Mortgage + Break up

Hi ,

I recently bought a house with my EX girlfriend . After being in the house for 6 months the relationship broke down. After trying everything i could to get back and make the relationship work etc she reveiled that she didnt love me any more and would never want to go back. She didnt want to give it anthother go even though we had been going out for 7 years and had lived together for 4. I was willing to marry her and have kids and never cheated etc etc,

My ex wants to take over mortgage stay in house and get lodgers in to cover my half. Her parents have gone gaurentor and bank has approved their application . I am about 2 weeks away from signing off on the house and am having second toughts. The whole process took a little over 3 months but in that time I was not really in the correct frame off mind to deal with this logically and was happy to get out of the situation not being in debt,

I am just wondering if I am doing whats best. We got the house for 300,000 and its a three bedroom semi . If we sold right now we would most likely be in negative equity . I moved back to my parents house over xmas and am feeling a bit resentful that she has oppertunity to keep the house. They have agreed to 'buy me out' but I am just getting back the money my parents chipped in which I have since found out was basically my dads pension so not in a postition to buy a place of my own and am really walking away with nothing after spending a year looking for places and doing diy on the new house.

Would it be worth renting the house and waiting till the market picks up and then selling?

Any advice would be appriciated.

In my opinion, you are very lucky to be getting back anything considering the house is most probably in negative equity (you are both responsible for the shortfall). As it stands you can start your life with a clean slate. Good luck.

+1. Aside from the personal feelings (and you may well have been rushed into a decision) you are actually very lucky to be walking away with no riability for the negative equity. Lots of people are in a position where they can't buy each other out (as in they can't get a mortgage).

If you rent it out, then you will possibly be liable for stamp duty (as would become an investment property) and you & your ex are tied to eachother until you can sell up. Maybe would be better to walk away?

+1 take their hand off, do nothing that might interfere with this deal going through (you might want to edit out the information in your post relating to the location and description of the property).

Ok :-( Bummer broke heart plus broken bank balance!

I believe we could cover the mortgage with lodgers which is essentially what she will be doing. Is there anyway I could legally get back everything I put in and make them sell up in a few years or anything like that?

Jilted_john said:

Ok :-( Bummer broke heart plus broken bank balance!

I believe we could cover the mortgage with lodgers which is essentially what she will be doing. Is there anyway I could legally get back everything I put in and make them sell up in a few years or anything like that?

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You could refuse to let her buy you out. Then you are both stuck being owners of the house & you are jointly responsible for making sure the mortgage gets paid, even though you are not living in the house. Don't forget about tax implications too.

Essentially, what you put into the house is gone - negative equity has swallowed it up. You are actually very lucky to be getting your Dad's money back depending on the % of negative equity.

If you are hoping that you make turn a profit in the future, then by all means you could wait it out. But if it were me - I know what I would do.....

Yeah I mean I am leaning toward doing that but it was just the that I felt like I agreed to do all this when I wasnt thinking straight. And what if i wanted to put in a bid for the taking over the mortgage from her? Is that depending on whether she is willing to accept that offer? Or is it up to who the back thinks is in a better position?

And what are the tax implicaions?

Jilted_john said:

Yeah I mean I am leaning toward doing that but it was just the that I felt like I agreed to do all this when I wasnt thinking straight. And what if i wanted to put in a bid for the taking over the mortgage from her? Is that depending on whether she is willing to accept that offer? Or is it up to who the back thinks is in a better position?

And what are the tax implicaions?

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Okay. Basically, if you & she were both first time buyers, you didn't pay any stamp duty? That is only the case if it's your principle private residence. Once your rent it out (within 5 years I think) then you are considered an investor & have to pay stamp duty. Which could be a lot.

On whether you could get a mortgage, you'd have to approach the bank. I assume from your post that her parents are putting up some money to make up the negative equity & give you back the money you put in? I say this as you would have to do the same....

Can you give us some figures? How much is left on the mortgage?

Ok thanks for this,

The house cost 300,000 we paid 24,000 deposit and we have paid off roughly another say 7 months at first years rate which was approx 930 a month. I dont have the exact figures cause everything is in the house still.

We spent another 4000 on new windows. the house was valued at 450,000 in 2007 and has had a lot of work done since then including an extension to the garage. The house was rented before we moved in and as i said is three bedrooms but the garage was converted in to a granny flat so another lodger was in there.

Imagine that you have €275k left on mortgage (give or take) - you really need to call the bank & find out what settlement figure on mortgage is.

Then, you could apply for a mortgage for that amount - but you might find it difficult if:

A. The bank think that the mortgage is too big for you to take on yourself
B. The house is in serious negative equity.

So there are 2 things you need to find out:

1. Settlement figure for mortgage
2. What house has been valued at (your ex will have needed to get a valuation in order to get mortgage approval)

She can't buy you out unless you agree. It may be that you can't buy her out but it does seem like they've moved things on a lot without you fully knowing the financial position.

Other than the deposit, how much money did she put in re. the work/extension - was it 50:50?

Extension was built before we moved in .

Should I have been informed of settlement figure and value of house etc?

As far as i know here father who works part time has gone gaurentor and put up a life insurance policy and maybe his house .

i actually make slighty more then her at this stage and my father works full time , does that give me an edge at all?

You are considering taking over the mortgage on a negative equity house.

WHY??????????

Jilted_john said:

Extension was built before we moved in .

Should I have been informed of settlement figure and value of house etc?

As far as i know here father who works part time has gone gaurentor and put up a life insurance policy and maybe his house .

i actually make slighty more then her at this stage and my father works full time , does that give me an edge at all?

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The settlement figure - just call up the bank & ask. It's your mortgage too!

On the valuation she got - I am not sure whether the bank will give this to you.

I don't think it's a question of who has better chance of getting a mortgage - you need to agree what to do. I assume you have no legal agreement as to what would happen if you split.

IF you want to try & keep the house yourself, you need to get mortgage approval & then try to come to an agreement with your ex......

You are considering taking over the mortgage on a negative equity house.

WHY??????????

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Cause i put so much effort in to it and it wont be negative for ever?
Seriously it broke my heart so much leaving that place.

Plus all she has to do is meet d next sucker and bish bosh they have a gaf , why can't I have that option?

Jilted_john said:

Cause i put so much effort in to it and it wont be negative for ever?
Seriously it broke my heart so much leaving that place.

Plus all she has to do is meet d next sucker and bish bosh they have a gaf , why can't I have that option?

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Ok - off with the rose tinted specs here.

It may not be negative forever, but it probably will be for a long time and you are getting a chance to make a fresh start and lose existing debt plus get back money you put in.

The next sucker will have a gaf bish bosh and take on the negative equity of that so he truly will be a sucker.

Edited to add - sorry for your troubles btw, but you need to think of the future, if you stay in this mortgage, then meet a nice girl down the road who you want to marry and buy a house with - you may not be able to get another mortgage if the current one is still on a property in negative equity.

Jilted_john said:

Cause i put so much effort in to it and it wont be negative for ever?
Seriously it broke my heart so much leaving that place.

Plus all she has to do is meet d next sucker and bish bosh they have a gaf , why can't I have that option?

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You appear to be letting your heart overrule your head.

truthseeker said:

Ok - off with the rose tinted specs here.

It may not be negative forever, but it probably will be for a long time and you are getting a chance to make a fresh start and lose existing debt plus get back money you put in.

The next sucker will have a gaf bish bosh and take on the negative equity of that so he truly will be a sucker.

Edited to add - sorry for your troubles btw, but you need to think of the future, if you stay in this mortgage, then meet a nice girl down the road who you want to marry and buy a house with - you may not be able to get another mortgage if the current one is still on a property in negative equity.

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Also, your girlfriend may find it very difficult to get lodgers. They are like 'hens teeth' at present.

Best of luck for the future

You are right to be questioning your original decision especially seeing that it was made at a time when you may not have been thinking clearly, but I think that you should not change your mind, & go ahead & let her buy you out.

It’s perfectly natural to feel resentful regarding the fact that she would now have her own place if & when she meets someone else, but that could lead to resentment down the line on her behalf if she does move a new partner in.

Your relationship is now over, so, if you refused to sell & you both kept the house on you would still have to have contact with her on a pretty regular basis. You don’t need that. You need to be able to get on with your own life & get over her in time. The only way to do this is to cut all ties now.

You will have your deposit money back, which you can return to your parents if they want it. Any money that you have spent on mortgage repayments you would probably have spent if renting a place anyway. I think that if you can walk away debt free & with your deposit back you should be very happy (or at least relieved).

Yes, she will have a house & you won’t, but she will have the headache of coming up with the mortgage, mortgage protection, insurance & utility bills, plus the added hassle of tenants, lack of privacy etc. Try to concentrate on the positives rather than the negatives of the situation.

If you bought her out, you would have the above hassles, plus the house may bring back too many memories for you, & you may find yourself with a home in which you are unhappy & unable to sell due to negative equity. This is the last thing you need – you have been through enough.

So, I suggest you go along with the original plan, take your money & run as fast as your legs will carry you. It's best that the breakup occurred now rather than a few years down the road. Concentrate on rebuilding your life & enjoy being single for a while.

Best of luck!

My 2 cents:
Give your Dad back his retirement money. Thats the key point in all of this.
You have age on your side to take stock and start to build up again. Don't waste the opportunity to start afresh as a poster said above - with a clean slate.

Jilted_john said:

Plus all she has to do is meet d next sucker and bish bosh they have a gaf , why can't I have that option?

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You can. You can buy your own gaff on the open market for less than you will spend buying her out of this one, given that it is in negative equity.