Scaling back work to care for family

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Bracken40

New Member
Messages
5
Personal details

Age: 55
Spouse's age: n/a
Partner's age if not married:

Number and age of children: 2, ages 17 and 16

Income and expenditure
Annual gross income from employment or profession: 104k
Annual gross income of spouse/partner: n/a

Monthly take-home pay: 6300

Type of employment - e.g. Employee or self-employed. Employee
Employer type: e.g. public servant, private company. Private co.

In general are you: On average, breaking even
(a) spending more than you earn, or
(b) saving?

Summary of Assets and Liabilities
Family home value: 900k
Mortgage on family home: 285k
Net equity: 615k

Cash: 10k
Defined Contribution pension fund: New employer/ pension, about a year old, 15k in and contributing 15% of salary monthly
Company shares: No
Buy to Let Property value: No
Buy to let Mortgage: No

Total net assets: 640k


Family home mortgage information
Lender AIB
Interest rate 2.2%
Type of interest rate: tracker, variable, fixed. Fixed
If fixed, what is the term remaining of the fixed rate? 3 yrs
If tracker, what is the margin e.g. ECB + 1%

Remaining term: (Original term is not relevant) 11 yrs
Monthly repayment: 2430

Other borrowings – car loans/personal loans etc
None

Do you pay off your full credit card balance each month?
If not, what is the balance on your credit card?

Pension information

Value of pension fund: 450k in Matrix ARF with Zurich

Buy to let properties
No
Value:
Rental income per year:
Rough annual expenses other than mortgage interest :
Lender
Interest rate
If fixed, what is the term remaining of the fixed rate?

Other savings and investments:
None


Other information which might be relevant

Life insurance: Death in service 4 x salary
Car worth 14k, no debt on this
Receive DCA for 1 child and other child receives disability allowance
Both continue to receive child benefit
2 x incapacitated child tax free allowances

What specific question do you have or what issues are of concern to you?

Single parent, work full time. I have 2 teens with additional needs. In recent years this has become increasingly unmanageable in terms of time demands and mental load. I would very much like to go part time, or to resign, but I can't see how I can make this work with the mortgage as high as it is.
I would be entitled to carers benefit for 2 years, assuming my work would sign this off, with guaranteed return to work.
I would also be entitled to carers allowance and any other associated benefits if my employer did not approve carers leave.
Other than selling the house and downsizing (would still need a 3 bed in Dublin, not cheap!), is there any way for me to step back from full time work, perhaps using some of my pension, doing part time work, and claiming social welfare? I can't seem to make the maths work.
I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and if I keep going the way I have been, may end up in a psych ward!
Thanks for any advice.
 
Would it be an option to take some of the 104 weeks allowed in shorter blocks? Giving you some extra time at home but still maintaining an income? Alternatively if you take it in a block would you be in a position to take up the room scheme to supplement the carers leave payment? I am of a similar age and one of my children has additional needs the pressure is immense and as a single parent I can only imagine how much of a challenge it is. The financial gurus on here will have more better advice I am sure but I just wanted to say well done for getting this far.
 
Have you asked your employer about reduced hours? 3 day week?
Could you manage to scale back any expenses if they agreed or would you end up being stressed over bills? Eg extend the mortgage term by a year or two.
 
Annieindublin said:
Have you asked your employer about reduced hours? 3 day week?
Could you manage to scale back any expenses if they agreed or would you end up being stressed over bills? Eg extend the mortgage term by a year or two.
Click to expand...
Haven't asked employer yet, not quite a year in the role and my understanding is you have to be a year before requesting anything like this. I could evaluate this option though! At the moment I don't see how it would work but if I had more time I could prob spend time working out how to cut costs.
Can't extend mortgage term, it's already been renegotiated and extended due to financial difficulties in the past related to multiple factors I won't go into here.
Mommabearof3 said:
Would it be an option to take some of the 104 weeks allowed in shorter blocks? Giving you some extra time at home but still maintaining an income? Alternatively if you take it in a block would you be in a position to take up the room scheme to supplement the carers leave payment? I am of a similar age and one of my children has additional needs the pressure is immense and as a single parent I can only imagine how much of a challenge it is. The financial gurus on here will have more better advice I am sure but I just wanted to say well done for getting this far.
Click to expand...
I don't have a spare room, and my eldest would not tolerate a stranger in the house regardless.
I could consider taking shorter blocks, but the care needed is so random and ad hoc its almost impossible to plan. This week for example I had to collect eldest from school at short notice 3 times due to illness/ anxiety. Not sure how best to manage it all!
 
You don’t have to be a year working to ask for flexibility.

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/...rs-of-work/right-to-request-flexible-working/

But it’s probably sensible to work out possible scenarios and present solutions rather than problems when you ask.

Having had some push back on requests for flexibility myself I am probably overly cautious but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

Look at the role and the day to day routine at work. Would WFH a bit help?

Short notice like emergency collections from school are just facts of life and can’t usually be planned but work around like logging in later to check emails might be useful if your job allows that.

If you are needed on site, eg facing customers, then reduced hours might be helpful. But that won’t guarantee you won’t get another emergency call.

Dealing with your kids during the day and working at night to catch up is going to ruin your health. But when I’ve considered packing it all in I’ve also looked at the impact of that and figured the stress of reduced income would be just as bad.

Maybe as a starting point request a few weeks unpaid leave this summer. I imagine school holidays bring additional challenges. If you had a break planned you might be able to cope better now.

Pick a quiet time in work, when others aren’t on leave and ask for 2-3 weeks for family care. See what response you get.
 
You obviously find yourself in a difficult position but I’m struggling to see a way forward with your outstanding mortgage.

Do you have to live in Dublin?

If you traded down to a (say) €400k property, you could clear your mortgage and generate some material cash.

A modest annual drawdown from your ARF, coupled with the various welfare payments, should be enough for day-to-day expenses.

But I can’t see how you could step back from full-time employment while your mortgage is outstanding.
 
Annieindublin said:
Maybe as a starting point request a few weeks unpaid leave this summer. I imagine school holidays bring additional challenges. If you had a break planned you might be able to cope better now.
Click to expand...
This is a good idea it is clear you are completely at capacity. Having some temporary respite might give you breathing room and help knowing there is something down the road.

July provision is also worth considering if that would benefit it took me a while to find the right fit but the structure helped my son and if the school do not offer it you can have home July provision.

Would there be any friends/family members who might offer a bit of support? Anything to just give you an opportunity to just regroup and take a moment out even just to plan and consider your options.

I also agree with approaching your employer and having the conversation to see if/what options are available to you and see if you can reduce even a day a week. Knowing where you stand will allow to better evaluate what’s best for you.

Also could you find somebody to come in and help with things in the house maybe pay a cleaner or would a tutor for homework ease your burden. Unsure of the complexity of your teens needs but a tutor to support educational needs might take some of the burden off you.
 
Annieindublin said:
You don’t have to be a year working to ask for flexibility.



But it’s probably sensible to work out possible scenarios and present solutions rather than problems when you ask.

Having had some push back on requests for flexibility myself I am probably overly cautious but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

Look at the role and the day to day routine at work. Would WFH a bit help?

Short notice like emergency collections from school are just facts of life and can’t usually be planned but work around like logging in later to check emails might be useful if your job allows that.

If you are needed on site, eg facing customers, then reduced hours might be helpful. But that won’t guarantee you won’t get another emergency call.

Dealing with your kids during the day and working at night to catch up is going to ruin your health. But when I’ve considered packing it all in I’ve also looked at the impact of that and figured the stress of reduced income would be just as bad.

Maybe as a starting point request a few weeks unpaid leave this summer. I imagine school holidays bring additional challenges. If you had a break planned you might be able to cope better now.

Pick a quiet time in work, when others aren’t on leave and ask for 2-3 weeks for family care. See what response you get.
Click to expand...
Thanks, I wasn't aware of the change in legislation re flexible working. I have some thoughts about what might work and I believe my workplace would be amenable.
I already WFH 2 days on average, and have flexibility around school pickups etc, and make up the time early morning or in the evenings. I agree the stress of the reduced income is possibly worse than where I am right now!
School holidays are actually better for me as kid 1 has severe school related anxiety, and with 2 teens they lie in bed half the day, I can work without interruption and most of their appointments are paused/ reduced during the holiday months. Term time is a nightmare, we have some kind of appointment most weeks, 2 different times for drop off and pickup and days are very long as I am then making up for work time lost etc. Thanks for your advice.
 
Sarenco said:
You obviously find yourself in a difficult position but I’m struggling to see a way forward with your outstanding mortgage.

Do you have to live in Dublin?

If you traded down to a (say) €400k property, you could clear your mortgage and generate some material cash.

A modest annual drawdown from your ARF, coupled with the various welfare payments, should be enough for day-to-day expenses.

But I can’t see how you could step back from full-time employment while your mortgage is outstanding.
Click to expand...
Yep the mortgage is the sticking point no matter how I calculate it. Not sure how it would work re selling house and moving (ex partner in the picture who lives in Dublin). I could consider it. Better supports in Dublin for my kids though, not sure would I have to rejoin waiting lists etc for CAMHS if I moved? Ugh a lot to think about! Thank you!
 
Well, I was thinking of somewhere like Celbridge, which has good rail links to Dublin and I’m pretty sure you could snag a nice three-bed there for somewhere around the €400k mark.

Anyway, best of luck however you decide to proceed.
 
When I read your post you said that you have a 16 and 17 year old both with additional need's. Have been diagnosed with s condition like ASD, ADHD or anxiety or some other physical or mental health condition?
Thee reason I ask this is that at 16 your children may be entitled to the disability allowance if they have recognised health issue.
I just read on the disability allowance section in citizen information website that your income is not taken into consideration if your kids are living with you.
If you put disability allowance Ireland into Google it will bring this up to you and you can get more information. Their phone number is their also.

You will have to fill out a long form, get medical records from the doctors and chams. I would speak to someone in chams or your child's doctor about this. See if you can get someone knowledgeable to help you fill out the form that knows your child. Photo copy everything & keep copies for yourself. Send the 2 application form separately by registering post. Ring them about 10 days later to see when you should hear back about this.

It could take a while to be granted but you would be back paid this money and you may have to appeal this as well. If your children got this they get money paid into a bank account, a free travel card and possibly medical cards.
I would ask their father to help you out financially if they can also or get him to have them more or collect from school if they are not well.

Read up your work contract and see if you could work a day less a week. Put your salary into the pwc salary calculator for 2024 and see what would happen if you worked 4 days a week rather than 5 if your employer was willing to let you do this.
Your dealing with a lot at the moment and it better if you can stay near school and services where you are now if at all possible.
 
Sorry I did not see that you already receive the above. I think that you need to get their father to help out more or help you financially.
 
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