Sisters Hen night - I want to make it special

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dmos87

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Looking for some advice from others who have arranged hen / Stag nights. My wonderful sister is getting married in Dec 2011. This sister has asked me to be Maid of Honor and Im so excited to do it for her. I'm really taking it seriously as she is only having me - no other bridemaids (I have 6 sisters so we cant have all without looking silly).

My biggest job is of course THE HEN NIGHT.... I want to make it special as (in theory) you only get one! We have gone over numbers (16 in total including MOB and MOG) and my sister has said anything goes as long as its not tacky. Said sister LOVES travelling and so I was thinking of doing something abroad with all 16 people.... perhaps renting a villa somewhere for a weekend? Her friends love the idea and I would imagine if we could get flights for cheap, we could get accommodation cheaply because of numbers (maybe 2 villas between all 16?)

If anyone can give me any tips or advice on places they have gone I would really appreciate it. I would like somewhere sunny for her for 2 nights and 3 days, preferably somewhere cheap to fly from Dublin (sister lives there, the rest can drive up).
 
Maybe I'm a bit of an old fogey, but if I got an invite for the male equivalent of this, it would really be a huge burden, between the time and cost involved (even with cheap flights). Are you sure there is the appetite and budget available for this extravagance?
 
Hi there... I think that the venue is less important than having friends/family there. Personally i changed the date of my hen so my two best freinds could come - no way was i having a hen without them! Maybe have a straw poll to see who would be available if you went away - that might help you make a decision? Also talk to your sister about what would like.
Good luck!
 
I must say I agree with complainer in that expecting all the 16 people to spend money flying to a villa for a weekend away could be asking too much. Some people find the cost of a wedding an expensive day out without asking them to go away for the hen. Personally I think the Hen is all about having those closest to you there (as k&d said) and so what is wrong with a day out or evening out nearer to home and on a lower budget for the ladies invited?
 
All in all anything I am pricing seems to be coming in at less than 150 per person - thats for flights, transport and accommodation. Personally I dont think thats bad at all - I had to pay 135 euros for one nights stay in Killarney for a friends Hen night (this covered hotel and a meal - 3 people to a room). We all had to make our own way to Killarney and home also so that didnt factor in petrol or the night out after the meal.

My sister doesnt drink so the "normal" hen night is not going to work for her. She has also mentioned that she doesnt want any banners, etc. so I think a weekend somewhere is the best way to go.

All in all her number is 16 people - 6 of those are her sisters, 1 is her mother, 1 is her mother in law, the rest are her close friends and herself. I am planning on emailing around a year in advance to see how people feel about it and to ensure people are available to travel. I have spoken with her friends and my sisters and they are all delighted with the idea. My rule of thumb is to keep it below 150 euros per head.

So yes everyone, I have considered the cost for people and with a years notice I am sure everyone will find 150 euros affordable - the average night out in Ireland now to a club would be at least 100 euros anyway.

Back to my question; has anyone done this before? Could they recommend somewhere?
 
Because it is december, presume hen in Oct/Nov, then the canaries, cheap as chips and sunny that time of year, so it would be more like a holiday for people to look forward to.

Just to say also, you will have to remember also, it is before xmas, people have a lot of expenses. If you find a holiday weekend away for €150 please let us know. I will head there myself.
 
dmos87 said:
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So yes everyone, I have considered the cost for people and with a years notice I am sure everyone will find 150 euros affordable
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The real cost will be a long way off €150. If you add in food/drink for the weekend, travel to/from airports at either end, the obligatory new outfit(s) for the participating ladies, they will be lucky to have any change back from €500.

And if they are then facing the cost of another new outfit for the wedding, plus present, plus babysitter, possibly plus a hotel overnight, it will be costing them €1k overall.

Hope it goes well for you.
 
Financially it sounds like quite a burden for those involved. Its definitely going to cost people over 500 euro a head. However, what always gives me more problems than the finances when asked to something like this is the time itself. Time is far more valuable to me than money and having to use holiday days to attend hens/weddings is always the area where I really feel it - travelling too far also takes away from time spent enjoying the hens itself.

If your sister doesnt drink would you not be better off going to some hotel in Ireland where you dont need people to take time off work to go, and doing something alternative like a murder mystery weekend? It could work out cheaper (in terms of time and money), and give people something to focus on rather than just a booze up.
 
Complainer said:
The real cost will be a long way off €150. If you add in food/drink for the weekend, travel to/from airports at either end, the obligatory new outfit(s) for the participating ladies, they will be lucky to have any change back from €500.

And if they are then facing the cost of another new outfit for the wedding, plus present, plus babysitter, possibly plus a hotel overnight, it will be costing them €1k overall.

Hope it goes well for you.
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Have to agree here, I hate to be invited to Hen nights, costs a fortune!. If you are asking around then why don't you ask for suggestions then you go with the majority and what they want. Ask everybody for 2-3 suggestions of what they would consider a good Hen night and take it from there. Usually in these situations people don't want to be the ones to say no so they go along with it!. Complainer is bang on, any hen night I have been to has cost me a fortune, accommodation, outfit, lots of alcohol, breakfast, dinner, taxis etc then the wedding outfit, gift to the couple, stay in hotel etc You would be very lucky to get out of all that under a grand imo.
 
I know you asked around and her friends said they were okay with the idea, but they may have felt in an awkward position. Or they may have said 'yes, fine' while really thinking 'I've loads of time to sort out an excuse not to go'. I think, in the current climate, it's a bit unfair to expect people to splash out on a hens night abroad. As other people have said, by the time you factor in food, entertainment, taxis etc it will run to several hundred euro.
 
and why has a hen night become a hen weekend?? even more expense involved. and by having it abroad you are removing the option for people to just go along on one of the nights if it were in Ireland at least they could do that. So your sister doesn't drink, why not book a nice venue for Afternoon Tea, like in Dublin they have Afternoon Tea in the Westin or in Harvey Nichols Dundrum, a really fun day out and the ladies who drink could have Champagne Afternoon Tea. I agree the pressure was probably on the girls to say Yes, especially if it's their sister! But as Maid of Honour you can decide to be fairer and cheaper and put no financial pressure on.
 
Thanks everyone for the honest opinions. I should let people here know though that my sister is 24 and lives in Dublin - all those attending the hen night appart from MOB and MOG are around the same age. I also have to factor in that two of our sisters are and will be under 18 ( 17 & 15) at the time of the hen so I need to avoid any place that serves alcohol in general, not just because of the bride to be.

I know she loves travelling and I thought that would make it special for her, plus it would be a nice break for everyone in Oct/Nov time. Not to mention that after doing some research into it, there are a few villas in Malaga, etc. that once divided by 15 people (to cover btb's expense as well) accommodation only comes to about 50 odd euros each for a two night weekend - I cant even find a hotel in Ireland that will match that rate. Again, all this depends on the cheap flights and I will have to wait another few months before the airlines start posting costs for that time. I have already checked costs of bus transport to and from said locations and we are looking at about a tenner a head total for both trips to and from the airport.

See, I'm also caught because while my sister lives in Dublin, half of her friends live in Cork, and the other half live in Dublin. If I do something in either place, some people are going to be annoyed at travelling. I know the sisters would be happy to travel to Dublin because obviously its a special night but there would be more friends travelling from Cork than Dublin. At least if both have to travel it would be fair and we would car share.

From the presents side of things, she has told her friends no wedding gifts as she has no need for them. They have a house, all bits and pieces are already bought. She just wants everyone to come, have a good time and enjoy themselves at both the wedding and hen night.

My rationing for going abroad was that people (an easy example being her Cork friends) would easily drop that kind of money here in Ireland on an average night out. I thought people might feel they are getting something for their money by going somewhere abroad.

I see where ye are coming from (outfits, booze, food, etc.). I must ponder on this a bit more...perhaps I can put on the invitations that its an "oldschool" hen night, i.e. wear something you have worn before on a night out with the Bride to Be?? I dont know. Its a lot to think about. All I want is for her to have a good time, and I can see her face already in my head if I do the average night out in Ireland - bored and irritated and disappointed...I really dont want that.
 
fizzelina said:
why not book a nice venue for Afternoon Tea, like in Dublin they have Afternoon Tea in the Westin or in Harvey Nichols Dundrum, a really fun day out and the ladies who drink could have Champagne Afternoon Tea. .
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Fizzelina, thank you for the idea but honestly, would you be happy with this as your hen night? I'm not a mad party one at all but even I would be a bit upset at this...it sounds very dull for a young Bride to Be. She doesnt drink, that doesnt make her 80 odd!! We (her sisters and her friends) want to give her a good send off and a night she will remember.
 
Who's going to pay for your young sisters to go, your Mother? Is she o.k. with that.

With booking a villa, I can't see a villa owner agreeing to give it to you for a random night rather than a week. Also people will say they will go, you'll book (&pay) on that basis then back out. You'll end up paying their share too.

What about a day/night at a spa? At least you know how much it's going to cost. Or just have a party at home? Get a tarot reader for a bit of fun or a couple of beauticians to do facials or nails.
 
I agree with the rest of the posters that by the time everyone had paid for getting to the airport, eating in the airport, the flight,the villa, a taxi to the villa, eating out for 3 days and a taxi back to the airport etc, etc, a budget of 150 is dreaming, 500 is more likely.

If you want a different hen weekend in Ireland, I would recommend Causey Farm
near Kells in Meath. Its a great laugh.

causey.ie/hen-parties/
 
dmos87 said:
Fizzelina, thank you for the idea but honestly, would you be happy with this as your hen night? I'm not a mad party one at all but even I would be a bit upset at this...it sounds very dull for a young Bride to Be. She doesnt drink, that doesnt make her 80 odd!! We (her sisters and her friends) want to give her a good send off and a night she will remember.
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My reason for suggesting it is that a friend's friend did it in London for her Hen and the girls spent the whole day having a laugh (and cocktails later on). In the hotels there Afternoon Tea is popular with groups of girls. Check out the Pret a Portea designer afternoon tea in The Berkeley. But I take your point that you think it sounds dull. With sisters under 18 they are not allowed be in a licenced premises at night (correct me if I'm wrong) and your sister doesn't drink so maybe a day out would be a better option? Would you consider flying to London first thing Sat morn (Cork girls could fly from Cork and Dublin girls from Dublin and meet at airport) and go to a Sat matinee show in the West End, have a bite to eat and then come back Sat night on a flight. No accomodation costs involved.
 
Afternoon tea? shows? trips to a villa??

Whatever happened to just a good oul night out on the town??, bite to eat early on then hit up some good clubs/pubs. -I had a great laugh around Dublin city for mine. I hate the hen thing with the l plates etc so warned everybody in advance not to even go there. Ended up about 15 of us in town - some guys friends included on a good old fashioned pub crawl - granted spent most of the night in Mulligans but sure a good time was had by all!.

If you are dead set on going away - train up to Belfast for a night? book a semi decent hotel, four to a room kind of thing to cut down on costs, have a good night out on the town then train back again the following day.
 
Great suggestions, keep them coming! I have thought about a spa day but treatments are v. expensive at 50 euros up each. If we go away to a villa abroad, no my mother will not be paying for my younger sisters. One of them is working part time and can afford to fund the trip herself with a years notice. The other sister has a great way of getting bob together - cleaning my car for a few bob, walking the dog, etc. last year she funded a basketball camp herself without muttering a word to anyone!

I like the Belfast idea - must price train tickets. Handy because the train from Cork will inevitably connect in Dublin, hence all on the one train!
 
ney001 said:
Whatever happened to just a good oul night out on the town??, bite to eat early on then hit up some good clubs/pubs. -.
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The OP said her sister doesn't drink and is not fond of the usual boozy nights out hence the alternative suggestions.
 
huskerdu said:
If you want a different hen weekend in Ireland, I would recommend Causey Farm
near Kells in Meath. Its a great laugh.

causey.ie/hen-parties/
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I'm doing this for my own hen and can't wait, i've heard great things from a few people about it. It's €35 or so for the activities, what about this and all back to a house for karaoke/drinks etc? Maybe have a fancy dress theme?
 
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