What do you disagree with?TIme to change the filter on your lens @Purple
Stress of doing the job of 3 people. OP is Mother, Father, and corporate worker all at once. Time poverty leads to badly thought out spending. The alternative might be to crack up. Some great practical financial advice given in all these posts. But it's a case of 'walk a day in my shoes'. OP is under huge pressure and self care (what ever that looks like for her) should also be prioritised. If the wheels come off her mental health, then all bets are off.
I would be ruthlessly pursuing the Dad for a contribution. That's the obvious gap here. Mind yourself OP and enjoy your kids and your life as best you can. You'll get this situation sorted out in no time at all.
It's probably over-budgeting for going away but we are not looking at an all in sun holiday here. All my family live abroad and I have a sick family member so I'm allocating some for visiting family over the year (that's the only holiday) and unexpected trips if they come up. It could be the last one with everyone so not keen on cutting myself short here.So you are spending 6.5k a month?
And planning a holiday that will cost 2.4k?
You can't afford it.
Thank you. You're right there's some reluctance there and I will cut some of that for sure.Lots of good advice. I'm getting the feeling rightly or wrongly that while the op would like to cut spending there is a reluctance to really let go of the excessive spending.
I think you earn a great salary.
As someone said, it's a cash flow problem, not a huge debt problem. Increase/redirect the cash flow, reduce the debt.
I can't quite get my head around why you would cut your child's swimming lessons (an essential life skill in my opinion) and not the Coffee or meals out. I understand you need something for yourself but with the amount you are spending on groceries alone, could you not invite friends around for a casual dinner instead of eating out?
There would appear to be so many ways to cut your spending, you just need to bite the bullet and do it.
Best of luck. It's a short term pain for a long term gain.
That should save you money; you definitely don't need take away coffees, you can get washing done, fit in housework and cooking around work etc.I also work from home so I do need a change of scenery once in a while.
I suggest you consider taking a wider view - whilst our experiences shape us to a degree, we have the capacity to see beyond those experiences and not be defined by them.What do you disagree with?
Court will order child maintenance based on both parents income and outgoings.how much is a court going to order him to pay
Not so. Don't need a legal rep to apply for child maintenance; OP will be well able to do this.pursuing Dad is going to cost a lot of money
Thats why you stay within your means & save a rainy day fund.sick family member .... unexpected trips
She already has a contingency fund of nearly 5K.Thats why you stay within your means & save a rainy day fund.
OP said ex is on a low salary, and said he said he has no money. So given she's on 5K a month I'd say the chances of maintenance are slim to none. Or a miserly amount. Which won't be worth the time it takes and the anger it will cause.Court will order child maintenance based on both parents income and outgoings.
Max in District Court, last time I checked, is €150 per week per child.
I agree. It must be hard to be all things at once and she is to be applauded. But she has asked for help. And I do agree, this situation can be sorted out quickly enough but only if action is taken on the spending. Its not going to happen by itself. Taking control will also lead to an enhanced feeling of well being. Feeling out of control and overwhelmed is a killer. I also agree that the Dad should be making his contribution, it's ridiculous that he feels he can walk away from his little ones. But if by the time he does contribute, the OP has her spending under control, Dads contribution can go solely on the children's needs and not repaying loans. I'd say the op would love to be in that position.Stress of doing the job of 3 people. OP is Mother, Father, and corporate worker all at once. Time poverty leads to badly thought out spending. The alternative might be to crack up. Some great practical financial advice given in all these posts. But it's a case of 'walk a day in my shoes'. OP is under huge pressure and self care (what ever that looks like for her) should also be prioritised. If the wheels come off her mental health, then all bets are off.
I would be ruthlessly pursuing the Dad for a contribution. That's the obvious gap here. Mind yourself OP and enjoy your kids and your life as best you can. You'll get this situation sorted out in no time at all.
I agree completely. I do take a wider view. Within that wide view I still think that people on good incomes should live within their means. I still think that people have a responsibility to provide for their children and if they can't then they are failing as parents. If they need support from their neighbours through their neighbours taxes then they should strive to ensure that such help is temporary. That's their responsibility as a citizen, as an adult and as a parent. If they think it's okay to live off their neighbours permanently then they are failing as a citizen, as an adult and particularly as a parent. That's particularly the case if you have a very good income.I suggest you consider taking a wider view - whilst our experiences shape us to a degree, we have the capacity to see beyond those experiences and not be defined by them.
pretty sure every judge in family court has heard the same story. They have been known to tell the parent (rightly in my view) to get a job and support their children.he said he has no money
On the contrary every parent is expected to support their children.I'd say the chances of maintenance are slim to none
OP - this makes no sense.She already has a contingency fund of nearly 5K.
So far the OP has been pretty reluctant to actually take any of our advise though.I think again on a broader scale we have to appreciate that the OP is a single parent working a pretty much full time job (while it not might be the intention, parental leave usually means you are full on performing for the 4 days and achieve a full time workload without any of the small respites that you can fit into a 5 day week). And that leaves little energy/time for doing some of the things that seem obvious - like meal prep and cleaning. So that means increase in costs for food and requirement to have help with cleaning. There is a trade off, they can work less to do those things and have less income. And run the risk of falling behind in career, losing out on % of pension contributions etc.
I applaud the OP for doing all that they do and for having the where with all to come on here and ask for advice (of which they have gotten plenty of and very high quality too).
Stuff that notion (no offence Bronte).the anger it will cause
I'd rather he saw his children than be ordered to pay one hundred euro a month.Stuff that notion (no offence Bronte).
Parents are legally obliged to support their children; personally I'd have non-paying parents arrested for neglect.
One does not preclude the other & making it so is abuse.I'd rather he saw his children than be ordered to pay one hundred euro a month.