I had a great one a few weeks ago with some guy calling to try and sell me some on line movie package. He said it wasn’t netflicks but some Irish version of the same type of service… Some company I have never heard of before or since. I did a websearch for them and again nothing so this guy was definitely a chancer.
The recession really brings them out!
He kind of snuck up on me. I drove the car into the drive with the kid in the child seat in the back. I got out of the car and as I always do I went and open the front door first as its hard to open the front door with the kid in my arms.
I turned to go back to the car and he was standing at the back passenger door with his elbow on the roof and a broad smile on his face. I kinda nudged him out of the way to get the small fella out of the car while he went through his spiel. He was what some women might describe as a bronzed Adonis. Suave looking, gelled hair and dressed in a suit that you might see on George Clooney.
Him: Hi, my name is Brad and I am here to offer you the deal of a lifetime, yes sir the deal of a lifetime… (while he spoke using 1950s American lingo he had the accent of a West Cork farmer… seriously)
Me: No thanks
Him: Sir, I kinda understand your busy and I can see that you have your hands full there with that young whippersnapper but please hear me out.
Kid: Dada, whose that?
Him: Sir, our records show that you have a high speed internet connection in your lovely home and I am here today selling a product that will utilise that high speed connection to the maximum.
Kid: Dada, whose that (getting louder)?
Me: No thanks
Him: I can see your sceptical sir so let me explain. You have heard of netflicks haven’t you? Well I am here today representing an Irish company that does the same thing as they do, only cheaper and faster! Yes Sir!
Me: No thanks
Him: Netflicks charge €25 a month (I knew he was lying here) but we charge a mere €19.99.
Kid: Dada, I said whose that!
Him: He’s got a voice on him. And that’s the glory of this package sir, there are so many movies on this package for kids that he will just have a dandy ole time.
Me: Nobody son
Me: No thanks
Him: Well sir I didn’t want to play this card but you’re driving a hard bargain so you are forcing me to play it. Sir, this package of movies has 100s and 100s of porn movies. 100s of um.
Me: (Hesitating for a second or two…) Eh… No thanks
Door closed!