Thanks Thrifty, we were never married (I wondered and now I know why).
I just applied for the lone parent tax credit - thanks for alerting me to it.
I am pretty sure I already claim all my relevant tax reliefs already - bins, VHI, Mortgage.
I know it's hard to give advise when I haven't given a lot of information but I am reluctant to post all my financial details for all to see as I know others who use this site.
I checked on
www.solo.ie and as I believed, after taking our child-related expenses into account he is paying the correct amount for one child - however we have two children. I have decided to request that after a period of, say 6 months, he starts to pay a little more. That should give him sufficient time to cope with the extra expenses of buying his own place.
I am not trying to increase my income at his expense, just trying to make sure that we have enough disposable income that the childrens lives are not changed too much. After thinking about this last night I realised that I have two safety nets - the child benefit savings account (interesting points Clubman - I had thought the PO was a great savings scheme - I might move it elsewhere now, but that is for another discussion) and I could always sell what is now my house and move somewhere cheaper. At the moment I'd like to keep the childrens lives as unchanged as possible to help them adjust so moving would be a last resort, still, it's comforting to know.
Before this, I thought of myself as financially knowlegable and secure - savings in the credit union, maxed SSIA, child benefit, no loans, credit cards paid off regularly - now suddenly my savings are gone (solicitors fees, buying house out) and my credit cards are rising rapidly - it's very unnerving how quickly things can change. I've been reading the debt boards on the motley fool and have cancelled my Sky, changed my life and house insurances and rethought my food shopping - hopefully small changes like this will help.
Sherman - I don't know that he will come through but I can only hope that he will make the effort for his children. I'm not sure that, as an umarried couple, I can force the issue, and not sure that I would if I could. I think, if I can manage, and the next few months will show me that, then I'd rather an amicable relationship and happy children than hostility and more money. Maybe that's a cop-out?