Wedding present - no 'thank you'?

G

Grizzly

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My wife was invited to a wedding last year which she went to. A wedding present list from Brown Thomas was circulated to guests. My wife chose a gift from the list and Brown Thomas did the rest, posted it to the bride etc. Maybe this is normal practice but to date she has never received a "thank you" note from the bride or groom. Is this the norm?
 
Re: Wedding Present - No thank you?.

I think it is common courtesy to send thank you cards but I've been to weddings where I never received one. Personally I think it is a bit rude not to send them.
 
Re: Wedding Present - No thank you?.

you need to make sure that they actually received the gift, had a similar situation and turns out they didnt receive it so department store resent the present
 
And in the process of checking to ensure that they received the gift you will embarrass them into thanking you (assuming they did receive it). How RUDE! I am regularly annoyed by people who do not thank for wedding gifts or gifts for new babies etc....
 
We didn't receive one for a present we gave in person to the "presents table" last year. It was clearly labelled, and I was DISGUSTED at the lack of a thank you. Especially since it was a black tie do in the middle of nowhere (i.e. no additional accommodation available).

So personally, I'd say write it off as complete rudeness.
 
I agree - people are too fast to send out invitations and wedding lists however fail to thank you - very sad state of affairs
 
as a newly married person who just sent out thank you cards 3 months after getting mariied i am ashamed at the amount of time it took us to send them. But on the subject of wedding presents my uncle has gone to 2 weddings in the last year with wedding lists from the above shop and neither time the present arrived and he only discovered as he asked if they had received it. Would hate to think somebody had paid for a present for us and was thinking that it was due to bad manners that we had not sent out thank you cards.
 
We sent our thank you cards out about 8 weeks after the wedding. I have received thank you cards up to 9 months after the event....enclosed with a christmas card.

Its quite possible that Brown Thomas haven't delivered the gift yet..be it out of stock or whatever, but the couple should have received a list outlining who bought what. Have other guests received thank you cards? Maybe your wifes was lost in the post?
 
If you know somebody well enough to attend their wedding then presumably you should know them well enough to know whether or not rudeness is simply one of their personal traits? If so then (a) don't go and/or give them a present if their rudeness will upset you or (b) accept their personal traits if they are your friends.
 
Your wife should just say the next time she's speaking to them, "did you receive the lamp ok?" or whatever it was. There might be a simple enough reason as to why they didnt send one, I had someone ring me about not receiving a thank you note (from me) but Id never received a gift from them. It turned out to be a mistake of the store, so we were bought glad she rang to ask about the gift.
 
I got married October last year and sent the thank yous over the space of three weeks in Jan \ Feb. To be honest I was quite surprised by the number of people who gave no gift at all!!
 
I am one of those people who did not send out thank you cards...... It wasnt intentional. I even made my own "Thank you" cards but now it has gotten embarassingly too late to send them out to people, and have decided after 1.5 years that its too late....
It isnt that I am ungrateful for the fab gifts I received, its just having the time to get around to doing it.. Can I also just say that I didnt insert a wedding list.... and did not expect any of the gifts.... I did not invite people for that reason...
Do you guys think its better to send them out even at this late stage!
 
i sent my thank yous out while on honeymoon! (well we were doing a 24 hour train ride across India), problem was one couple didn't send a present but their children did, and I felt it would be embarrassing for them to see a thank you addressed to the children only (same address). So we sent a thank you to all the family, got a very embarrassed card (with cheque) from the couple a few weeks later. They were mortified to have been included in a thank you, we were mortified to have basically "asked" for a present by sending the thank you in advance. Very tricky things, weddings!
 
Oh God, even reading this thread is making me embarrassed. I am one of those very rude people who didn't send thank you cards after the wedding...there were extenuating circumstances, my mother was terminally ill and basically I spent the months after the wedding caring for her, until she died, and then spent quite a while lost in mourning. And then my husbands father became terminally ill, and then he died. I still feel awful about it but it just became too late...
 
another thing i'll have to do, i hate even sending invatations, i'm so bad at remembering this sort of thing.

but it also adds to the expense, the stationary is about €700 for our wedding but if someone does give a present i'd rather phone them or say it to thier face, i hate the hallmark culture of cards for every little thing and sorry i blame woman for it, oh its april 10 we must get such a person a card ahhhhhhhhhhh !!!

sorry for the rant.
 
Reading the first post in this thread I was thinking 'it's hardly worth worrying about such minor things'; when I got to an read Vanillas post it underscored for me just how minor, if valid , such issues are.
 
I never did send my thank you cards either.
Our daughter was four months old when we tied the knot so I was more consumed with chaildcare than wedding stuff.
 
Its just that the wedding was in that most mentioned Dublin hotel and everything was Vera Wang this and Vera Wang that. I am disappointed that after receiving designer wedding invitations we didn't even get a bog standard "thank you" note.
 
I too didn't send "thank you" cards as six weeks after getting married my husband became very sick and so thenk you cards were out of mind. I think all the people that came to our wedding knew our circumstances and so were not put ut. People have little to worry them if a missign thank you card is all they have to care about!!! Then my wedding was as far away from Vera Wang as you can get
 
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