what do you consider cheating in a relationship?

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bopster

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just wondering what everybodies ideas of cheating on a partner are? would you consider meeting someone from the opposite sex for a drink, you like their company but not really interested romatically but the person in question would love to be with you. and this person is a randomer met in a pub the week before...partner has no idea about meeting??
 
Probably in wrong section..but I couldn't resist.

Don't put yourself in temptations way. you are going on a "date", thats bad news and you know it.

How would you feel if it were your partner doing it?
 
its not me who wants to do it! its just happened to a friend of mine, she found out her partner was meeting this girl....he insists its not cheating, she insists it is....he says she should be proud becuase he could of done more if he'd wanted to!
 
If you are meeting a 'randomer' in a pub and a week later going out for a drink with them then clearly this is a date, at the very least the randomer considers it a date as he/she is clearly interested in a relationship. By going out with them alone you would be giving them the impression that this is going to go somewhere i.e leading them on. There are two reason as to why you would do this either [1] big boost for the ego having somebody chasing you [2] you also fancy that person (no matter what you tell yourself). The ' I'm not interested in them, like them as a friend thing' is the oldest chestnut in the world! .

It's not quite cheating but it's about three drinks away from it! :D

Rule of thumb..... If you feel guilty then you usually are!
 
Totally agree with ney001 - if you play with fire, chances are you get burnt...
 
"he says she should be proud becuase he could of done more if he'd wanted to! "

What did she say to that? id know what would happen to me if told my gf that.
what sort of a man goes for a drink with some girl hes just meet a week ago with the intention of becoming friends but nothing more.

hes either gay and dosnt realise it or is playing your poor friend for fool.
 
i should mention how she found out about all this -checked his phone sunday morning, opened a msg recived that morning from the randomer girl saying that its a shame you have a grilfriend becuase i really like you, maybe we could just be friends and meet for lunch sometimes...boyfreind insists he's at a low period of his life and needed someone to talk to, this girl he siad was very interesting and he enjoyed her company but in the same way he'd enjoy chatting to his sister....on the night in question he diidnt specificaly arrange to meet her, wa out with friends and she called him..he then left friends and met uop with her alone...not defending him at all just want to put across his side.
 
"whats wrong with being a transvestite "

you should start a new tread on this.

"How did you know the " girl " he's meeting is a transvestite"

i ment bopster's friends bf.
 
Your friend is making excuses. The rule of thumb is that if he is hiding this from his girlfriend, then he is cheating. Low point in his life or not, it is still cheating.

Excuses are great, and the amazing thing is people end up believing them...
 
Your girlfriend doesn't trust you to start with if she is going through your phone after a night out.
 
If this is a random person then its not really a friend. A friend is someone you knew before last weekend... meeting a random person is definatly suspicious, why couldnt you just head out with your own friends without taking time out to meet with someone you just met?
 
"he's at a low period of his life and needed someone to talk to"

lets rephrase this.

he's at a low period of his life and needed someone to have meaningless sex with.
 
bopster said:
insists he's at a low period of his life and needed someone to talk to
Click to expand...

Theres people you hire for this. They're called shrinks. If hes at a low point, he needs to seek professional help from a counsellor, not a random girl!
 
Has he done the dirt yet ?? This is a real case of cheating. The BF is at a very low point simply because he got caught. Lay down the law and either he shouts up or put him out....your friend just might be better off starting again. This is the first one he has got caught with, How many more has there been ??
 
Reading between the lines they don't appear to have a fantastic relationship to begin with, why is she checking his messages?

But, to answer your question, its not technically cheating as he appears to have told the second woman that he is in a relationship and her text sounds like there was no initiation of a relationship. But its maybe worse as possibly there are a lot of game playing and mind games going on within your friends relationship?
 
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bopster said:
just wondering what everybodies ideas of cheating on a partner are? would you consider meeting someone from the opposite sex for a drink, you like their company but not really interested romatically but the person in question would love to be with you. and this person is a randomer met in a pub the week before...partner has no idea about meeting??
Click to expand...

Is this a wind-up bopster ?

If not, your friends BF should seal the deal with his fancy woman asap. Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb...

As the advert says "I'm living for All these highs and lows !"
 
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