Thank you for wedding present

I gave 2 fairly substantial cash wedding gifts recently.

It was not given on the day itself but a couple of weeks after. (I couldn't make the first one and was best man for the 2nd one ).
So if they decided to send out mass 'thank you' cards i would have been later than that toi receive one id imnagine.

I was in contact (verbal and text) shortly after i gave the gift to both parties....and neither managed a thank you !

Have people lost the run of themselves by expecting presents for a wedding?
Surely when someone gives you a gift common courtesy is to say 'thank you' is it not?

Obviously its a small sample of 2 people...but still.

Are there people out there reading this who have also failed to manage a basic 'thank you' to all people who give a gift on a wedding?

For anyone getting married soon...a tip...ensure to thank everyone who hands over their hard earned cash.
Getting a present is not an entitlement !

**rant over **

I and other relatives also gave a substantial amount to a couple around 3 weeks prior to the actual wedding. The wedding was in June and we haven't heard a thing from them since.

I would have thought it would be good manners to send a card to guests after the wedding to thank them for attending and for their gift.

According to this site it IS the correct thing to do.

It's not even about the amount, everyone should be thanked equally, it's more the principle of the thing.

I gave wedding presents to 2 relatives (a brother and sister who were married within a few weeks of each other) and never heard the "thank you" word from either of them. I was out of work at the time so this was a serious amount out of my budget.

About six later the girl re-married. I didn't buy a second present.

When I think of wedding invitations, I would prefer to get a letter from the Gardaí with penalty points and a fine. The letter from the Gardaí would be cheaper and leave less impact.

Weddings have gone beyond the beyond largely. They become more expensive during our boom times and even through the bad times seem to have maintained the same excessive expense. The actual wedding ceremony has become a by-product of the whole picture.

It is no wonder than newly married couples cannot remember or react to presents favourably because there is so much more on their minds.

Relax. I've found a typical waiting time for a thank you note is three to six months and often as long as twelve months. Getting round to thank up to 200 people requires a bit of time to make sure you don't forget anyone. A recent trend is to write the thank you on a wedding photograph, which involves a bit of work as well and an appointment with the photographer. It is bad form not to send thank you notes, but don't expect them straight away or special treament because your gift was bigger or you could afford it less.

Also, turning the thing on its head, have you thought about the time, energy and cost involved in organising the whole wedding experience from church music to making sur the hotel food is up to scratch? Always worth acknowledging the effort that the Bride and Groom have gone to so that their guests will have an enjoyable day.

I got a thank you last week on the 1st anniversary of the wedding. Card had photo and a nice personal note written inside.

Its ten years ago but about a month after we got married, we sent out thank you cards to the gift givers. One or two came to the wedding and didn't give any gift.

I went to 3 weddings this year and didn't get any written thank you cards. I don't mind at all, a thank you in person satisfies me.

I am glad there are no weddings or stag weekends next year, and I hope never to attend a Thursday wedding again!

Ah sure cash presents are so impersonal anyway, it's no wonder you didn't get a thank-you

[cowers behind desk and awaits backlash]

I was best man a few years ago and made the mistake of opening envelopes and extracting cash without keeping note of who did and who didn't give money ! The groom was not impressed. Thus when I got married 5 years later, I made sure that when envelopes were opened, the money enclosed was noted on the corner of the greeting card, so that when it came time to send out thanks, I knew who to send them to and who to ignore !

The thanks yous do take yonks, but sure what about it, its an expensive day out, end of. I agree with giving cash, whether people are going mad or not, it still costs a fair wedge to run the event and any house only needs so many toasters.

Lower your expectations of others folks, leads to much less disappointment.....

MeathCommute said:

I was best man a few years ago and made the mistake of opening envelopes and extracting cash without keeping note of who did and who didn't give money ! The groom was not impressed. Thus when I got married 5 years later, I made sure that when envelopes were opened, the money enclosed was noted on the corner of the greeting card, so that when it came time to send out thanks, I knew who to send them to and who to ignore !

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Did you send thank you notes or receipts?

Brendan

Betsy Og said:

The thanks yous do take yonks, but sure what about it, its an expensive day out, end of. I agree with giving cash, whether people are going mad or not, it still costs a fair wedge to run the event and any house only needs so many toasters.

Lower your expectations of others folks, leads to much less disappointment.....

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Betsy's post is probably the best way to go on the subject.

Just a Thought, though:- AS an investment is it possible to have a wedding celebration that would pay a decent dividend? Has it been done? I'm not a financial whizz kid but I think I can see where a profit could be made?

If the average wedding gift per couple is €250.00 and you have 100 to 200 guests (maybe more) I think there can be a gainful gap between costs and presents. In today's financial environment it might be profitable to have a rerun of one's wedding.

Leper said:

Betsy's post is probably the best way to go on the subject.

Just a Thought, though:- AS an investment is it possible to have a wedding celebration that would pay a decent dividend? Has it been done? I'm not a financial whizz kid but I think I can see where a profit could be made?

If the average wedding gift per couple is €250.00 and you have 100 to 200 guests (maybe more) I think there can be a gainful gap between costs and presents. In today's financial environment it might be profitable to have a rerun of one's wedding.

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Happens regularly in Kerry I'd imagine where there's a tradition of massive weddings - we're talking 300-400. Basically a parish day out. Not everyones thing but if people give a middling gift at all there should be profit. Fixed costs being rapidly paid down, marginal cost per extra cover (why call them guest ;-) ) much less than gift, lets run a breakeven point and aim for a decent margin.

Leper said:

Betsy's post is probably the best way to go on the subject.

Just a Thought, though:- AS an investment is it possible to have a wedding celebration that would pay a decent dividend? Has it been done? I'm not a financial whizz kid but I think I can see where a profit could be made?

If the average wedding gift per couple is €250.00 and you have 100 to 200 guests (maybe more) I think there can be a gainful gap between costs and presents. In today's financial environment it might be profitable to have a rerun of one's wedding.

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I got married at the height of the Celtic Tiger and turned a profit on the day...
I put together a spreadsheet of all the costs and then a second tab on it for all the gifts.
I still have the excel spreadsheet on USB and looked at it after reading this thread to see that we made a 3k profit...

I dont think it could be done now though...

MeathCommute said:

I was best man a few years ago and made the mistake of opening envelopes and extracting cash without keeping note of who did and who didn't give money !

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May i ask what in Gods name were you thinking opening envelopes that were addressed to someone else?