I'd agree with Vanilla. Whilst I know mine is a different situation, it is non the less an analogy. My mother is seriously ill, with so many different complaints, resulting from the treatment, of the original illness. Therefore, when we go to see the hospital for visits to her consultant, it is up to me to go with her and listen and take everything in. Also, she doesn't remember things as well as she used to, so I also give the consultant any information he requires. There is never a problem and no one ever gives me grief that I go along and go in for all her tests (including some I really don't want to!) with her. I think they are being unreasonable, but maybe at some stage someone they knew got into trouble and they are just covering their ass. Perhaps if you went in with your daughter, the way I do with my mother, for all discussions and have your daughter say, "this is my mother, I want her here", you will find out more. Not only that, but the staff will recognise you and be more helpful (fingers crossed) and forthcoming in the future.
Hope the baby is well again soon and it all works out.