an endgame there somewhere where things will break down, but quite how that will work out I don't know.
The good news is that I have about 300k invested into various decent-rate fixed term deposit accounts. They seemed an ok, and reliable, way to proceed for now and ensured that I had a maximum of 100k per bank. Some is in Luxembourg through Raisin, AIB, pTSB and then I have my 75k Zurich investment too. I am aware I have to sort out my own DIRT tax and likely PRSI at 4.1%. So all of that is good, and I got in there when interest rates were highest.
Since this thread turned into personal advice as well (I'm ok with that!), things are going reasonably well with my girlfriend. She hasn't moved in, nor have I moved out and we seem happy enough as we are for now. There is a lot of other things to consider here - she has cats which must of course be accounted for, and also had her previous boyfriend (or husband, I dunno!) committed suicide. I don't know if I have the strength to fully help someone who will need the support she does in that, or the caring shoulder but I do my best. It does worry me a bit can I give her enough, which worries me.
My parents are still doing ok but are ailing now - the garden is a mess, the house structure shows rough edges and the whole place could do with a really deep clean but is ok. My father still vetos any outside help of any description, but this is coming to a head after the week just gone.
I brought norovirus home. Despite my own very strict hygiene precautions my dad caught it two days after I brought it home. I had it for about five days, 36 hours of hell then many days of recovery as it always goes. He covered up that he had it for a day, as my mum had to be ambulanced to hospital for unrelated Parkinsons issues, and because I was bedbound he drove up to the hospital to pick her up, just as he was showing symptoms. He then took to the bed with it, but needed trips to the doctor for possible low grade melena, which is being investigated but is not serious. We're both washed out and I had to push myself to try and keep two parents cared for, not one, whilst sick. Mercifully, my mother did not get it - this is the second time its been through the house and she didn't get it then either - she attributes it to being a primary school teacher in the 60s/70s.
Anyway, we're hopefully through it but it did bring care to light though motivation to sort it out is waning already. My mum can't focus on things like that with Parkinsons, she gets too nervous of potential change and just leaves the room. So we continue. I am split three ways - work, my girlfriend, and parental care. I have said that I can only manage two of these things, but sadly all three actually need MORE of my time. Notice how I don't include "time with just myself" in those three. There just isn't any.
Work - I have precisely two potential employers in my field within a two hour drive. I work for one, I wouldn't work for the other. Public service. No WFH, no reduced hours possible.
Girlfriend - We spend most weekends together at each others places, and she comes down to mine for a night midweek with an office day thrown in.
Parents - As above!
I don't know of a solution. The Internet says that I should put my girlfriend 100% first and ease my parents aside, that a future family is more important than current one with parents. I agree, absolutely, but my experience is that such a statement is brushed aside by sheer practical reality. For instance: My dad is bedbound with norovirus, my mum can't drive anymore, who can pick up essential medicines? Who can do the shopping? Who empties the dishwasher? There is simply no-one. A carer will not do house jobs we're told, only caring for the person. I dread to think what will happen when one dies. Its very hard to see your own parents turn from sensible pensioners into stubborn, intransigent old people who demand help.
So life goes on. I feel there is an endgame there somewhere where things will break down, but quite how that will work out I don't know.