Wedding Reception- Staff Gratuities ? How Much? To Whom ?

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battyee

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Need some advice on what you should do by way of tipping staff at a wedding party. When I asked the Event Manager she told me that the package is inclusive of service but that most clients give a gratuity to the person in charge at the end of the evening & that this can be distributed amongst the staff. What % is expected & can I be sure that a cash amount handed over to the "gaffer" will be passed on & in a fair way?
 
you are paying for the service so no additional gratuity is required. If the company supplying the catering/event etc want to pay their staff more then let them, but there is absolutley no obligation on you to give them extra. We had the same issue at our wdding and I refused to provide an extra gratuity as we were already payin g+€20k for the whole gig. Check out discussions on www.weddingsonline.ie as I am sure they will have somehting on it
 
If you do decide to give a gratuity just check it will actually be given to the staff. My daughter works in a hotel where gratuities are collected and used to be distributed to staff but for the past few years the owner has decided to donate the money to charity or towards the staff christmas party. This would be fine if the staff had agreed but there were no discussions he just decided on the change in policy.
 
battyee said:
When I asked the Event Manager she told me that the package is inclusive of service but that most clients give a gratuity to the person in charge at the end of the evening & that this can be distributed amongst the staff.
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thats crazy - the reason service is included when there is a large party (be it a wedding or a Christmas party) is that people normally don't tip in these situations. Go back to them and ask them how they distribute the service charge with the catering staff as I reckon you may find it ends up in the hotel coffers.
I'm not against tipping as I worked in the catering business for years.
 
I would be of the view that while you can get an idea now of what an acceptable tip is, you should wait until the day itself to decide whether it's deserved, or even if you want to add more to it. When staff work hard to look after your wedding party on the day, (and most of them do indeed provide incredible service), they deserve a decent tip; but if you find yourself in the unlikely situation where service is poor, then I think that should be reflected in the tip also.

If staff are doing a great job, a nice touch would be for the Bride or Groom to enthusiasticaly ask for a standing ovation for the staff at the end of the meal... believe me, it would mean a lot to them!
 
I agree that gratuities can be passed only to those who are front of house and the background staff (kitchen etc) dont really see any of it. Ask if there is a staff fund with a seperate bank account so that you can donate directly. If not, a round of drinks for the staff at the end of the evening is also a nice touch. Ask the catering/banqueting manager who is on duty that day and get him/her to arrange it. I have also seen in the past the bride & groom go into the kitchen at the end of the night and thank the staff directly. This could be co-ordinated with the round of drinks. Most importantly have a great day.
 
battyee said:
the package is inclusive of service but that most clients give a gratuity to the person in charge at the end of the evening & that this can be distributed amongst the staff.
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To be honest, I would pay nothing above and beyond the "service-inclusive" hotel bill.
 
battyee said:
When I asked the Event Manager she told me that the package is inclusive of service but that most clients give a gratuity to the person in charge at the end of the evening & that this can be distributed amongst the staff.
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The package is inclusive of service - theres your answer - you are already paying for service, you do not need to tip on top of that.
Naturally the event manager is going to tell you that 'most' clients tip - I wouldnt pay extra on top on an inclusive service charge.
 
If the service wasn't up to scratch on the day could you refuse to pay the built in service charge?
 
If the service wasn't up to scratch on the day could you refuse to pay the built in service charge?
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Of course you can!! A group of us ate in a Thai in Dublin & the service was appalling from start to finish - even the manager was rude (actually trying to insist one of the members of the group eat the wrong dish). But, the food was lovely...so we refused to pay the service and only paid for the food and drink.
 
Personally I think weddings are expensive enough without having to start tip the staff, in fact I think they are way overpriced.
 
I don't want to sound mean but I just don't understand the tipping thing. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. We all do a job, why should some get tipped and some not? In my line of work for example, I'm not allowed take gifts of any kind. It seems a bit patronising to me. I'd rather just pay more for a service so the person gets properly paid.

In this case, you're paying for the service at your wedding (no small amount either!) and you are paying for the staff to work to the best of their ability. I just don't understand why tips should come into it at all - it's not like in the States where waiting staff are paid buttons.
 
Agreed, while tipping certainly isn't widespread in this country I think (imo) that Irish people tend to tip without regard for the quality of service received.

In this case, if the cost already includes a service charge then I would not be inclined to add another gratuity....it might make sense to inquire as to how the service charge you are paying is divided amongst the staff.

This is an interesting thread and I would be interested to hear people's feedback in general to tipping in Ireland.


gnubbit said:
I don't want to sound mean but I just don't understand the tipping thing. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. We all do a job, why should some get tipped and some not? In my line of work for example, I'm not allowed take gifts of any kind. It seems a bit patronising to me. I'd rather just pay more for a service so the person gets properly paid.

In this case, you're paying for the service at your wedding (no small amount either!) and you are paying for the staff to work to the best of their ability. I just don't understand why tips should come into it at all - it's not like in the States where waiting staff are paid buttons.
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Tipping should be recognition of good service. It should not be mandatory. In Ireland 10% is acceptable. It's morphed into this monster though where employers can get away without paying employees a fair wage because the customers are in effect subsidising the business. If I've an issue or the service is rubbish I don't tip. Certainly in this wedding scenario I'd tip bar staff and people bringing over drinks as I'm paying a smaller bill but I find the idea of tipping the staff doing their jobs at my own wedding bizarre or even vulgar.
 
my daughter worked part time on the school holidays waitressing in one of our local hotels she never earned the minimum wage and was very glad of any tips which were few and far between.
one bridal couple gave each and every member of staff a thank you card with €10 inside and a big tin of sweets was left in the kitchen.they were all delighted.
my brother in law held his wedding reception in the same hotel and when he paid for the day he gave a tip of €300 to be divided among the staff and my daughter said this money must have kept by management because it was never mentioned to any of the staff.
so if you are giving anything give it directly to the staff
 
tech3 said:
my daughter worked part time on the school holidays waitressing in one of our local hotels she never earned the minimum wage and was very glad of any tips which were few and far between
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A very serious allegation. Are you sure she wasn't earning the minimum wage for a minor? They can work limited hours and the minimum wage is lower. Customers should not be subsidising employers and I personally don't believe tipping hotel staff at your own wedding is appropriate. Giving the hotel the significant amount of business and helping preserve their jobs should be enough. A line has to be drawn somewhere.
 
I got a great bit of advice from a mate in the catering industry when I got married 8 years ago. He suggested I meet the head chef at least 3 or 4 days before the wedding day and slip him a few quid. I did exactly that. I gave him IR£100 and whispered "make sure everybody is well fed on the day".

And that's exactly what happened. The food was exceptional and everyone was delighted.

I have advised many others to do likewise and it has never failed.
 
Hillsalt said:
I got a great bit of advice from a mate in the catering industry when I got married 8 years ago. He suggested I meet the head chef at least 3 or 4 days before the wedding day and slip him a few quid. I did exactly that. I gave him IR£100 and whispered "make sure everybody is well fed on the day".

And that's exactly what happened. The food was exceptional and everyone was delighted.

I have advised many others to do likewise and it has never failed.
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I just don't get this. Are you not paying to get a decent meal anyway? Why should you have to tip to get what you're already paying for?

In fact, is it not a bit offensive to assume that unless you tip you're not going to get quality service. I would have hoped the chef had a bit of pride in his profession and would want to do a great job anyway.
 
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