Saw Child Verbally Abused in Shop

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ClubMan said:
So best practice is not doing nothing at the time, taking down the car registration number, posting on a public discussion forum and then ruminating over contacting various statutory and other authorities? Well I never...
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Well, in my opinion from the woman's demeanour, this woman looked like she could well hit you if you approached her.

If you notice I said in my earlier thread, that one of the reasons I did not approach her was I was concerned it would make matters worse for the child. It was a split second decision, do I approach her or just get details and think about it later. That was my call.

Also, I know that had she shouted in my face or put her hands on me (she looked as if she could well do that) I would have reacted accordingly and it would not have helped anyone.

Whether it is best practice or not, I simply dont know. I dont deal with this every day. You are obviously more learned than myself in dealing with all worldly situations and I bow to your superior knowledge, as I am sure, do most people .
 
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Originally Posted by Havealaugh http://www.askaboutmoney.com/showthread.php?p=646640#post646640
Interesting link here -

http://www.heptune.com/tantrum.html

Quote:
[SIZE=+1]If the child throws a tantrum in public, carry him out of the public area if possible, and take him to a place where you can have some privacy. The best place to take him is to the car, where he can be buckled into his car seat. Then you stand near the car or sit in the car and wait it out without reacting to the tantrum. [/SIZE]
... all the while hoping that there are no do gooders lurking in the vicinity ready to record your car registration and report you for abuse/neglect/forceful restraint ...
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Or kidnap !:eek:
 
If you notice I said in my earlier thread, that one of the reasons I did not approach her was I was concerned it would make matters worse for the child. It was a split second decision, do I approach her or just get details and think about it later. That was my call
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You also said ...

Last post for me on the subject, I will let anyone who is interested know how I get on.
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:)
 
To suggest that you 'somebody looks like they could well shout into your face or put their hands on you and that if you stepped in it could make things worse for the child' sounds like a guilty conscience to me. Nothing was done at the time by anyone so the OP was not alone, but I wonder how many more 'onlookers' are now contemplating getting social services, guards etc involved. I think the OP was upset by what she saw and subsequently upset with herself for not doing anything about it then.
 
Chances are if OP had intervened in what was already a volatile and emotionally charged situation she would have been at the very least told to mind her own business. The mother may well have gone home and contemplated her behaviour but ultimately its unlikely she would have been to happy to have been publically taken to task for her parenting skills by a stranger. There is really very little the OP could have done at the time.
 
Manda C - It is very obvious you have been deeply affected by what you witnessed at the shop and I think it has also reignited old memories for yourself. You are a sensitive person and it hurts you deeply to see children be treated as such.

Social workers are currently stretched to the limit dealing with the most horrific of cases. They simply will not have the resources or time to follow up your complaint of a woman screaming at her kid in a supermarket.

My advise to you is to leave it be. For all you know, child protection services may already be dealing with this woman and child.
 
The mother may well have gone home and contemplated her behaviour but ultimately its unlikely she would have been to happy to have been publically taken to task for her parenting skills by a stranger.
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Would the mother be happier to be dealing with socail services or have a squad car pull up outside her door? Which would you prefer.
 
I don't think its the remit of the guards to bring a mother to task over her child rearing abilities, they would just pass it over to social services.
 
MrMan said:
To suggest that you 'somebody looks like they could well shout into your face or put their hands on you and that if you stepped in it could make things worse for the child' sounds like a guilty conscience to me. Nothing was done at the time by anyone so the OP was not alone, but I wonder how many more 'onlookers' are now contemplating getting social services, guards etc involved. I think the OP was upset by what she saw and subsequently upset with herself for not doing anything about it then.
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No Mr. Man, and I can understand you thinking that.

I was firstly afraid that I would achieve nothing and that the child might get into more trouble and secondly, it was obvious the woman was in a very hostile humour and in my opinion there was a strong possibily she might have struck me.I would have reacted back and there could have been an incident fifty times worse. I know my own personality and reactions and I know that would have been my reaction.

Being a sheep and having anything on my conscience is one thing I could certainly never be found guilty of.
 
MrMan said:
Would the mother be happier to be dealing with socail services or have a squad car pull up outside her door? Which would you prefer.
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Im sure she wouldnt be happy at any of those scenarios but I also think it is highly unlikely that the guards or social services are going to bother calling to someones home because she shouted at her child in a supermarket.
 
MandaC said:
Being a sheep and having anything on my conscience is one thing I could certainly never be found guilty of.
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I don't understand this post? You did not take any action when you say you saw an Adult act in what you have described as an abusive way to a child. You then go onto a public forrum asking how/if you should contact authorities.That to me sounds like someone who if not a sheep at least has something on their consciense.
 
A bit off topic, but the motivation and conscience of many social workers was investigated in a Prime Time (I think) programme a few weeks back.

Prevarication and 'turning a blind eye', even in very serious cases, did not appear to be unusual at all in certain centres/sections.

Given that, I can only imagine that the same individuals would all but laugh at the scenario outlined in this thread.
 
TheBlock said:
I don't understand this post? You did not take any action when you say you saw an Adult act in what you have described as an abusive way to a child. You then go onto a public forrum asking how/if you should contact authorities.That to me sounds like someone who if not a sheep at least has something on their consciense.
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I dont understand the above.

Because I did not confront the woman does not mean I ignored the underlying issue. Bigger picture and all that.

No, I did not ask should I contact the authorites. I asked IF I was able to do anything GIVEN THAT that all I had was a car no. To me it is more a matter for Social Services than Gardai, but Social Services surely can not act on a car number. That was the query.
 
Caveat said:
A bit off topic, but the motivation and conscience of many social workers was investigated in a Prime Time (I think) programme a few weeks back.

Prevarication and 'turning a blind eye', even in very serious cases, did not appear to be unusual at all in certain centres/sections.

Given that, I can only imagine that the same individuals would all but laugh at the scenario outlined in this thread.
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I agree with you 100% on this one, that prime time report was pretty harrowing to the least.
 
Hi i have been following this thread all day and am amazed at all the different responses, i am a single mother , i have a a 3 year old boy who detests shopping completely but the shopping has to be done and the hell we both go thru has to be endured once a week. extremely stresfull and there are only so many times u can say 'stop' put it down ' or 'no' in a low tone. I myself can be found guilty of raising my voice at my child in public , but i never would use fowl language or name call my child in a serious manner, nor would i be heard aisles away! it can only be speculated as to what happened before or after the incident in question but i do personally believe that if the OP had seen it happen more than once than they would have more grounds to make an official complaint. another option would be perhaps to find the owners of the reg, if u knew the make or model of the car or perhaps the car sticker to where it was sold could ring up and ask for a 'service history' or maybe find out more. if u got the name or even address of these people you could make an anonymous call to childline? and let them deal with it, as its the child you are worried for not 'getting' the parent. me personally i would hold back but if u really want to do something go to social services and ask how to go about it, citizens advice will advise and there are info leaflets on how to do so. in all i just hope it was a moms moment of madness!!
 
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OK.. whats the update - have you reported the parent & has someone form the dept come around & taken away the child at this stage.......problem solved right!
 
I too am amazed by peoples responses to this thread, MandaC might be right in what she saw or she might be overreacting. There is no harm in following up on it though. Especially as there is a child involved. A couple of you posted saying you have sworn at your child (when pushed to the limit) but what MandaC saw is different - this was a stream of non stop expletives. The child also reacted in an odd way she felt.

Child services surely understand that not all reported incidents are abuse and that every incident needs to be looked at from both sides (the reporter and that of the parent in this case). MandaC is trying to do the right thing here and I admire her for that.
 
"Quack off"
:D
Bold, ClubMan!
edit: actually that's mean, on reflection! Sorry Blossy
 
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