Working full time with baby 280 a week-worth it?

I have a baby and work full time in the civil service. I am 38 yrs old and moved to civil service 3 yrs ago cos of family friendly etc.

I am on gross 460 a week, by the time I pay childcare I take home 280 for a five day week. If I did 4 days I would prob have 220 a week. I have very early starts by the time baby up and bag packed. I also park 10 mins walk away from work (to save the cost of 20 Euro a week city centre parking). 40 min commute including the walk.

DH earns about 50K in another civil service type job. We have a small mortgage. I have another house, that I have let out, and a small mortgage on that. (owe 60K, house worth 150K).

I would love to go on 4 day week, just to be able to keep on top of housework, shopping etc, and have a little free time.

I find the daily routine tough enough when I am well, but very hard when I get colds/flu, and these can linger on.

How do I justify a 4 day week to DH? I really want to keep working but I didn't realise that full time work would be such a scramble for very little money, and having very little free time and quality of life.

Would you think it is better to continue at 5 days and not to leave the extra 60 a week after me?

If you went on a four day week would you be able to reduce your childcare costs? This could be a way of persuading your husband that it's a good idea. Also, if you're at home one day a week you might be able to get better organised re shopping, cooking food for the freezer etc which would also save some money.

The 220 Euro a week is what I would be taking home if I worked 4 days and had the reduced 4/5 childcare costs.

We are already organised regarding cooking at home etc. DH gets home at 5.15 and starts cooking a dinner each evening. Then me and baby get home at 5.30 or a little later. I feed baby and we eat dinner at 6. We keep some dinner for baby for the following day. I make up fruit cups for baby every few days as well.

Also because my wages are so low, I am careful not to squander money and end up with even less to show each week for my efforts. I bring all my own food to work, and park (in a free place) 10 mins walk away from work.

What I find hard are the early starts. I must get up so early and have so many things to pack, that I have very little evening time. Bed by 10, up at 6.15 am. I need to be at my desk at 8.30 am to get enough time worked up to leave reasonably early in the evenings, and I also try and work up a day each month (for emergencies) If I had a 4 day week, I would not have to work up a day each month so the working days would be a little shorter. I would have a little more free time each week.

What I am asking is : if other ppl had DH earning 50K and were earning my salary, would they think it worthwhile to do the 5 days to get the extra 60 Euro a week, or would they think it better to do the 4 days and have more quality of life? DH pointed out that the 60 Euro would pay for most of my week's shopping. (I go to all supermarkets and discount stores on Sat morn to get best value, in shops at 9.30am)

To me it sounds like an awful lot of extra work for €60. If you can manage without that money I would certainly opt for the four day week. The one thing I noticed, however, is that you already seem to have cutback as much as you possibly can on expenditure so are you sure there's any more 'give'. If there is I would say 'go for it'. One word of caution though. If you opt for a four day week now in the Civil Service and something happened where you wanted to go back full time (eg another pay cut) you would probably find it nearly impossible to get your fifth day back. I know of lots of people who tried to come back fulltime after the levies and paycuts and were told 'no.'

buzybee said:

What I am asking is : if other ppl had DH earning 50K and were earning my salary, would they think it worthwhile to do the 5 days to get the extra 60 Euro a week, or would they think it better to do the 4 days and have more quality of life? DH pointed out that the 60 Euro would pay for most of my week's shopping. (I go to all supermarkets and discount stores on Sat morn to get best value, in shops at 9.30am)

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You cant put a price on quality of life and by the sounds of things you are not enjoying life at the moment, under the current circumstances.

I think you should do the 4 day week - so long as it doesnt put you under financial strain elsewhere.

Could your DH take over some of the early starts during the week to give you a break (get baby up, dressed, fed, packed for creche - leaving you to only get yourself up, dressed and fed?)

At the risk of sounding like one of the four Yorkshire men from the Monty Python sketch, I’d love to have as much free time as you and your husband have.
I get home at 6.30-7.00 three days a week, 9.00 one day and 5.30 on Friday. I start at 8.00 each morning. I do all the cooking, usually at the weekends, as well as the shopping, usually at 10pm on Thursday night in Tesco. My wife works much longer hours, including two nights a week (on top of her 5 days, three full and two half) and she does the swimming/ afterschool runs during the week.
We have no option of working up extra days etc and my wife is self employed so no paid holidays or sick days and no top-up maternity payments (that’s why she’s only taken 4-8 weeks maternity leave for our 4 kids). I’m posting this as a long winded way of saying I know where you are coming from, not to play the martyr; we all have choices and we’ve made ours.

That said we are both on good incomes and if I was in your position I would definitely go for the four day week.

I am 38 now and I always said to myself that I would like to reduce hours a little when I was older, baby was in school. If I did the 4 day week, I know that I would not want to go back to the 5 day week again.

Regarding pension, even if I work full time til I'm 65, I will still only have 30 yrs service. If I stay on Clerical Officer scale, I know I would only get about 40 or 50 Euros more a week than the Social welfare pension. Therefore pension is not the motivating factor for working full time.

I feel a small bit guilty and lazy for wanting to work only 4 days when I only have one baby. However, as I am 38 now I don't know if/when no. 2 might come along. If no. 2 never comes along, I really don't want to be stuck working a 5 day week all the time.

I took no unpaid mat leave, as I talked it over with DH and I would prefer a month off unpaid in the summer. Now DH is saying that I should see if I can keep all my hols and get 2 or 2.5 weeks off together instead.

Regarding 'needing' the money, I feel that I am only working full time to be able to show that I am not lazy or soft. I already have 40K savings as well as a house( worked my a** off for years in a professional job). We have very little outgoings (don't drink, rarely go out, not into clothes, own our cars outright).

I just feel a bit annoyed that I have worked so hard for years to secure a future, and I am 38 and still feel that I need to work v. hard. Wouldnt mind if I was earning very good money, but is the extra 60 Euro a week really worth it.

buzybee - excuse my armchair psychology.. but it sounds as if you already know that you want to work 4 days, but you dont have your partners support and are looking for reasons to convince him? apologies if this is not the case

IMHO I would move to 4 days as well, as long as it was affordable

Buzybee, we made a similar decision recently to the one that you are thinking about at the moment.

Personally, I think you should jump at the chance that you could work a 4 day week.

Quality of life is paramount IMHO and you should certainly not feel guilty or lazy. If you feel better about yourself then it will only result in a better environment for everyone in your home.

My wife (who earns more than myself) went on a 4 day week recently & I think it is a great decision. Also, re feeling guilty & lazy, then anyone who thinks this should spend a few weeks all day (ie 24hrs) with a 7 month old

This is a generalistion but I have a fair few qualifications & have worked in different areas & looking after a young baby all day everyday is as tough as any of the roles that I had....no doubt there will be a load of smart replies re this!!

Echoing what stephnyc says, can I propose that you ask a different question: how can your husband justify to you that you should work 5 days a week?

If you think that is a fair question to ask, then we in AAM should step aside, because relationship counselling is not what we do here.

Agree with Stephnyc...you already seem convinced it's a sensible idea- it seems your partner is the one not convinced...
To be honest you both sound to be comfortable enough in your financial circumstances and for the sake of €60 more for a day off- I think you are mad not to go for the 4 day week- that you have the option of a better quality of life for you- and probably by extension your child and partner- for €60 a week..if this is something you'd like- which is clear from your comments then I think you should expect the support of your partner.
Personally, I think your partner is not being very kind to you in regards to this and I think this is what you want to hear from an outsider. If things are as you say, then I think your partner is being at the very least thoughtless and even selfish.

To try out the 4 day week without fully committing yourself to reduced hours forever could you ask to see if you could take the 1 day per week out of your parental leave entitlement?

I agree with the other posters. You already know that you want to have the 4 days and you have that opportunity to take them. You know you have nothing to feel guilty/lazy about.

I could write a big email about the pros and cons but basically there comes a point where you have to take responsibility for your own health and happiness. Get it straight with your husband whether you need the money or not (even if it takes a full review of long term goals). Either way, work something out - be it the 4 days or the 5 days but with some extra help in the mornings. Whatever it is it has to be something which works for you, and helps you keep going (and not out of guilt or fear of looking lazy). Your husband should be helping you look after yourself - your health is your wealth. You won't be much of a team when you collapse from exhaustion.

Tell him you're thinking of a three day week. Really racing around with a small person is no fun and if you can manage financially on four days then go for it. Will your husband benefit tax wise by you earning less?
I work a three day week and one unpaid with my husband. His income is way down with the recession but for the sanity it is worth it.

I would work 4 days a week and sell your other house i.e. "invest" the 90k profit in yourself and your child.

I would go for the 4 day week. You sound financially secure and it's lovely to be able to spend the time with them when they are so little. I am taking parental leave at present, about 7 hrs a week and find it a great help, am 38 also, with a two year old. Hubbie looks after our child when I work and our income is about 48,000/year total. I just think I may not be around in 20 years so enjoy and cherish your family when you can.

Tks re comments about DH getting LO ready in the mornings. I get LO ready and pack a bag. Then DH takes her to minder. At least this means I have a straight run into work in the car. Need to be at desk at 8.30 am to get hours worked up for flexi and to get home at reasonable time.

I intend to try and work up the flexi every month, and also take a day hols every month as well to ease situation. This means I will have a 4 day week, every second week. There are also some bank hols coming up in first half of year. Then for our summer hols (when minder closes) I can take 2 or 3 wks unpaid leave. I wouldn't mind taking couple of weeks unpaid leave in one go, as I could save up for it.

I find it is nearly easier to take 2 or 4 wks unpaid in one go, and then have the appearance of working full time (while quietly using my hols), than to have a formal arrangement of a day off every week. Also my relations could ask me to do chores etc if they thought I was off every week. I don't mind helping out, but I would hate to take unpaid leave and have to help out.

Buzybee if you did take the 4 days I'm sure you have other plans made rather than doing chores for your relations (unless they're in dire need or something).

Free time = priceless.
When I went back to work after my baby I asked for 4 day week they wouldnt give it to me..
#i found 5 days draining and never got to see baby. So GO FOR IT.
To be honest, I wouldnt have to sell it much to my DP, I would just say I will be happier all round and that is what would buy it!

holy cow buzybee are you protestant or something??? Why on earth would you're family think you are available to do chores because you have one day at home with your little one and have your own chores to catch up on? It's hardly a day in bed eating chocs and watching oprah!
Good luck with your plan, I find it very hard to build up flexi time, in fact impossible, because I'm always trying to spend as much time as possible at home. You may be better organised than me though.