I am a person! "Mr and Mrs John Smith" & why not "Mr and Mrs Jane Smith"

A

ali

Registered User
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It drives me demented to receive post addressed to Mr and Mrs John Smith (not least because my name is not Smith):). I cannot believe this outdated form of title address is still used for married people. I actually took my husband's surname - but even still I didn't take his first name! So at the least it should be Mr John and Mrs Jane Smith.

Neither of my sisters took their husbands name and both have received post in the forename and surname of their husbands'. Culprits include the school their children attend.

A.
 
Re: I am a person!

Sorry meant to post this to Letting off steam. Can this be moved please?

A.
 
Re: I am a person!

There’s nothing worse than a woman who doesn’t know her place.
I hope your husband doesn’t read this or he will ban you from the computer and cut your allowance! :p
 
Re: I am a person!

Now you've done it - a topical one I heard this morning:

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplough?

Give her a shovel. :p

Seriously though, I can't believe that form of address is still used. It's kind of victorian really. Or exclusive only to those on Reader's Digest mailing list maybe.
 
Re: I am a person!

My great aunt persists in sending birthday cards to my mother address to Mrs MyDad'sfirstname surname. Drives her mad. Traditionally, you only use Mrs actualfirstname surname when the husband is dead! Times change but lots of people don't!
 
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Women....desist in whining about your husbands' post and get back to the kitchen!
 
Re: I am a person!

Got a letter yesterday from Halifax about an old credit card account I used to have- they overcharged interest apparently and wanted us to contact them to pay it back to us. The account was in our joint names- in fact I was the one who applied for it originally, and the one who subsequently closed it as I deal with all paperwork and finances in our house. But somehow the letter is made out to my husband in his sole name ( of course once opened it was handed to me immediately for me to deal with) and when I rang up they wouldn't talk to me- despite the fact that it was a joint account- insisted they would only talk to my husband as I was 'the second named account holder'. Give me patience.:rolleyes:
 
Re: I am a person!

Purple said:
There’s nothing worse than a woman who doesn’t know her place.
I hope your husband doesn’t read this or he will ban you from the computer and cut your allowance! :p
Click to expand...


+1

If she gets away with her own name then next thing is she will want the vote !
 
Re: I am a person!

Purple said:
There’s nothing worse than a woman who doesn’t know her place.
I hope your husband doesn’t read this or he will ban you from the computer and cut your allowance! :p
Click to expand...

Did you not become your Husbands property on marriage. Jeeez.
 
Re: I am a person!

I'm reminded of a story my mother told me. A friend who had given birth in the 70's dealt with all hospital appointments and charges herself . On arrival home from the hospital she discovered the obstetrician had sent the bill for his services to her husband. She sent a cheque by return - addressed to the obstetrician's wife.:)
 
Re: I am a person!

I've actually met a woman who introduced *herself* as "Mrs. John Smith". Although I know the issue of wives taking their husbands' names has been discussed ad nauseum here before, I feel really sorry for those women who try to hold onto their own names after marriage, in the face of what can sometimes seem to be a deliberate ignoring of their wishes by many friends and family members. Unless I've been told specifically that a woman has taken her husband's name, I continue using (both:) her original names.
 
Re: I am a person!

If a woman gives her name as Mrs. John Smith then that is how I would address her - all the time, in all social situations.

What I really hate is when you see widows refered to as relics of John Smith! To me a relic is a piece of property belonging to someone.. What kind of family would refer to their mother like that?
 
Re: I am a person!

Actually the word is relict which is an archaic term for a widow.

It also has the following meanings -

a plant or animal species living on in isolation in a small local area as a survival from an earlier period or as a remnant of an almost extinct group

a physical feature, mineral, structure, etc. remaining after other components have wasted away or been altered
 
Re: I am a person!

Actually the word is relict which is an archaic term for a widow.


Used by archaic people!
 
Re: I am a person!

ali said:
I'm reminded of a story my mother told me. A friend who had given birth in the 70's dealt with all hospital appointments and charges herself .
Click to expand...

had to read this twice, i thought it said:


ali said:
A friend who had given birth in her 70's dealt with all hospital appointments and charges herself .
Click to expand...


i now realise that she was not in fact, a guinness book of records candidate.:D
 
Re: I am a person!

ali said:
It drives me demented to receive post addressed to Mr and Mrs John Smith ...
Click to expand...
Could I venture to suggest that you write to the organisations / individuals who continue to address your post in a fashion that drives you demented and inform them how you wish to have written communications destined for you and your husband styled, e.g. "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. / Miss / Ms. Mary Jones" with whatever naming sequence and salutaion combination that floats your boat.

Creating yet another thread on AAM in LOS changes nothing, other than perhaps to attract a few empathetic and conciliatory mutterings from the sisterhood and will not alleviate your level of "dementedness" when the next lot of non-PC post lands on the door-mat. :)
 
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