Church etiquette re. donations

Had a similar situation. Explained to the priest that our extended family had decided to stop all donations a few years ago due to the various abuse allegations etc. He was happy with us making a donation to St V De P and coming to our post mass family barbeque! We then gave him a good bottle of wine on leaving! There are many good and Christian priests in the RC Church, but, we shouldn't contribute to the Church's legal fees. I drive by the Archbishops acres and All Hallows in Drumcondra every day! Why not sell this and use the funds property. Give it to Fr McVerry and similar great priests who are actually making a difference to lives of the weaker members of our society.
 
I'm going to defend housekeepers first as my mother in law is one, (and yes, she does make a fine cup of tea.) The house has 3 priests living in it, one a bit doddery (and she's heard all the Fr Ted jokes) but there are usually guests staying there as well, eg missionery priests/nuns/students visiting the parish or parish dinners/events she has to organise, eg, after the confirmation/communion the parish puts lunch on for all of the teachers involved, which is a lot of work but appreciated as a way of saying thanks.

My Parish is a cathedral one and costs in excess of €550k a year to run. That includes the cost of running the cathedral, community centre(used by many local groups at a subsidised rate), parish office, light, heat, insurance, accountants etc and many of the costs a normal business would have. I don't think people actually always appreciate the costs involved. Sunday church collections only bring in around €200k. Therefore the rest has to be made up elsewhere, lottos, sponsership, other collections, donations etc. Fund raising is becoming almost a full time job in itself

If people don't like paying for it, don't go, simple as that
 
Mpsox said:
If people don't like paying for it, don't go, simple as that
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I agree with yourself and Liaconn on this.

BTW I only brought up housekeepers as an example but my overall point is that the church, as a whole, has money at it's disposal, or that can freed up one way or another. I'm not saying parishioners shouldn't contribute at all but...

Put it this way, as (I'm guessing) a regular mass goer, does it not bother you a bit that your church parish struggles to break even but that the church, as a whole, would rather ask you, repeatedly (via not only collections but these 'donations' in question) to fund it even though funding could be probably be provided if there was the will or inclination?
 
Caveat said:
Put it this way, as (I'm guessing) a regular mass goer, does it not bother you a bit that your church parish struggles to break even but that the church, as a whole, would rather ask you, repeatedly (via not only collections but these 'donations' in question) to fund it even though funding could be probably be provided if there was the will or inclination?
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In fairness, they diocese does make a contribution. However most of any diocese assets is tied up in fixed assets and perhaps the one thing we've learnt in the current receession in Ireland is that fixed assts does not necessarily equate to income. Even if they went off and sold their assets, this is a finite supply and will run out eventually.

People may not also realise the contributions made by Parishes in other areas, for example, some Parishes pay for the phone in the school and contribute to other bills, I know of one that paid €30k this year as it's contribution to a school building project. I know some people will say " so they should" given their position in the education system but that money still has to come from somewhere

The reality is, it all costs money and as I said before, if you're not prepared to pay your share, then don't get involved. If you can't afford to pay your share, that's different, but you can get involved in other areas instead, volunteering for example for the Vincent de Paul or other church supported activitie
 
decembersal said:
Hi Guys,
I have asked my local church to say a mass for the first anniversary of a relative. The Sacristan never mentioned anything re. donations. I was just wondering what the norm is?
Cheers
DS
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I stopped having masses said by my local parish about thirty years ago for a couple of reasons first one...young man killed in car crash had a girlfriend and very young baby which was accepted and treasured by both families.

Funeral service in church the curate did the service and when the names of the greiving family were mentioned there was no inclusion of the baby and his mother it was just his immediate family even though she was in among them.

Another reason was because that same priest announced in church one day that the cost of masses were going up from 3 pounds to 5.

This same poor curate had a psoriasis problem and had to head for the sun for relief for a couple of months.
 
franmac said:
I stopped having masses said by my local parish about thirty years ago for a couple of reasons first one...young man killed in car crash had a girlfriend and very young baby which was accepted and treasured by both families.

Funeral service in church the curate did the service and when the names of the greiving family were mentioned there was no inclusion of the baby and his mother it was just his immediate family even though she was in among them.

Another reason was because that same priest announced in church one day that the cost of masses were going up from 3 pounds to 5.

This same poor curate had a psoriasis problem and had to head for the sun for relief for a couple of months.
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I can accept you feeling angry and annoyed with this particular priest (who sounds very insensitive even taking into account the different moral climate 30 years ago). But I presume he's long gone from the Parish now, so why are you still basing your actions around the bad behaviour of one individual from a long time ago?
 
liaconn said:
I can accept you feeling angry and annoyed with this particular priest (who sounds very insensitive even taking into account the different moral climate 30 years ago). But I presume he's long gone from the Parish now, so why are you still basing your actions around the bad behaviour of one individual from a long time ago?
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On the second point I made I thought it was disgraceful that the clergy could
put a price on saying a mass which at that time they said a lot more than they do now and the mass a person paid for was going to be said as part of the priest's job or vocation.

A donation of how much one can afford is surely the way it should be and most people would abide by that.
 
Our local priest often talks about people getting married that he has not seen and will not see in Church again for quite awhile and he genuinely feels very sad about as he says "using" the Church when they need it and everything has to be just right for them on their big day and I agree with him.
 
As a matter of interest, do posters here defending the concept of donations genuinely believe that the money is always used for the upkeep of the church and doesn't sometimes get misdirected?
 
Caveat said:
As a matter of interest, do posters here defending the concept of donations genuinely believe that the money is always used for the upkeep of the church and doesn't sometimes get misdirected?
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Course it gets sometimes gets misdirected!! We had a parish priest who used to joke in the bookies that he was spending the collection money on a little flutter.

If people are handing donation money over with no receipts given then you can be 100% sure that not all of that money finds its way to its intended purpose. However, where is it written that donations are for the upkeep for the church only?
 
Caveat said:
As a matter of interest, do posters here defending the concept of donations genuinely believe that the money is always used for the upkeep of the church and doesn't sometimes get misdirected?
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Obviously I can't speak for every single priest, but my mother is involved in her Parish Church and donations there are certainly not 'misdirected'. I would believe that the majority of donations are used to proper effect.

I agree with Ash's comment re some people just 'using' the Church. I have even heard people say 'they should be glad we're getting married in the Church'. Why, if it means nothing to them except a picturesque background?
 
Caveat said:
As a matter of interest, do posters here defending the concept of donations genuinely believe that the money is always used for the upkeep of the church and doesn't sometimes get misdirected?
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My personal opinion is that the collections go towards the church but mass cards and weddings etc go to the priest who conducts the ceremony.

From a small town where the whole population attends funerals and if one third of them pays for mass cards from the two priests in the parish when will they ever get time to say them?
 
I presume they will include a number of people in each Mass or do they send some of the money to mission priests to say the Masses? Think they did that before.
 
Personally i've no objection to donations for marriages etc, as others have said if you don't want to pay then don't go to a church. However i thought it was a bit outrageous when i heard that a local church was charging €1000 for marriages, imo due to it's picturesque location and long waiting list whereas another larger (and presumably therefore more expensive to maintain) church was charging €300. My cynical mind thinks they may be taking advantage of the popularity of the church.
 
My old parish church was very small and picturesque and, consequently, loads of people from other parishes wanted to get married there. It was getting to the stage where the priests were just run off their feet performing wedding ceremonies. Eventually, they made a rule that if a couple were not from the Parish and wished to use the Church they would have to organise their own Priest to perform the ceremony. I think that made sense as opposed to looking for extra money.
 
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