Hi all,
We got a JS almost 5 years ago, which included the "full and final" clause. Everything is mostly amicable enough. We have 2 kids (8 and 6) who live with their mother. When I mentioned before Xmas that we should move along and finalise the divorce, she said she wanted me to commit to private education for secondary for the kids (I estimate about €10-15k p.a. for both kids, which would be split between us). I said I simply can't afford it.
I pay 800pm maintenance for both kids. Which leaves me with approx €3200 net pm before I pay for rent (€1300) /car etc. Between children's allowance, maintenance, salary and Single Parents allowance, bonus etc, she has approx €6800 net pm (she has sent me the figures), of which she spends €1500pm on mortgage.
When I brought up getting the Divorce finalised again a few months later, she said that if I want a "pain-free" divorce, she has been in contact with a number of new solicitors and she wants me to increase the maintenance as she can't afford to live on the money she has every month. The kids are with me approx 1/3rd of the year between every second wknd (we stay with my elderly parents those weekends), half of all school holidays and usually 2/3 weeks during the summer. I also work longer hours, so I can leave early and spend more time with them, I collect them from childcare every Weds and Fri about 3pm and I collect them after sports again on Thurs evenings at 7.30pm going straight from work. I also make use of unpaid parental leave (about 3/4 weeks per year) to spend more time with kids each year, which of course affects my take home pay some months.
The JS took almost 2 years, and was the most stressful thing I've ever experienced, and I just want her to leave me alone at this stage and let us both move along. We both ended up paying over €20k for lawyers/barristers each after she refused to do mediation for the JS and lawyered up immediately, in fact she gave me her solicitors card the day she asked to get separated.
I don't want to spend what's left of my savings (about what I paid for JS) and go through all of this again, and I am only able to save a small amount each month - which usually goes on the kids on a holiday abroad every second year.
So I suppose my question is, what are my options here, if I try and push through with divorce, do people think that the judge will order an increase in maintenance or not? Or would the judge think that she is a bit mad, saying that she can't live off that money each month?
As mentioned in some of the other threads, I'd also like to get the divorce completed, so I can at least feel some closure.
Any advice, ideas or comments much appreciated.
Thanks
We got a JS almost 5 years ago, which included the "full and final" clause. Everything is mostly amicable enough. We have 2 kids (8 and 6) who live with their mother. When I mentioned before Xmas that we should move along and finalise the divorce, she said she wanted me to commit to private education for secondary for the kids (I estimate about €10-15k p.a. for both kids, which would be split between us). I said I simply can't afford it.
I pay 800pm maintenance for both kids. Which leaves me with approx €3200 net pm before I pay for rent (€1300) /car etc. Between children's allowance, maintenance, salary and Single Parents allowance, bonus etc, she has approx €6800 net pm (she has sent me the figures), of which she spends €1500pm on mortgage.
When I brought up getting the Divorce finalised again a few months later, she said that if I want a "pain-free" divorce, she has been in contact with a number of new solicitors and she wants me to increase the maintenance as she can't afford to live on the money she has every month. The kids are with me approx 1/3rd of the year between every second wknd (we stay with my elderly parents those weekends), half of all school holidays and usually 2/3 weeks during the summer. I also work longer hours, so I can leave early and spend more time with them, I collect them from childcare every Weds and Fri about 3pm and I collect them after sports again on Thurs evenings at 7.30pm going straight from work. I also make use of unpaid parental leave (about 3/4 weeks per year) to spend more time with kids each year, which of course affects my take home pay some months.
The JS took almost 2 years, and was the most stressful thing I've ever experienced, and I just want her to leave me alone at this stage and let us both move along. We both ended up paying over €20k for lawyers/barristers each after she refused to do mediation for the JS and lawyered up immediately, in fact she gave me her solicitors card the day she asked to get separated.
I don't want to spend what's left of my savings (about what I paid for JS) and go through all of this again, and I am only able to save a small amount each month - which usually goes on the kids on a holiday abroad every second year.
So I suppose my question is, what are my options here, if I try and push through with divorce, do people think that the judge will order an increase in maintenance or not? Or would the judge think that she is a bit mad, saying that she can't live off that money each month?
As mentioned in some of the other threads, I'd also like to get the divorce completed, so I can at least feel some closure.
Any advice, ideas or comments much appreciated.
Thanks