Elderly mother of 94 presently living in a nursing home and refusing to meet us anywhere near half way on what is going to happen to her house. She is paying huge money monthly as she was entitled to very little on fair deals scheme because she has a large house. Her pensions are going into her bank but these will only sustain her for a certain amount of time and as an only child i feel very stressed as she has flatly refused to sell her house or rent it. Enduring POA is presently going through so I will then be able to make decisions but I was hoping that she would at least give me the go ahead rather than making me feel like the worst daughter possible. I have tried everything over the years but she refused all kinds of help and took no advice from anyone. Next year we will either have to sell or rent the house and I was wondering if its easy to rent an old house needing work done to it in the current market. We just want to have enough to maintain the gardens, hedges etc because presently we are paying bills for 2 houses and its costing us so much. Any advice appreciated. Discussing this with her is out of the question as its her way or no way and she never considers the others persons situation.
94 year old in nursing home refuses to sell family home
- Thread starter Concert
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Brendan Burgess
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That is a tough one.
Is there anyone whose opinion she respects? A doctor? A priest? A family friend? A solicitor?
Is she leaving the house to you in her will? Could she gift it to you now instead? Could you tell her that it will help for tax purposes?
I would be concerned that you pay a lot of bills on her behalf and then she cuts you out of her will because you are the worst daughter in the World.
Brendan
Is there anyone whose opinion she respects? A doctor? A priest? A family friend? A solicitor?
Is she leaving the house to you in her will? Could she gift it to you now instead? Could you tell her that it will help for tax purposes?
I would be concerned that you pay a lot of bills on her behalf and then she cuts you out of her will because you are the worst daughter in the World.
Brendan
No her doctor advised her years ago and also her solicitor. She is extremely paranoid about everything and we cant get through at all. My husband is blue in the face explaining about tax etc but she doesn't want to know. I accept she wont change but I don't want to see her place go into disrepair either and yes she has a will and house will be mine but it would be my intention that it would be divided between my two children to give them a start .
It’s not clear, is your Mother in the nursing home under Fair Deal and benefiting very little from it ?
Or was it decided, because she was entitled to very little, not to take the Fair Deal route and pay her own way herself ?
If in under Fair Deal you might want to consider carefully before renting or selling your Mothers home.
My father's home was vacant for two years while he was in a nursing home. He had a burst pipe in the attic and a break-in during that time. Considerable damage was done to his front door plus the house was ransacked. Because he was not living in the house his home insurance payments increased. I am sure that you have discussed these things happening to her house with her. If so what was her reaction and what would her reaction be if you told her that her house had been broken into?
If you sell her house and put the proceeds in a bank account she will continue to pay huge sums to the nursing home until she reaches the €36k threshold ie 7.5% per annum of what cash she has plus 80% of her income ! If you don't sell her house, and she runs down her existing cash to the €36k threshold, her contribution will be limited to 80% of her income plus 7.5% of the value of her home for 3 years ( ie there is a 3 year cap on her contribution when her house is her only asset, so 7.5% x 3 or 22.5% in total ! ) , which can be borrowed from the state. See fair deal scheme. Use her existing money now to keep her house maintained ie heating on, gardens maintained etc ie the basic stuff that needs to be done.
Sounds like you didn't go ahead with the Fair deal scheme. If not, then proceed immediately with this as this will take care fo the fact that the house will only be sold on her death and she will be limited to a certain amount of her earniongs now. There os a loan facility with the FDS also which will pay your mother/s lianbility for the first three years.
Hi Concert,
It would be hugely helpful for this discussion if you would post (a) the value of your mum's house, (b) the approx amount of her weekly savings and (c) the amount of any savings, but in broad terms it's probably best to make a Fair Deal application.
It would be hugely helpful for this discussion if you would post (a) the value of your mum's house, (b) the approx amount of her weekly savings and (c) the amount of any savings, but in broad terms it's probably best to make a Fair Deal application.
'Thank you' everyone and yes she went from hospital into nursing home so is under Fair Deal but is still paying over 3000 monthly because she has savings and house in her name. I don't have access to her funds presently until acting POA comes through and she writes her own cheques. While she is capable at the same time she is not if you know what I mean. We are looking after house, electricity, grass and hedge cutting and paying all bills at moment and we cant get through to her. All I want is her approval from her to rent or sell. The monies will be going into her account but we just cant get through. We can't justify paying huge bills for our home and hers. Her hedges alone cost us E1500 recently
Concert. Assuming your mother is being assessed under the Fair Deal scheme and is paying 80% of her income plus 7.5 of assets, I will deduce that the house is worth a fair bit. If you/she sell the house, the cash it produces will be assessed at 7.5% until her death. Something to think about.
T McGibney
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Sounds like a total ripoff. There are substantial farms where the hedgecutting bills wouldn't come anywhere near that.
Have you asked her would she like to move back into her house or perhaps move to another nursing home as her funds are running low? Maybe she is holding off for you to offer taking her into your home?
Have you presented her with her utility bills and gardening bills?
Have you presented her with her utility bills and gardening bills?
terrysgirl33
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Why is she not giving you the money to pay these bills?
Maybe I'm missing something but how will you be able to do this, if she won't release it? Is the house not now beyond your control, until you actually inherit it. I've seen quite a few houses left sit empty for years, for similar reasons. In some situations maintaining the property to a high level, might not be a prudent if someone else, or the state benefits. For older people the value in things is often not be financial. So it can be hard to let go of emotional attachments, or their independence, Real or imagined. That's can be difficult for younger people to appreciate.