Wedding Costs

[liaconn]

So whats your problem? Either give them what they want or don't give them anything. If they are offended after you making the effort to go to their big day, thats their problem, not yours.

Not everyone feels capable of taking this 'hard line'. Whether you agree with their feelings or not, the fact is that requesting cash instead of gifts embarasses some people into spending more than they can afford or forces people to turn down an invite because they can't afford a cash present . Personally, I would hate to feel I'd put my guests in this position, it obviously wouldn't bother you. We'll have to agree to differ on this one.

 

[casiopea]

I actually heard about this on another site. Think the bridesmaid dresses were from Coast. I'd be fairly happy for the heads up to be honest as would be a bit morto if I was wearing the same as the bridesmaids! I would take no offence to it whatsoever.

I agree. As a woman, you'd really appreciate being told where to avoid so you (a guest) dont show up looking like a bridesmaid. Imagine paying for a good new dress in an expensive shop like Coast and you show up as a reject bridesmaid or worse in the same dress as the Bride. Thats a savvy considerate bride (issueing that warning) - not a bridezilla.

When DH and I got married we had to deal with what is normal in swiss culture and in irish culture regarding gifts. Over here things like cash gifts and wedding lists are not as common as at home so we didnt include any lists or requests. What really surprised me however was the amount of Irish guests that requested to give a cash gift. Even friends my own age contacted me asking me would I mind if they "just" gave money (of course I didnt mind)! I think 80% of our irish guests gave cash gifts. So while people may think its tacky to request a cash gifts - it does seem to be the preferred way to give a gift for a wedding.