To work or not to work , baby due , what to do ! !

But 'mother' is just a word.
The father and mother can physically, practically and emotionally do all the same things. To suggest that they can't really lets down men and lessens the need for them, almost marginalising them within the home.

I know as my OH has to do everything too. With twins, I don't have the eight arms required to 'mother' them both all the time :)
 
sandrat said:
be careful what you wish for, there is a reason men have nipples afterall
[broken link removed]
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This post will be deleted if not edited immediately! It's only a matter of time before TV3 dedicate an hour to this topic!!
 
it might be an and finally on the news anyway, apparently taking too much motilium can make men leak so if you want to help your wife out give that a go first!
 
Hi truthseeker,

When i spoke about binge drinking it was in the context of what has equality done for women, As far as I can see women seem more stressed and unappreciated than ever before.They are still predominately judged by their beauty and not their capabilities so wheres the Equality.My argument is that the equality of the sexes has not just brought positive aspects to womens lives but also many negative aspects. We now feel that in order to be taken seriously we must behave like men. Men do many wonderful things in this world but they also are responsible for a great deal of misery and I do not want to be equal to a man. I want to be valued and respected for who I am regardless of gender.
 
jubi said:
Hi truthseeker,

When i spoke about binge drinking it was in the context of what has equality done for women, As far as I can see women seem more stressed and unappreciated than ever before.They are still predominately judged by their beauty and not their capabilities so wheres the Equality.My argument is that the equality of the sexes has not just brought positive aspects to womens lives but also many negative aspects. We now feel that in order to be taken seriously we must behave like men. Men do many wonderful things in this world but they also are responsible for a great deal of misery and I do not want to be equal to a man. I want to be valued and respected for who I am regardless of gender.
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Im not sure in what context you mean women are still predominately judged by beauty, certainly in my job Im judged on my skills, no matter how I look (so long as I am clean and presentable).
Even in a dating context people tend to be judged on a myriad of factors, it seems a little over simplified to assume that ANY gender is judged solely on looks (no matter what the context).

Do you not think that there are now women who have more choices available to them because they can earn their own money (if they want to?).

I dont understand why you think that women are more stressed now (seems like a big generalisation), my own mother didnt work after marraige was and always stressed! I think that depends on the individual and not whether or not they work.

Of course equality has brought some negative aspects, but I would say the positives outweigh the negatives in terms of evening the playing field between men and women.

Women are also responsible for a lot of misery - its 'people' who create misery, not necessarily one gender or another.
 
jubi said:
Men do many wonderful things in this world but they also are responsible for a great deal of misery and I do not want to be equal to a man. I want to be valued and respected for who I am regardless of gender.
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I'm sure you mean that you don't want to be the same as men, but you do want to be equal to them.
 
Sorry Purple,

I have far higher aspirations than been equal to a man. I learnt at an early age that men in general need a lot of guidance I don't need any. lol tongue in cheek
 
jubi said:
Guess who criticize women for staying at home, OTHER women not men.
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Yes, and guess who critise women for going back to work, also other women.
Why should we care so long as we are happy with our own decisions ?
 
Thrifty 1

I am not critizizing women who work, I am being an advocate for voiceless babies and children who are taken out of their warm beds on a winters morning at 6 am to tie in with their parents busy scedules and then left to cry and not given one to one attention which studies show is crucial at least in the first 2 years. Somebody needs to start taking notice of these studies.
When did society begin to disintegrate when mothers decided that they wanted it all.
 
Ok Diziet
Explain to me why there is no correlation between children been reared by other people and the society we live in today. We are continuously striving for bigger and better things at the expense of our children so please give me some other reasons why society is falling to bits. Our children see us not taking responsibilty for them and figure why should they take responsibilty for the choices they make.
 
jubi said:
Ok Diziet
Explain to me why there is no correlation between children been reared by other people and the society we live in today. We are continuously striving for bigger and better things at the expense of our children so please give me some other reasons why society is falling to bits. Our children see us not taking responsibilty for them and figure why should they take responsibilty for the choices they make.
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In order to find correlation, you need to state your hypothesis, and the factors that you are testing for, and exclude other contributing factors. I do not have evidence of correlation either way, and I would venture that neither do you.

What you have is an opinion. Everyone has these.
 
In my masters degree I did a thesis on the effects of taking the mother out of the home and the effect this has had on criminality in society. I garnered information from 2 15 year studies carried out in England and a 10 year study carried out in America. Children in the English study were followed up from the age of 2 years of age until 22 years of age. 80% of children who were put into creches for longer than 6 hours per day were more likely to take risks likely to endanger themselves and others around them. Be more aggressive at school. 62% were seen to have taken hard drugs and astonishingly 72% had broken the law. The main crime being actual bodily harm and substance abuse. The Psychologists concluded from talking to these participants that been separated from their mother at an early age ie before 2 years of age had learnt not to trust people, to feel isolated in their own problems because they opined that nobody cared about them. They further spoke of feeling abandoned and not feeling secure. I know studies can also show the opposite but you asked me how I could make the statement i did. Please can you tell me why you think it is ok to put any child in a creche for up to 10 hours a day, please tell me how this benefits a baby. I am so not getting it.
 
Jaybird
Please please answer my final question regarding babies in creches and also read the attachment theory put forward by bowlby and Lorenzos excellent work about bonding and how a child between the age of 6 weeks to 2 years needs a constant primary carer to be there for them. With regard to the study cited earlier there was a 150 children followed from childcare and 150 children minded by their mothers. Further if you read my posts regarding binge drinking I was merely pointing out that equality between the sexes has led to women feeling that they have to be like men in their drinking habits. I was therefore surmising that woman also feel they have to contribute financially whilst raising their children in order to have parity with men. PLEASE READ ALL MY POSTS. I truly am concerned for children that go to creches and feel that their welfare is being compromised so please stop attacking me.
 
what happens to triplets when the primary carer is only there one third of the time? all taking drugs and robbing cars are they? I know plenty of stay at home mothers around me who dont work but get "the social" and they leave their kids (some as young as 2) to their own devices to play on the road on their bikes and trikes, these kids would be better off in a creche.
 
jubi said:
In my masters degree I did a thesis on the effects of taking the mother out of the home and the effect this has had on criminality in society. I garnered information from 2 15 year studies carried out in England and a 10 year study carried out in America. Children in the English study were followed up from the age of 2 years of age until 22 years of age. 80% of children who were put into creches for longer than 6 hours per day were more likely to take risks likely to endanger themselves and others around them. Be more aggressive at school. 62% were seen to have taken hard drugs and astonishingly 72% had broken the law. The main crime being actual bodily harm and substance abuse. The Psychologists concluded from talking to these participants that been separated from their mother at an early age ie before 2 years of age had learnt not to trust people, to feel isolated in their own problems because they opined that nobody cared about them. They further spoke of feeling abandoned and not feeling secure. I know studies can also show the opposite but you asked me how I could make the statement i did. Please can you tell me why you think it is ok to put any child in a creche for up to 10 hours a day, please tell me how this benefits a baby. I am so not getting it.
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References?

As you are (possibly) aware, the study population, and the way the study is conducted is central to interpretation of the results. Did you look at studies that showed the positive effects of early child care too?

I still think that what you have is an opinion, not a scientific fact. And of course you are entitled to your opinion. If you want to argue with stats, you have to present your arguments a lot more coherently and leave emotion out of it.
 
jubi said:
Sorry Purple,

I have far higher aspirations than been equal to a man. I learnt at an early age that men in general need a lot of guidance I don't need any.
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Some women use that attitude to make a load of money (from men who agree with you :)) but I'm not sure if that sort of thing is legal in this country ;)
 
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