10 year old boy who tells lies!

S

Sinead..1

Guest
Hi,
I have a 10 yr old boy who is constantly telling me lies-about everything.He went 2 the shop 2day & bought icepops for his friends and he said his friend gave him the money.When I confronted the friends (I knew he was lying) they all told me he had the money. It was only E2 but thats not the point. Even when I told him I had spoken to his friends he still lied! Im absolutely sick of it. I really dont know what to do or how to handle situations like this. Im a single Mum so I dont have a partner to discuss it with. Any help in this matter would be appreciated.
 
Hi Sinead,

It is a tough situation, although i'm sure a common one. I think you are handling it well by confronting him and his friend. However, i would sit down with him and discuss the lies, explaining to him how important it is to be an honest person. Then i would agree with him a consequence for any further lies. The most important part is that when he does lie that you carry through the consequence, regardless and consistently.

Best of Luck
 
This brings up painful memories of my own thieving as an 8-9 year old child.
The older brother was sent to get me and I was interrogated by both parents.
I denied it despite it being obviously true.
I was shamed and felt shame by the whole experience.
I stole any money I could find at home for a year or so and seem to do it in a dream.No one ever spoke about it again.
Looking back I see it as the actions of a very needy and troubled child in a family in crisis.I learnt never to confide in either parent and just saw them as having more problems than I had.
I hope my experience will help you understand a little.
 
There is probably an underlying reason for his behaviour. My 9 year-old took a E20 note from my purse, changed it into coins in the school canteen and threw the lot in the air in the playground!

His teacher called me at work to tell me what had happened and asked me not to give him so much money as it was causing problems at school. When I said I hadn't given it to him, she was shocked as he was a 'good kid'.

When we got home that day I asked him why he had done it and, in floods of tears, he told me that he just wanted to be really popular for 1 day! He felt his friends weren't real friends and he was sometimes left out and this was the surefire way to get back in again.

We talked about the trust issue and how valuable it is to be trusted by Mum, Dad, family and friends. His attitude has changed completely and he now takes his pocket money from my purse every week and understands that I trust him to do so and is very proud of the fact that he's a trusted family member.

I also took him to a car boot sale to help him realise the value of money and how to make money for himself by caring for his possessions in order to re-sell them at a later stage.

I hope things work out for you with your son - they probably will - this is just one of those blips in his young life that will soon be forgotten.
 
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