Hi.
I have 5 siblings, all aged 50 plus. Relationships are not great and eldest sibling is quite the del boy.
Father is 84. He initiated enduring power of attorney 6 years ago with me appointed. Before he went to the solicitor to initiate this, I asked him if we could include another sibling as attorney, which he did and that's fine. This other sibling is fair and I feel safer with two of us.
Before my father initiated enduring power of attorney, my father told us all that he made a will, appointed me as executive, to divide everything except the house, which he is leaving to me.
The house is ex council, hasn't been improved in quite some years and I would guess it's worth about 60k. He said he was leaving it to me so I would have a place to come and visit when he's gone (I'm out of my home town 28 years and religiously visit and stay with him every 2 to 3 weekends). (Mother died 19 yrs ago).
There's been a lot of jealousy about this. Eldest brother has said he is going to contest the will. Estate worth about 250k. I'm the only one that knows this as dad has shared with me when he knew his memory was fading. He told me what was where. I'm glad he did otherwise I wouldn't have known.
Regarding the EPOA, my father has been seen by a GP, deemed non compis mentis and he has been served with the papers. The notified parties (2 siblings) will get their papers in the coming days. I understand they will not object.
There has been a lot of drama over the years - WhatsApps, emails and so on about e.g. eldest brother coming over drinking with my father and getting him into a state that he wouldn't ordinarily get in to. My eldest brother shares the same name as my father, on paper. During Covid, when I couldn't come to visit, our sister just about mentioned, last minute, that a) eldest brother decided to collect pension for dad, but wasn't transparent about it. b) seemed to get interested in dad's money affairs, as there's only a credit union book in the house. We think he may have been curious as to where dad was keeping his money ... he then reported dad's post office book stolen (I had it, was given it by dad for safe keeping). Luckily sister mentioned it and other brother able to intercept it, cancel it and sort that out.
That aside, as EPOA is in progress, I and another brother tried to take an inventory of items in the house and found that anything of value is gone. It was a big surprise. Mam's jewellery, items dad acquired from safe working (a beautiful clock, some gold medals with diamonds) etc. There wasn't a lot there in the first place, but I guess about 5k worth of items that could have been shared out nicely as momentoes.
It seems my sister acquired mam's wedding and her eternity ring. Dad has no recollection. And she didn't tell anyone that this was happening at the time. He, out of the blue one day about 18 months ago, offered me the eternity ring, but I said no, thinking to do this fairly at the appropriate time, and I was also taking into account his cognitive decline. I reckon this was on his mind as he must have recently given it to my sister.
I am pretty sure all other items have been removed by eldest brother. I think it's highly likely for various reasons. He lives across the road. Some of the items were from dad's workplace (brother has an obsession about this - known to others, but he doesn't realise it himself). Again, dad has no idea what happened the items. Personally I feel it's a form of elderly abuse to do this. I might also add, at one point this eldest brother has changed the locks on the doors. Swapped them out with his. You couldn't make it up. I rectified this.
As I said, it's not worth a lot but there works have been some nice things to give to others as momentoes and they are all gone.
What can I do, what should I do. Should I seek advice, or just let it go. I have my memories with mam and with dad. I've told the brother that's going to be attorney (EPOA) with me. He's very disappointed but not surprised.
I have 5 siblings, all aged 50 plus. Relationships are not great and eldest sibling is quite the del boy.
Father is 84. He initiated enduring power of attorney 6 years ago with me appointed. Before he went to the solicitor to initiate this, I asked him if we could include another sibling as attorney, which he did and that's fine. This other sibling is fair and I feel safer with two of us.
Before my father initiated enduring power of attorney, my father told us all that he made a will, appointed me as executive, to divide everything except the house, which he is leaving to me.
The house is ex council, hasn't been improved in quite some years and I would guess it's worth about 60k. He said he was leaving it to me so I would have a place to come and visit when he's gone (I'm out of my home town 28 years and religiously visit and stay with him every 2 to 3 weekends). (Mother died 19 yrs ago).
There's been a lot of jealousy about this. Eldest brother has said he is going to contest the will. Estate worth about 250k. I'm the only one that knows this as dad has shared with me when he knew his memory was fading. He told me what was where. I'm glad he did otherwise I wouldn't have known.
Regarding the EPOA, my father has been seen by a GP, deemed non compis mentis and he has been served with the papers. The notified parties (2 siblings) will get their papers in the coming days. I understand they will not object.
There has been a lot of drama over the years - WhatsApps, emails and so on about e.g. eldest brother coming over drinking with my father and getting him into a state that he wouldn't ordinarily get in to. My eldest brother shares the same name as my father, on paper. During Covid, when I couldn't come to visit, our sister just about mentioned, last minute, that a) eldest brother decided to collect pension for dad, but wasn't transparent about it. b) seemed to get interested in dad's money affairs, as there's only a credit union book in the house. We think he may have been curious as to where dad was keeping his money ... he then reported dad's post office book stolen (I had it, was given it by dad for safe keeping). Luckily sister mentioned it and other brother able to intercept it, cancel it and sort that out.
That aside, as EPOA is in progress, I and another brother tried to take an inventory of items in the house and found that anything of value is gone. It was a big surprise. Mam's jewellery, items dad acquired from safe working (a beautiful clock, some gold medals with diamonds) etc. There wasn't a lot there in the first place, but I guess about 5k worth of items that could have been shared out nicely as momentoes.
It seems my sister acquired mam's wedding and her eternity ring. Dad has no recollection. And she didn't tell anyone that this was happening at the time. He, out of the blue one day about 18 months ago, offered me the eternity ring, but I said no, thinking to do this fairly at the appropriate time, and I was also taking into account his cognitive decline. I reckon this was on his mind as he must have recently given it to my sister.
I am pretty sure all other items have been removed by eldest brother. I think it's highly likely for various reasons. He lives across the road. Some of the items were from dad's workplace (brother has an obsession about this - known to others, but he doesn't realise it himself). Again, dad has no idea what happened the items. Personally I feel it's a form of elderly abuse to do this. I might also add, at one point this eldest brother has changed the locks on the doors. Swapped them out with his. You couldn't make it up. I rectified this.
As I said, it's not worth a lot but there works have been some nice things to give to others as momentoes and they are all gone.
What can I do, what should I do. Should I seek advice, or just let it go. I have my memories with mam and with dad. I've told the brother that's going to be attorney (EPOA) with me. He's very disappointed but not surprised.
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