Going back to College as mature student

A

Anne123

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Job prospects don't seem great at moment and applying to go to Uni. Have enquired about back to ed allowance, thats fine. I know there's VEC funding I need to apply for. I'm single mum, have to organise childcare and will be travelling to Dub daily (150km each way) by car or bus. Is there any other assistance you can apply for under these circumstances. And no, I don't have a stash of loot under my mattress. Just bit fed up of being broke and want to do something about it.
 
Some Uni's have hardship funds or other small scholarships. Ask at student union or Deans office.
 
Hi Anna,

I have been down the mature student route and reading your post brings back all the struggles I had to go through. The one thing that alarms me about your post is the huge travelling distances you are going to have to endure. Third level education takes huge personal committment, esssay writing and assignments will have to be written which will be take up an enormous amount of your time. In addition you will still have to do the housework, shopping, care for your child/children and remember this will be over a three to four year period. Anna, please give it considerable thought, I had a husband to help me but I still found it extremely difficult, I was never there for my kids when they needed me and I was stressed out half of the time with exams and assignments. On occassions over the four year period I often found myself on the computer at three in the morning struffling to complete assignments.
There is a millinium fund for third level students available from local partnerships which you can claim, I think you may be eligible to claim for a few hundred euro also the Community Welfare Officer may help with an exceptional needs payment. With the Back to Educational Allowance you get a book allowance early in the academic year but you will need to check this out as alot has changed since I was a mature student a few years ago. You also may be eligible for the student grant which again works out at approx three hundred and fifty euro a month. It is not going to be easy Anna, in my personal opinion the travelling distances are far too big, remember your child/children will need you in their growing years and to be dispatched to a childcare facility after school will be horrible for them because after attending school all they want is to go home and be with their mum unless of course you have very young preschool children. My advise to you would be to seek out and speak to other mature students in your area or try and complete a course closeer to your home. They are no easy answers but please consider all eventualities and put your children first. When they are older the possibilities are endless just remember they are only children for a very short time and you being their only parent are their primary need at this very tender age in thier lives. Good luck in what ever you decide.
 
It was announced in this years budget that the Millennium Partnership Fund will be done away with from 2010 on. Check out this site for details on student grants/funding
 
Hi Anne123

Congratulations on your decision. Sorry I cannot help with your questions but it is great to hear someone doing something positive with their life by trying to improve themselves instead of (in so many posts) asking questions on how to avoid paying their obligations. Good luck and hope you achieve your goals.
 
Anne123 said:
Job prospects don't seem great at moment and applying to go to Uni. Have enquired about back to ed allowance, thats fine. I know there's VEC funding I need to apply for. I'm single mum, have to organise childcare and will be travelling to Dub daily (150km each way) by car or bus. Is there any other assistance you can apply for under these circumstances. And no, I don't have a stash of loot under my mattress. Just bit fed up of being broke and want to do something about it.
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IMHO You would be taking on too much.
As Marietta has said the distance is too long, you would never last.
Then you have children, and childcare would probably be very expensive considering that you would be travelling for long periods, and would need study time, and as you say you are already broke.
I was once a mature student myself and it was very demanding even though I had a job and no children.
The time may not be right now.
 
Op - I think the distances you are talking about travelling are madness. Could you look into something closer to home? My hubby is currently a mature student, we have no children and he only has a short distance to travel, he finds very demanding on his time, before xmas I didnt see him for 2 weeks as he was in studying and completing assignments from 9am til 9 or 10 o clock every night.
 
Thanks all for the replies. Certainly food for thought. My son is 6, I've devoted my life thus far to him and at this stage he's happy to spend time with his dad. I recently have support from a time point of view from him and he is willing to take my son for 3-4 school days if I am accepted into college. This leaves me time to travel by bus and study on bus journey. There are no Universities any closer and this is a biomedical science degree (have a background working in health industry and this has been a dream for a long time). I'm nearly 40 and feel that I have the energy and motivation. I'm looking at the study year in blocks and I know it will be really hard work, but there's quite a break during the summer and various breaks throughout the academic year. I love my son so much, but when is a good time? Plan is to do the school run 1-2 weekly and have him all weekend and of course he'd be home with me during the breaks. I have thought through the logistics. I've put alot on hold since he was born and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I feel that I am dying inside, I need to do something for myself. I feel that kids pick up on this and that it is better to teach by example i.e. following your dreams (not at others expense), being a well rounded, individual. The fact that I'm writing this is evident that I do have some underlying guilt about not being there at all times for my son. Marietta, I would like to ask, would you trade in your time at college and what you gained academically and personally?
I know the distance sounds crazy, but I don't live in Dub, it takes just short of 2hrs by bus. Maybe I'm a bit "glass half full" about it, but travelling by bus could be a chance to read & study. I do know someone local in same situation, studying midwifery and yes, its dam hard, but she's doing it. I will take everything on board, I might not get in! I plan to make a better life for myself and my son, no-one is gonna do it for us. And I mean that in a pro-active posative way. Option at mo is longterm SW, not for me, ta.
 
Thanks for positive note. Have had lot of response from people for whom the experience is still very vivid and I can appreciate how demanding it is. I have been to college and do know how demanding it is. Did 5 yr Dip part-time, my son came with me and I studied when he was sleeping, mind you he was very little and I could literally put him in a sling, cuddle him and read and study. Yep, there were late nights and tearing out of hair. So, Im not niave. I heed the warnings and thank everyone who has reminded me of the hard slog and sacrifices. It's got me thinking. I will proceed with the application, and take it a stage at a time and do my research and some soul searching. I certainly don't want to pass by this opportunity because of my own fears that I'm not up to it. It's amazing what you can do when your heart and soul is in it.
 
That's great, will talk to Deans office. V. helpful, thanks.
BTW Papercut ta for link.
 
Best of luck with the studies Anne123.

Its a huge committment - just remember to leave time for your son.
They shoot up from about that age as our nine year old has shown us.
The memories from these days are the once-offs we all live our lives for.
Your level headed approach and prior experience should allow you do both.

ONQ.
 
I think the distance is a huge issue. I have had to work at similar distance for few months and it was nightmare but I had the evenings off to recuperate... You wont have that time. Be careful that you dont get too stressed out and take it out on your son

Would it not be better to review the distance learning options. At least that way you can work from home. If you have to attend the odd lecture then travelling wont be as much of a burden

best of luck
 
I'm hearing the distance issue and maybe I need to explore how this will impact on my son. OK, its all valid and worth doing a "mental roleplay" without the rose tinted glasses. He will be with his dad for 3-4 days, those being school days and also my college days, so he'll get the best of me. Yep, see what your saying about the precious years. Mind you, the stress of making ends meet is worse. Myself and my son have a list of goals e.g. swimming with dolphins, going back to India, visiting Sth Africa to see the tigers etc... How can I manifest this on SW. We'll have our breaks, the whole summer to be together, go camping etc... with the potential of fullfilling those dreams once I'm earning a decent living(btw, doing what I love). It's not like he'll be sent off to strangers, he'll be having a great time with his dad, who is self employed and v. flexible. Distance learning course with Open Uni V expensive. Anyway, there's lab work involved so would have the expense of flying to UK for that. Have done science dip with OU, years ago. Hard going on your own. Easier to be emersed in environment. Can't pay for OU course at mo anyway. The course is exactly what I want, 3rd yr running and no other college offering this. Might do lotto this WE! If could sell the house, would move. I know it sounds corny, but I might visit some friends each day over a week, taking the bus, just to get a real feel for how it works in reality... thanks again for highlighting the distance. I need to look into it in detail, time, cost, inconvenience etc... If I look at all the challenges in detail, then I can weigh up cost and payoff. I know i need to explore the challenges, I just don't want to get bogged down in limitations. I suppose theres a difference in looking into the nitty gritty of the challenges and guaging whether you can manage AND just firing ahead and not dealing with those and getting a reality bite when the tiredness kicks in or pressure is mounting. If that fails, I'll just toss a coin. Brain going into meltdown. As a wise woman once said, when in doubt, do nothing. Will sleep on it for mo.
 
One thing that might squeeze out a little bit more time is distance learning. Currently doing an M.Sc. online through Aberdeen University and have to say that it really saves a lot of time - as theres no travel involved - and I can organise my own time around it.
I think this would be even more beneficial for you given family commitments.

Might be worth some thought...
 
The issue with the distance is that you think you will study as you travel - the reality of travel is that sometimes you dont get a seat, sometimes the person next to you is playing heavy metal through earphones and you cant concentrate, if the road is bumpy its hard to concentrate. Basically its just not a proper study environment. Travel is tiring as well, so by the time you got home you'd be tired and not on form for studying - plus youd be wanting to spend time with your son.

BTW - there are no wild tigers in South Africa - they are not native to that part of the world.

I really think the only way you can do this without making yourself sick from travel, tiredness and stress is to have your son live with his father and you be the parent who has him for weekends/visits - until the study is done. I just dont envisage you being able to care for your son and study. The breaks you talk about in the academic year are usually filled with a frenzy of assignments and study (except the summer break).

Another alternative for you would be to cut out the travel and move closer to the university - that might help - could you rent out your house and do that, allowing your son to live with his father?

I dont mean to sound negative, but I just dont see how you can do what you propose while being a custodial parent who lives 2 hours by bus from the university. I know when I look back at my time in college - fulltime - there is no way I could have traveled that distance AND been a parent at the same time AND managed to study. I didnt have either the distance or a child and college was a time consuming challenge.
 
Is there any public funding available to do a distance learning degree? That would be an option that would fit in better with your lifestyle. As Truthseeker says, trying to study on the bus after an exhausting day would be extremely difficult and I think more than likely you'd end up sleeping instead.
 
Have you any friends who live where the Uni is? Then perhaps you could stay over the nights you son is with his father, this would cut out some of the travel. You could get as much of your study done using the college library as possibl, leaving your weekends free.
 
Going to go for it, had it sussed to best of my ability. My son is staying with dad for between 3 to 4 days out of 5 day school week. In reality, he will need to be a little flexible as will I. If I miss the ocassional day within the whole academic year, so be it. Yep the travel will be tiring and an opportunity to sleep, is this not a posative thing?!? And technology is great, I can do audio summaries of lectures and listen to on bus, if I fall asleep, fine, otherwise I'll "passive" read. I do know people in Dub,but would rather not intrude on their space on a regular basis and may speak to them about short term pre-exam situation - so thanks for that. Distance learning great, can't pay for it at mo. Paying mortgage on house can't sell or rent at mo, so won't be paying mortgage and renting in Dub. Never know, something may change there. If had money to rent or stay overnight in Dub 3-4 nights that would be ideal. All great ideas. Have to work with what I have at the moment. Things change and maybe during course I will find solution to travel.
BTW truthseeker, thankyou, I know there are no wild tigers in africa, lets call it poetic license. It's the concept that's the important thing.
I'd like to thank you all for your comments and those who have sent links to websites.
So, I have decided that it is a waste of time to live life in fear and/or regret. To be honest, I've been through more difficult situations i.e. health issues, loss/death,running high end business, loosing business, struggling financially, loosing everything (home, car etc...),moving, starting form scratch again, studying (5 yr dip, 2yr Nat Sc), raising a child (homebirthing, homeschooling),- ALONE! And all in the last 6 years. in fact everything has been centred around my child and he is well adjusted, confident and has been my best teacher. This is something I want to do, I expect it to be challenging. On this occassion,there is some support. This is not just a means to an end, its part of a process of learning, engaging in an area which is from my perspective a vocation, part of my own personal development, challenging, (the impact of this personal growth for me - on my son is a bonus). And our future holds a breadth of opportunities. You can spend 4 years hoping, wishing, longing wistfully or you can take a deep breath and live. Thank you all again.
 
Best of luck with it Anne123.
I know from my OH that things have changed a lot since my college days and all the lecturers provide notes online on the college website now so he concentrates more on listening and understanding in class rather than compulsively writing things down - so that will help if you have to miss the odd day.
Plus most universities are flexible once they see you making a genuine effort they would be helpful if you needed to defer a year or something.
All you can do is try it out - if youre getting the parenting support thatll help you loads, and if you love what you study it may be much easier for you also.

Best of luck.

And please come back and tell us how its going. The biggest factor in any of this is your mindset - if youre happy you can deal with travel and tiredness much more easily.
 
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