This situation is very simple.
He's testing the market - trying to see if he can "trade up" to what he considers to be a better model. He's not really into his current partner and is looking for something better. Maybe he's one of those people who doesnt like being single, so even if he's not mad about who he's with, he'll stay with them until something better comes along.
If he does manage to get something better, his current girlfriend will get the marching orders. If he doesn't, he'll accept his lot........for now. Essentially, he's got one eye on the door.
I am not in any way suggesting that the OPs friend is an inferior model - a lot of guys can have strange tastes in women and one persons better model is anothers leftovers. The OPs friend should remember that this is not her fault - if he's not happy with his relationship and wants to date other people, he should be up front and honest about it instead of stringing her along.
He's testing the market - trying to see if he can "trade up" to what he considers to be a better model. He's not really into his current partner and is looking for something better. Maybe he's one of those people who doesnt like being single, so even if he's not mad about who he's with, he'll stay with them until something better comes along.
If he does manage to get something better, his current girlfriend will get the marching orders. If he doesn't, he'll accept his lot........for now. Essentially, he's got one eye on the door.
I am not in any way suggesting that the OPs friend is an inferior model - a lot of guys can have strange tastes in women and one persons better model is anothers leftovers. The OPs friend should remember that this is not her fault - if he's not happy with his relationship and wants to date other people, he should be up front and honest about it instead of stringing her along.
From WikiAnswers -
What is cheating in a relationship?
"It's any action that is contrary to the stated or implied commitments of the relationship. If there is a stated or implied exclusive nature of the relationship, then any behavior that violates the exclusive nature of that relationship is cheating. On the other hand, if nobody has made promises, commitments or in any way suggested an exclusive relationship, there can be no cheating."
As the relationship has been going on for 3 years, my advice now would be to hand him over to the "randomer" as quick as possible, before he decides he would like to stay after all!
What is cheating in a relationship?
"It's any action that is contrary to the stated or implied commitments of the relationship. If there is a stated or implied exclusive nature of the relationship, then any behavior that violates the exclusive nature of that relationship is cheating. On the other hand, if nobody has made promises, commitments or in any way suggested an exclusive relationship, there can be no cheating."
As the relationship has been going on for 3 years, my advice now would be to hand him over to the "randomer" as quick as possible, before he decides he would like to stay after all!
Sounds like the rendevous may have been orchastrated in order to force the issues he feel are in the relationship out into the open as a short sharp shock rather than by discussing them and maybe if he is as spineless as he sounds to have his GF make the decision to end the relationship?
Its not uncommon for people to re-evaluate their relationships and life in general when there is a drastic change in their personal finances either upward or downward as it places important issues in sharp focus where they may have been glossed over previously. Her response and final decision should be based on his general behaviour and demeanour toward her and commitment to the relationship rather than focusing on the events of the one night, it is irrelevant now if it were cheating or not as his response to being 'caught' has opened a can of worms.
Yes this is most definitely cheating. He is unhappy in his relationship and is suiting himself. I usually find that when one person leaves a long term relationship, they more often than not have a new one already set up on the side. He was just unlucky to have been found out. As another poster said, let the randomer have him. From what I have read, both he and that relationship are not worth fighting for.
Bubbly Scot
Registered User
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As a general rule of thumb I consider anything you can't tell your significant other is cheating. I arrange coffee and lunch with guys fairly frequently, admittedly mostly work related but I have a few male friends. Im always comfortable enough to tell Mr Bubbly and it's not different to meeting my girl friends.
I'd agree with everyone else, he doesn't sound like a keeper to me, loved the "be greatful I didn't do anything else"
oh yeah, what a catch!
I'd agree with everyone else, he doesn't sound like a keeper to me, loved the "be greatful I didn't do anything else"
oh yeah, what a catch!shootingstar
Registered User
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sorry but if i discovered the love of my life had secretly met another woman i'd probably spontaneously combust with anger.
(after i'd used his precious digger to bury him 20 feet under and backfilled the hole with his darling motorbike and all his belongings.) Then i'd plant a rose called "lying eyes" on the top.
the reality would be i'd be utterly devestated and would lose all trust in him. i couldn't forgive that.
That should get QUOTE OF THE WEEK...
I think that now would be a good time to leave him in this' low period of his life' to contemplate his poor life!!!
Life is too short for dealing with people like this. Tell your friend to put a price on herself and depart without any further discussion with her head high. She shouldn't waste time trying to work out this guy's complicated thoughT processes. I have no doubt he is a shallow pool so let him drown himself in his thoughtlessness and hypocrisy!!!
In fact she, like all women, should try to have the last word....always essential.... and thank him on the way out for clarifying for her the many doubts she has had over the years.
Men are like buses, there's always another one on the way!!!
From Married 28 years today!!!!
Life is too short for dealing with people like this. Tell your friend to put a price on herself and depart without any further discussion with her head high. She shouldn't waste time trying to work out this guy's complicated thoughT processes. I have no doubt he is a shallow pool so let him drown himself in his thoughtlessness and hypocrisy!!!
In fact she, like all women, should try to have the last word....always essential.... and thank him on the way out for clarifying for her the many doubts she has had over the years.
Men are like buses, there's always another one on the way!!!
From Married 28 years today!!!!