Kids starting job... living at home ... how much "rent" should they pay?

I hope all those parents who treat their children like tenants are saving all that cash so that they can pay their children to be their carers when they get older and need someone to look after them.


If an adult child is earing 60/70k plus, then its time for them to get out in to the real world and rent a room somewhere else and start adulting. But some young lad or girl earning a few quid in their first job then be happy that they are contributing a few quid for the grocery bill.

You brought them in to this world. Its not an easy time to be a young adult. Give them a break. They might have to choose your nursing home some day!
 
the amount of rent is these circumstances is very dependent on the household income and outgoings . In a one income family, with a mortgage , the child’s income could be a significant addition . two earners with the mortgage paid off are likely to not need the money , so it’s about the principle of contributing .
Also, contributing to a household goes beyond money . If you ask your adult children for money and they get a full hotel service , including cleaning and laundry, they sre definitely not going to learn to adult .
Regardless of the money , rules need to be set about sharing a living space which means sharing the chores. In fact, I think it’s more important than money
 
It really depends how much you need the money. If you are struggling with a mortgage or loans from putting them through college I would discuss this with them and come up with a reasonable figure of what would allow you to live more comfortably, and also allow them to enjoy their new earnings and save a decent amount. Both are going to be on decent wages so I would definitely expect a contribution.
I would also discuss with them the importance of setting up a standing order to a savings account that can't be easily accessed. Get the amount being paid to you set up as a standing order also and you won't have to be reminding them, plus it will help if they were to apply for a mortgage.
I didn't pay much at home but I bought food, cooked dinners for everyone, cleaned, funded my own car etc. I think if your adult kids want to live at home they need to be somewhat helpful also, not creating extra work constantly.
 
our wonderful education system sends our 18 year olds out in to the world proficient in the modh coinníollach, but doesn't teach them how to drive a car, cook for themselves or put a roof over their heads. I'm not a parent, but surely a parents role should include guiding them on how to save a bit of money so that they can eventually live independently. I'm not sure charging them market-rate rent is the way to do that!
 
JohnJay said:
I hope all those parents who treat their children like tenants are saving all that cash so that they can pay their children to be their carers when they get older and need someone to look after them.


If an adult child is earing 60/70k plus, then its time for them to get out in to the real world and rent a room somewhere else and start adulting. But some young lad or girl earning a few quid in their first job then be happy that they are contributing a few quid for the grocery bill.

You brought them in to this world. Its not an easy time to be a young adult. Give them a break. They might have to choose your nursing home some day!
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Dare I suggest that kids owe their parents Big Time, for their first 18-24 years on the planet?

Very few kids were brought up on bread and water, most had TVs in their bedrooms (with Netflix), a tablet, the latest mobile phone, a decent weekly allowance, a wardrobe full of designer labels, a holiday with their pals (pre Covid). etc etc etc. Those kids who didn't have all of these things, and more, probably had parents who struggled the hardest, to provide what they could.

This endless sense of entitlement from Millennials is disgraceful, and needs to be stopped.
 
Here is my take.

Don't charge your kids 'rent'. Its a family home, they are part of the family.

It is perfectly reasonable to ask them to contribute to the expenses of the home if they are earning an income. Maybe just a small contribution if its a low paid or part time student type job. A full contribution if they are earning a proper wage, and €35k is certainly a proper wage. I do not see why you would ask the high earner to pay more, that's hardly fair.

A full contribution towards the costs of running the home, electricity, heat, insurance, food.

As for the labour needs in running a home, washing, cooking, cleaning, lawn mowing, they should do their share there too.

Well done on getting your kids to this stage, I hope mine will turn out as well.
 
JohnJay said:
I hope all those parents who treat their children like tenants are saving all that cash so that they can pay their children to be their carers when they get older and need someone to look after them.


If an adult child is earing 60/70k plus, then its time for them to get out in to the real world and rent a room somewhere else and start adulting. But some young lad or girl earning a few quid in their first job then be happy that they are contributing a few quid for the grocery bill.

You brought them in to this world. Its not an easy time to be a young adult. Give them a break. They might have to choose your nursing home some day!
Click to expand...
Absolutely. Couldn't agree more. Comparing your generation to the generation of today isn't comparable. I don't know many 30-50 year olds who have Saud that they'd love to be in college or finishing college these days.

Charging your son €1000 a month rent (what is your mortgage each month in fairness) is absolutely crazy.

They are your kids. Teach them money yes. I'd rather take great comfort and pride if my children were earning that amount of money out of college, and making saving for a house and seeing the world, travelling and experiencing life.

The daily grind starts quickly, once they aren't blowing their money and they are sensible, Christ sake cut them some slack. I'd hope your son would sooner move out and gain some independence before paying €1000 a month to rent a bedroom from his parents
 
What an interesting thread. I put up my tuppence worth yesterday and deleted it almost immediately. I am amazed at the posters here who look on their children as products who must contribute X% of take home pay as a "thank-you" for their upbringing and accommodation. Then I see a poster saying his kids are the ones who'll decide in what rest home he'll spend his last weeks before snuffing it.

I'm a grandparent and I would hope our kids (now parents) would treat their off-spring not like a money making product. There has to be some middle ground where those kids who can afford it can contribute to the family expenses while residing there. The last thing I would want is alienate our kids over money. Life is not easy and lots get thrown at everybody and if it's only money problems then be thankful. Yes, I believe kids should contribute towards their keep, but I think also that they should contribute to the well being of the household (cutting grass, cooking. painting etc).

But, treating them as a money making asset will make an ass of you. We come this way only once; enjoy while it lasts. Oh! and stay around as long as you can, grandchildren easily outweigh your own kids in nearly every way. They think grandparents are heroes. They're right!
 
JohnJay said:
I hope all those parents who treat their children like tenants are saving all that cash so that they can pay their children to be their carers when they get older and need someone to look after them.


If an adult child is earing 60/70k plus, then its time for them to get out in to the real world and rent a room somewhere else and start adulting. But some young lad or girl earning a few quid in their first job then be happy that they are contributing a few quid for the grocery bill.

You brought them in to this world. Its not an easy time to be a young adult. Give them a break. They might have to choose your nursing home some day!
Click to expand...
They might have to choose your nursing home some day!
Click to expand...
:)
Click to expand...
 
cremeegg said:
Here is my take.

Don't charge your kids 'rent'. Its a family home, they are part of the family.

It is perfectly reasonable to ask them to contribute to the expenses of the home if they are earning an income. Maybe just a small contribution if its a low paid or part time student type job. A full contribution if they are earning a proper wage, and €35k is certainly a proper wage. I do not see why you would ask the high earner to pay more, that's hardly fair.

A full contribution towards the costs of running the home, electricity, heat, insurance, food.

As for the labour needs in running a home, washing, cooking, cleaning, lawn mowing, they should do their share there too.

Well done on getting your kids to this stage, I hope mine will turn out as well.
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Rent probably sounds a bit mercenary all right @cremeegg. I should call it a "contribution" .... just like the €3K that I pay to their college each year is a "contribution" rather than a "student fee" ;)
 
Leper said:
What an interesting thread. I put up my tuppence worth yesterday and deleted it almost immediately. I am amazed at the posters here who look on their children as products who must contribute X% of take home pay as a "thank-you" for their upbringing and accommodation. Then I see a poster saying his kids are the ones who'll decide in what rest home he'll spend his last weeks before snuffing it.

I'm a grandparent and I would hope our kids (now parents) would treat their off-spring not like a money making product. There has to be some middle ground where those kids who can afford it can contribute to the family expenses while residing there. The last thing I would want is alienate our kids over money. Life is not easy and lots get thrown at everybody and if it's only money problems then be thankful. Yes, I believe kids should contribute towards their keep, but I think also that they should contribute to the well being of the household (cutting grass, cooking. painting etc).

But, treating them as a money making asset will make an ass of you. We come this way only once; enjoy while it lasts. Oh! and stay around as long as you can, grandchildren easily outweigh your own kids in nearly every way. They think grandparents are heroes. They're right!
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Hi @Leper It wasn't my intention for the post to come across as seeing my kids as "money making asset". I've been parenting now for almost 24 years and I'm still learning! Each phase throws up something new, and that next phase, for me, is where they're getting ready to go into the "real world".

I was curious to see how others handled this.
 
Wow, I’m tearing up at the goodwill some of the parents on here are showing their adult kids.
Back in the day my parents encouraged me to set up an SSIA in my name when I was working and living with them so they could use it as well as their own to lodge money into it, not for me mind! And I was expected to pay rent weekly but given one evening’s notice when I was asked to leave, but that’s not relevant here.
My question is if adult kids are paying rent to their parents surely they are entitled to renters rights some form of notice/tax relief on the rent they’re paying at home?
 
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JohnJay said:
You brought them in to this world. Its not an easy time to be a young adult. Give them a break. They might have to choose your nursing home some day!
Click to expand...
Better again if they took care of the parents as a thank you. No need for a home then.
 
They are adults. Why not sit down with them and discuss it. They might intend to stay living at home. That would be my starting point. Break it down to an amount for bed/ utilities/ basic food items. Get them to cook an night of two a week too.
 
Working "children" residing in the "nest" know they should be contributing to the economy of the household. If they have to be reminded, then something went wrong along the way of their upbringing. Most of them know they are going to inherit the nest anyway so it is in their own interest to contribute to its well-being.

The "kids" want to fly the nest too. They want their independence. They'll soon discover that life outside of the nest is more trying than they expected with having to pay rent. utilities, deal with landlord, do washing, cook, upkeep etc. Mom's taxi is no longer an option either.

Niceoneted (above) hit the nail on the head, talk to your kids and you'll soon learn if your parenting skills were up to the mark.
 
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