Christmas decoration thrown out

Hi

Just looking for general opinions on something. We moved out of our rental flat a few months ago, two of our friends then took over the flat. On the day of the move as I was lifting a large box of xmas decorations, the box split and I had no spares. We told the friend that we would have to leave it in the wardrobe and would pick it up as soon as we got our new house sorted - they said fine. These Xmas decorations weren't cheap by the way, I had collected them over many years and newbridge silver and also good glass and handmade decorations, some of which my mam had given to me. I also had large xmas ornaments (expensive) etc - anway we have been in constant touch with friends, drinks etc but 4got all about decorations. Anyway went to get them yesterday and one of the friends told us that they had thrown all of the decorations out - every single one, without so much as a phonecall. They told me sorry but I needed room for clothes. I am devastated at this - this is our first Xmas in a new house and all of the things I had collected are now gone. My question is this - am I right to be so upset, should I expect some sort of compensaton or at least offer of some?.

ney001 said:

My question is this - am I right to be so upset, should I expect some sort of compensaton or at least offer of some?.

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Yes. You should take a civil case against them for misappropriating your Xmas decorations and for the trauma caused as a result. I'd imagine that this is worth at least €10K in damages.

Hi Ney001,

I dont think you have much comeback on this. As you said, you've been in constant touch with the friends and never asked for them. You are right to be upset, but I dont know if you are right to blame them.

If you ask for some sort of compensation you'll probably upset them. So you need to ask yourself if losing the friendship (possible outcome) is worth the compensation. Also compensation will not replace the sentimentality aspect of it anyway. Personally if it was me I would try and put it behind me.

I dont mean to sound unsympathetic, I can see how easily this could have happened but I think you need to bare in mind that your friends didnt realize the value of the decorations and that as they were your possessions they are your responsibility.

cas.

Don't think you're entitled to compensation and the point about losing a friendship is valid but..........a simple phone call?? You're right to be annoyed IMO.

The thing is, a lot of people dont spend money on decorations and they are regarded as "junk". The box was damaged, full of old decorations, I can easily see how they could have gotten chucked out on a clear out day.

I wouldnt dream of dumping something beloning to anyone, let alone a friend, without clearing it with them. A phonecall takes seconds and costs pence (cents).

ClubMan said:

Yes. You should take a civil case against them for misappropriating your Xmas decorations and for the trauma caused as a result. I'd imagine that this is worth at least €10K in damages.

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Don't need smart comments about this today! - i'm extremely upset that a large and expensive collection of decorations has been thrown out - some were old yes but believe me they weren't old bits of tatty tinsel - these were all individually wrapped up and labled and I can honestly say that every single ornament had a story behind it i.e when we got it, where we got it etc - they represented first X-mas in first apartment, new additions to the family etc - It was quite a collection - I am not even going to attempt to replace them - I wouldn't know where to begin. When I say compensation Clubman I am not looking for damages for trauma etc - I am disgusted however that they did not offer to at least get a gift voucher or something small by way of an apology. I also had larger individually bubble wrapped window ornaments, two of which I bought last year for about €60 each. As poster said - money couldn't begin to replace these - but I have to start somewhere. I couldn't stop crying last night thinking about everything that was lost. I know we should have picked them up sooner but we were renovating the house and didn't want to leave them just lying around. I'm not a collector and I'm not materialistic but these Christmas decorations were so important - I am truly dreading Christmas now

Of course they should have rang, but was a bit cheeky of you expecting your friends to store a box of Xmas decorations in a wardrobe, whatever about a loft, but it must have been inconvenient for them.

these Christmas decorations were so important - I am truly dreading Christmas now

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You have to be joking?

Cheeky nothing - I paid the deposit on the flat and the first months rent as they needed a bit of help! all this despite the fact that we were in the middle of a house move ourselves.

And yes SarahMc I can barely type I'm laughing so much - very funny situation I find myself in

I suspect that, legally, you would be entitled to damages - not too sure under what head. Possibly under negligence.
Your friend voluntarily accepted a duty to take care of these ornaments for an unspecified amount of time, and then intentionally breached that duty.

Not too sure that taking such a course of action is worth the friendship though.

Superman said:

I suspect that, legally, you would be entitled to damages - not too sure under what head. Possibly under negligence.
Your friend voluntarily accepted a duty to take care of these ornaments for an unspecified amount of time, and then intentionally breached that duty.

Not too sure that taking such a course of action is worth the friendship though.

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As I said I really don't care about this friendship anymore and if i'm honest I would never actively seek compensation or damages - I would have thought however that they would offer maybe a voucher even a small amount by way of apology - but not the case I'm afraid. I will be ceasing the friendship with the person who threw out the items (not just because of this)I see this as a gross lack of respect for me considering all of the help I have given to the person over the years. I also know that people will tell me to just get on with it and I will but god - if anyone knew how valuable this stuff was to me, they'd know how I feel today!

As you said yourself, no money can replace them. I know you are really upset, a similar thing happened me a few years back. Someone completely formatted my pc without even calling me, I was totally devastated. All my stuff was deleted. Its just so hard to believe that people wouldn't even take 20 seconds to call and consult you.
I know it hurts, and it's going to be very hard to forgive them, but you'll have to just let it go now because you don't have a choice.

On a happier note, you can ask everyone to give you Christmas decorations as Christmas presents this year, then you'll have loads of happy memories for years to come.

Thanks - I know you're right - but I have just been crying all day over this. because we're in our first house this Xmas I was particularly looking forward to putting up decorations - I have been living in a building site for months now and I couldn't wait to brighten the place up. This is the first Christmas for which we will be completely broke (renovating the house - no money to spare) - I think that's why it's hit me so hard - even if I could replace them I wouldn't have the money to do it and all for the sake of 30 cent - PS these 'friends' are on the phone at least every second day anyway - usually looking for something!

You'll get loads of cheap ones in the January sales. Chin up, at least you have a new house, it will be a really memorable Christmas even without decorations.

Hey there,

I think personally you have a right to be annoyed...they said they would keep them for you and then they did the opposite...of course they should have asked you first.

I think it makes it worse that they you are in contact with them constantly and they couldn't bring it up once...do you mind if we throw out the old box of decorations or do you want them back....? that doesn't take long.

I know you won't want to think about this now...but it's november, you have another few weeks to accept whats happened...when you feel a bit better go out and get some more decorations or do as another poster suggested, and have friends give you some...you'll get a nice collection then. I know its' devastating for you now but there are a lot worse things that could happen, trust me. Go out and buy some more and get yourself some happy.

I'm not trying to be insensitive when I say this but I find it hard to reconcile your apparent emotional attachment to these decorations with the fact that you "4got all about decorations" for a number of months - if they were that special surely you would have collected them sooner.

From your friends point of view how were they to know that these items held such meaning for you - did you explain it when you left the box with them ?

Finally, don't ruin Christmas for your partner by focusing on this issue - your first Christmas in your first house is a fabulous time with or without decorations.

I shouldn't have said 'I forgot all about decorations' - this isn't exactly true - I didn't forget about them - I simply didn't want to leave them lying around the house that we are renovating so I took my time in collecting them - I admit that. The fact is that one phone call would have saved all this - It is well known between my friends and family how much I value Xmas and the decorations - in fact this friend helped me to take them down last year!.

Moving house can be stressful, also it sounds like these people are adding to your stress in general. If it were me I'd write these people off and draw a line under the whole issue. Ultimately it's only stuff, put it behind you and move on, don't let it ruin another day let alone ruin Christmas for you and yours.

Michaelm - I am going to do just that - I am finally going to get these sponges out of my life - this was the last straw for me. I know I'll get over this - I'm not normally an emotional person - just been very stressed with everything for the last few months - i'll leave it for a few weeks and then start to replace them I guess.

Thanks for all advice

Ney001 - I can see why you are upset as it is also the fact that they thought so little of you that they couldn't pick up the phone and clear it with you.
Soem people are just not attached to things and may genuinely not realise how this would upset you.
On the other hand some people are just takers and not givers and are willing to take handouts but not willing to return a favour like minding the box in return. Write them off if this is one of many incidents but not if this is the first time they have done something like this.
Chin up and try to remain positive.