Do we have to marry to secure our future in the event of death.Are there any other options at all?

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ciarano

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Hi everyone

Were a couple 16 years(Mid 50's)both Irish .
I never married while my partner is divorced(over 15 year) and she has a daughter 23 now living abroad from that marriage ,

We went to make a will and were advised unless we get married in the eyes of the law we are 2 separate entities and will be subject to higher rate of tax on everything pensions/House etc if wither of us passed away and possible our families could lay claim to our estate.

We love each other but happy to stay as we are but now it feels like a gun to our heads and that we have to marry in a registry office which also has a load of Bureaucracy as they dictate appointment date/weeding date /6 months notification etc etc

I read briefly about De Facto is that something we can avail of OR do we have any other choice at all ?
We both just want to leave straight forward wills to each other

Any advice/alternative options welcome ,

Thanks for reading
 
Thanks for the reply ,

In fairness the people i spoke to at the registry office were very nice its just we had hoped to cut straight to the chase without marrying, but like you confirmed it seems we have no choice ,

Have a good weekend Gordon Gekko
 
ciarano said:
Thanks for the reply ,

In fairness the people i spoke to at the registry office were very nice its just we had hoped to cut straight to the chase without marrying, but like you confirmed it seems we have no choice ,

Have a good weekend Gordon Gekko
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Consider getting married in New York. You only have to give 24 hours notice. You need a witness but that can be anyone, even someone in the queue behind you. Direct flights from Ireland and NYC is great fun, so you could do the wedding and honeymoon all in one.
 
It seems to me that this is just blatant discrimination against single people. Why is that acceptable ?
 
planck said:
It seems to me that this is just blatant discrimination against single people. Why is that acceptable ?
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If you're a single person you're one separate entity.
If you're two single people who aren't married then, being single, you're both separate entities.
If you're a married couple then you're one separate entity too.

So where's the discrimination?
 
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Dr Strangelove said:
Because there are positive social benefits from stable, monogamous relationships.

Also supported by a few clauses in the Constitution.
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I agree with the sentiment but marriage doesn't always equal any over of those things let alone all of them combined.

While I wouldn't be counting chickens any time soon the upcoming referendum might eventually lead to some positive change for the OP (and society in general).

16 years in I'd say the OP could argue while it's not marriage it is a durable relationships.
 
While it's annoying that the only way to benefit from certain inheritance exemptions is marriage, it literally can be a piece of paper, which to get you need to say a few words...like I'm sure that citizenship involves some kind of declaration of allegiance. So you could decide to celebrate your relationship by making a big deal of it, or simply ask two trusted friends/family members and just do the paperwork. Marriage does not have to mean wedding, and hopefully things will change but as the worst case scenario is potentially possible immediately, I would sleep better knowing all was taken care of.
 
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skrooge said:
I agree with the sentiment but marriage doesn't always equal any over of those things let alone all of them combined.

While I wouldn't be counting chickens any time soon the upcoming referendum might eventually lead to some positive change for the OP (and society in general).

16 years in I'd say the OP could argue while it's not marriage it is a durable relationships.
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skrooge said:
I agree with the sentiment but marriage doesn't always equal any over of those things let alone all of them combined.

While I wouldn't be counting chickens any time soon the upcoming referendum might eventually lead to some positive change for the OP (and society in general).

16 years in I'd say the OP could argue while it's not marriage it is a durable relationships.
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The referendum might indeed make some welcome changes to the current definition of a family. In this instance however it would be more prudent to marry because the partners daughter will only become a stepdaughter upon marriage and have the same inheritance rights as a marital child.
 
I think if you separate getting married from having a wedding that would help.

Go to the registry office
Give 3 months notice that you intend to marry
Turn up at the appointment in 3 months any 2 random people can witness the marriage.
Finished

You were probably already given the form so 1/3 of the way there already.

You can have a wedding ceremony when ever you like or never. No one needs to change their name. You are legally married to make a will, be next of kin for each other, that sort of stuff.
 
ciarano said:
Hi everyone

Were a couple 16 years(Mid 50's)both Irish .
I never married while my partner is divorced(over 15 year) and she has a daughter 23 now living abroad from that marriage ,

We went to make a will and were advised unless we get married in the eyes of the law we are 2 separate entities and will be subject to higher rate of tax on everything pensions/House etc if wither of us passed away and possible our families could lay claim to our estate.

We love each other but happy to stay as we are but now it feels like a gun to our heads and that we have to marry in a registry office which also has a load of Bureaucracy as they dictate appointment date/weeding date /6 months notification etc etc

I read briefly about De Facto is that something we can avail of OR do we have any other choice at all ?
We both just want to leave straight forward wills to each other

Any advice/alternative options welcome ,

Thanks for reading
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What kind of a problem is this. There is no gun to you head. And of course you have choices, to get married or not to get married. One of you will be in a right legal mess otherwise. You can sort out your future legal mess by getting married.

Everything legal involves some paperwork, marriage is a contract, it's far easier to get married than it it to enter into a contract to buy a house or to open a bank account. Application form, 2 birth certs, appointment done and dusted.
 
Clamball said:
I think if you separate getting married from having a wedding that would help.

Go to the registry office
Give 3 months notice that you intend to marry
Turn up at the appointment in 3 months any 2 random people can witness the marriage.
Finished

You were probably already given the form so 1/3 of the way there already.

You can have a wedding ceremony when ever you like or never. No one needs to change their name. You are legally married to make a will, be next of kin for each other, that sort of stuff.
Click to expand...

That's what I did, simple and stress free told everybody after it while I was sitting in the Merrion sipping a pint of Guinness.
 
And if you want to do the celebrating piece, head to NY! Very simple admin process, you get a great holiday and a great memory. No need for a fuss when you return, just when people ask did you have a nice trip, you say yes, we did the Empire State building, got married at City Hall, did a carriage ride in Central Park etc. See who notices!! And then you have all the legal protections that marriage offers without all the fuss of a wedding if that is what you are trying to avoid.
 
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