Update: Fear of new job.

I have been working as an in-house paralegal in a bank in Dublin for the past 2.5 years. I love my job and I love working for this company. I live over 50 miles away and have a 4 hour round trip to and from work, plus I work long hours. I am used to this now and while I don't enjoy it, I get on with it, and my job satisfaction makes it easier.

I have been doing the Law Society entrance exams and am now ready to start my solicitor apprenticeship. While I work purely in-house in finance law, my boss has previously allowed a colleague to train under him, and on secondment to one of the "big 5" firms in the city in order to train in the other areas of law. She is now qualified and working as a lawyer here, having worked as a paralegal in the dept. for a few years before that.

Currently another colleague at my level is also due to start her apprencticeship and is doing so under my boss and on secondment to the same "big 5" firm. My boss from day one has always said that he can't guarantee me the same and that the 2 girls were given their apprenticeships through the bank after much cojoling by him of the powers that be. He has never offered to do the same "cojoling" on my behalf. He has always said to me that as I live so far away from the office that it's probably for the best, and that it will mean a better quality of life for me to train with a solicitor close to home. I have to agree with him in a way as the commutting has affected my health and also renders me inflexible as an employee very often as I have to catch my last train.

Anyway, after a long search I eventually got an offer of an apprenticeship near home, and while I thought I would be thrillled, and all my friends and family were over the moon for me, I have had a really bad gut feeling about it since I was made the offer. The bottom line is I really am not ready to leave my job. I know in order to qualify as a solicitor that I need to leave my role, but leaving the company will be a huge wrench. I have since accepted the offer, as apprenticeships are so difficult to obtain, plus the convenience to home made it a more attractive option, but am I making a mistake? I stand to lose a lot of benefits also from leaving the company although that would not be a decisive factor if I were unhappy in my job.

I now have 2 weeks left of my notice period and any time anyone in work mentions it to me I get upset and really don't want to think about leaving. Should I just cop on and accept things, or should I push my boss on the issue of allowing me stay on and train here? Should I embrace the change and be thrilled that I no longer have a commute to work, or stick with it for the peace of mind that I will be happy longer term in my career?

To top it off, a senior colleague came to me today and told me that he thought I was making a big mistake and I must be mad to leave here. All that "advice" did was make me even more confused about my situation. Some objective opinions would be much appreciated!

Re: Confused

I could not read this post and not reply as I have read a number of posts of yours over the last while as we were both in the same boat this time last year as regards seeking an apprenticeship.

I was in a similar sort of position to you but on the reverse. I was already working in a small rural practice where I could have done an apprenticeship but handed in my notice to take an entry level job in house in Dublin to get relevant experience in the commercial area. At the time it was a big leap into the unknown for me, as I was leaving a secure position to pursue what I really wanted to do. Incidentally, I loved the crowd I used to work with, which made it even harder.

In the end I think what it comes down to is what type of career do you want as a solicitor ? I have no interest in private client work such as conveyancing, wills, family law and always wanted a rounded apprenticeship that exposed me to lots of different and emerging areas of law.

I dont think you would have gone through with all the Fe1 exams and all that goes with it if you did not really want to be a solicitor. I think what you have now is the fear of the unknown. If you think that the work that you will get in the rural firm is something you could be interested in then Id say go for it. It seems that an apprenticeship may not be on the cards if you stay in your current employment ?

I always think that if something is worth working for there will always be sacrifices to be made.

At the end of the day, its what you want yourself, your life etc. Best of luck in your decision

Re: Confused about job offer - should I push to stay where I am?

SNB, many thanks for your reply and so promptly too. I prefer the notion of working in practice simply because I feel I am actually helping people and doing more worthwhile work. Granted there is a lot more difficulties arising from dealing with the public when working in practice, dealing with clients etc., but helping people was actually my motivation for becoming a solicitor in the first place. I do find the work here extremely interesting though, and will miss a lot of the projects I am working on. The reality is I could hate the small town practice work and the better quality of life may not make up for it. Indeed the sheen might come off the whole helping people ideal pretty soon too! I guess it is just a fear of the unknown, like you suggest.

Re: Confused about job offer - should I push to stay where I am?

Trafford said:

The bottom line is I really am not ready to leave my job. I know in order to qualify as a solicitor that I need to leave my role, but leaving the company will be a huge wrench.

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Leaving a job, particularly one that you like, is always difficult. I think you should take the apprenticeship. I can't understand why the senior person in the bank thinks that you are mad - if they had wanted you to stay they would have made you the offer of doing the apprenticeship with them. It might be no harm to suggest to them that you would change your mind if this offer was made. Seems to me like you have nothing to lose.

At the end of the day legal apprenticeships are very difficult to come by and you will only regret it in the years to come - nobody can possibly continue to commute 4 hours a day indefinitely.

My update didn't post. It took me about 30 mins to type so will try and do it again later.

When writing long posts it's a good idea to do so in MS Word. That way you can spell check etc and edit as you go along.

Paragraphs would make it much more readable.

TBH I can't see why you wouldn't leave sounds, like a great opportunity.

Never refuse a good thing. IMO

aircobra19 said:

Paragraphs would make it much more readable.

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I have added a few paragraphs for ease of reading.

i know how you feel.After a long time in a job the fear of the "unknown" can eat at you even though you know in your heart and soul that this has everything you want in a nutshell. It takes courage to jump but i think you should "feel the fear and do it anyway", chance it. think how lucky you are that you have this apprenticeship right where you want it. they are thin on the ground as far as i know. Good luck.

Only getting back to this now. I have refused the position. There was a lot of problems with it, the worst of all the new employer's attempt to fiddle tax. I wouldn't stand for it so in the end I told him I wouldn't be able to take up his offer. So I'm back to square one.

Trafford said:

There was a lot of problems with it, the worst of all the new employer's attempt to fiddle tax.

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Just curious - would you care to expand on this, without breaching any confidentiality or naming names.

Trafford said:

Only getting back to this now. I have refused the position. There was a lot of problems with it, the worst of all the new employer's attempt to fiddle tax. I wouldn't stand for it so in the end I told him I wouldn't be able to take up his offer. So I'm back to square one.

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Good decision. For your boss to start the relationship in that manner is atrocious. Is there any possibilty you could contact the Law Society about it? If he wants his staff to be complicit in such things then god knows what he is up to for clients.

OK! So are you now going to go to your present employers (possibly the Human Resources/Recruitment Department as well as your immediate boss) to discuss a way forward with your training and career?

Marie said:

OK! So are you now going to go to your present employers (possibly the Human Resources/Recruitment Department as well as your immediate boss) to discuss a way forward with your training and career?

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Yes, but it is out of the question apparently for me to train here. Reading between the lines I can't help but feel it is a handy way of my boss getting rid of me, although I've only ever had positive feedback and reviews from him about my work. I do feel rather rejected. His only excuse is "sure you live so far away, why would you want to commit to another few years in Dublin", "think of your health", and "you know that's not what you want". I agree with him to an extent but I would rather if I had been given the option. There has to be more to it.

Anyway, by fiddling tax I mean when we spoke about salary, the solicitor would only ever speak in terms of my take home pay amount, per hour!! I am used to being on a salary, plus obviously I would rather he spoke in terms of gross. He said he pays everyone the same net per hour. Now how on earth can that be true? He shouldn't have a clue what people earn net as everyone's tax credits are unique to them. I queried him on this and he dismissively (I felt) said "oh don't be worrying about tax, I'll look after that". I got a bad feeling from this.

When he offered me the position I asked him to send me in writing the details of my gross salary, and I would respond to that letter and that would formalise our up to now verbal contract. That was 2 months ago and I never heard another word from him. I had a great relationship with his answering machine, his secretary, his email address and I wrote him a letter, and nothing. He totally went underground. In the desperation for an apprenticeship I tried not to let these things bother me, but then I woke up and realised I don't have to secure one at any cost. I sent him a final letter saying I would be unable to take up the position.

I would never put up with that treatment in any other walk of life so I wasn't prepared to compromise myself that much in the end. God knows what he would be like to work for if he was this dodgy at the preliminary stage.

Also, as a trainee I couldn't risk h aving my name associated with somebody like that. He has been in trouble with the law society before too over other issues so far too risky for me.