Working full time with baby 280 a week-worth it?

moneygrower said:
holy cow buzybee are you protestant or something??? Why on earth would you're family think you are available to do chores because you have one day at home with your little one and have your own chores to catch up on? It's hardly a day in bed eating chocs and watching oprah!
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People do though.
'Oh, you're off on Fridays aren't you. Would you be able to give me a lift to Homebase to collect a new locker I've bought for the spare room?'

'You couldn't collect the kids from school and hang on to them for half an hour? I'm after getting delayed at the dentist and won't be home until two'.

I know this is also a problem for people who work from home and are deemed to be 'available' for requests for lifts etc.
 
Why don't you just give up working and be a full-time parent?
It sounds like you don't need the money. And sounds like you don't enjoy the job much at the moment.
 
Not protestant but our family have a v strong work ethic. You always have to be seen to 'be DOING something'. Mother still works full time, father a farmer. You could never sit inside and watch TV of a fine summer evening. You would have to be out doing something, or weeding if there was nothing else to do. I particularly resented this when I was in my early 20s and working. I felt that when I was finished work, and when the necessary household tasks were done, my time should be my own. I used to love when it was raining & the winter evenings cos I would get a rest and we could just do inside tasks/watch TV:)

I don't want the appearance of working part time cos my father always has a job for everyone. I could have to help with some of the farm work, or go to town to collect something. Our house is only over the road from theirs so they can see the car. Also they can be quite scornful of someone with only one child choosing to work less hours, and think that I am wasteful and lazy. If there is a euro to be made, one should be seen to go after it.

I think it better to take an odd day/half day here and there, and not to have a certain day off every week. If they think you are doing nothing or heavens above enjoying yourself, they will find something for you to do.

I wouldn't mind helping out if I had no job, but I would hate to give up a day of work, be earning less money and not even having the free time to show for it.

I hope to look for the 2 wks summer parental leave (when creche is closed). This will mean that I can keep most of the 20 days hols for if LO is unwell, or to take a stray day off here and there.

I find it OK to work up flexi time, but I have to be up and out early in morning. Am at work at 8.30, take half hour for lunch, leaving work before 5. I feel I have to be v disciplined regarding only taking half hour for lunch. I don't have the opportunity to work up loads of flexi in one day as I have to be out of work before 5.
 
You are being way too hard on yourself. There is no way you should feel wasteful or lazy for wanting some free time.

I am single and have no children and still make sure I have enough time off. It is all about choices, there are times I stay late in the office (I like my job) but I make sure I have enough time off as well. I actually left a job because the long commute and long hours were making me miserable and just thought cant do this, wont do this.

Also, while I love my 2 little nieces, I make sure I am not dumped upon as babysitter and am not afraid to say no there either. There is a bit of looking after my mam and dad, both separated and elderly, have to be brought shopping Saturdays and such like, but still.

What is LO, by the way?

You dont need to account for your time to your family and should not feel guilty in that regard.
 
Now is exactly the time you should be either looking for a career break, parental leave, part-time, short-time or whatever package it comes in.

You have a baby, for the next few years any time you can spend with them is precious. Before you know it, they will be going to school, and then it will be one great speeding train until they no longer need you or want to spend time with you.

I work four days now and find it great. It really breaks up the week. Now that mine are school going also it means that I have some idea what goes on there, I feel involved. I get so much done on my day off that the weekends are much easier. And actually if you work a four day week, that is still considered full time, so if it were me I might not necessarily feel disposed to declaring a change in status to the world ( or family if they were disapproving, although mine aren't at all).:)

I feel fresh when I am working, I am motivated- I get to the office early and work well, I get through more work than other people who work full time. In fact, at the moment I am doing the work of 2.5 people ( it's complicated) and do not feel overly stretched. Yes, I'm busy, but I like that.

There is still no 'me time' as some people call it, as I have much to do on my day 'off' but I have to say I am happier and more relaxed. I think once you become a parent, if your child is happier, you are too. And more time spent with you means they are happier.
 
How can anyone think that looking after a small baby counts as being ´lazy´? How can spending time with your own child during their precious and fleeting babyhood be ¨wasteful´? Why are you having to even think of justifying being 60 quid down a week to your hubby when you have savings of 60 grand? Let your parents think what they like, let them grumble when they ´find things for you to do´and get a firm ´no, I can´t do that, I am taking the baby to mother and toddler group/for a walk/playground/reading to her/snuggling up for a nap with her´. You and your hubby are your own nuclear family now, your parent´s opinions of what you do with your time are irrelevant. You are on a combined income of nearly 90 grand, you have significant equity in another property, you have fantastic savings built up, you have a little baby who you are dying to spend time with, you specifically gave up a more financially rewarding career to join an organisation which has family friendly policies - so just do it!!
 
Buzybee - youre definitely being way too hard on yourself. Of course youre entitled to free time. You have to learn to stand up to your own family and just say no. If youre asked to do something because someone 'percieves' you as having free time, just say that you are spending quality time with your child, or catching up on chores, or otherwise busy at something that YOU enjoy doing.

I spend a LOT of time reading. Id go bananas if I didnt. Its my 'thing' that I do to unwind.

I wouldnt give a fiddlers about someone (family or not) being scornful of me because of the life choices I make. Its my life, they can live theirs the way they choose, and Ill live mine the way I choose and if they dont like my lifestyle - tough. Thats the attitude you need to take. You have to look after number 1.
Would your family prefer to see you stressed and overworked and feeling miserable? I dont think so.
 
+1 to the last 4 replies. As my husband would tell me: "You need to grow a pair"!

A.
 
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