jonnyonions
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I understand what it means.
Solicitor engaged to separate/divorce - did neither $$$$$
- Thread starter jonnyonions
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jonnyonions
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My point there was I have always paid for 80% of my childs costs/expenses/whatever/pocket money/club memberships/etc/etc - none of this was raised by my solicitor and the judge treated me like scum. Told me I couldnt speak - she was allowed have her say - and afer her solicitors were high fiving each other - and she called me after to say she was sorry she didnt ask her solicitors to treat me that way.
Its a mans world - yeah right
jonnyonions
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Just to say thank you all for the comments and advice 
You are expected to maintain your children; there's no medals for that.
Again - child maintenance is based on your income & outgoings, nothing to do with "costs".
You've already been to court?
I think you should read the following article and reflect quietly on it. Kids are colatteral damage in these situations, with irreversible trauma visted on them by parents. Im not saying thats the case for you but its sadly common.
lighthousepsychology.ie
Parental Alienation: How specific personality traits spell danger for professionals. - Lighthouse Psychology
Lighthouse Psychology's article describes how a mix of three distinct personality types are often the driving force in complex Parental Alienation cases.
lighthousepsychology.ie
My post above #9 was not my opinion it was a quote from the website of the Legal Services Regulatory Authority. There link is given.
It is hardly the only legal requirement that seems impossible.
T McGibney
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Just because it's there doesn't necessarily mean anything, especially if it's possible to tick as "not applicable" .
NoRegretsCoyote
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To me that doesn't sound unrealistic if both parties can't agree between themselves.
Our adversarial legal system has all the wrong incentives for solicitors to drag things out with a lot of correspondence. To my eye unless there are millions involved solicitors are not adding much value via their negotiating. It's more useful to use your solicitor to: a) give you advice on what a judge would see as a reasonable settlement for each party, and b) ensure paperwork is in order. The best thing (if you can manage it) is for you and spouse to agree terms and present them to solicitors as a done deal.
jonnyonions
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I never said I wanted a medal. If maintenance is to pay for your child and the court order money to be paid to the mother for your child without factoring in anything else then it’s not right.
Unless you think that’s right.
Courts are grouping fathers who pay nothing in with those that do everything that is right.
Hi jonnyonions,
FWIW, and that's probably not a whole lot, I just want to say that I sympathise with your position. You come across as reasonable to me and it is a real problem when you employ a solicitor who isn't great for something like this. I can see how a weak solicitor could end up clocking up loads in fees for a poor outcome. Obviously, this lose-lose result is very frustrating. I'm sorry but I can't even propose a decent solution as I'd imagine switching horses mid-stream has more than its own difficulties.
FWIW, and that's probably not a whole lot, I just want to say that I sympathise with your position. You come across as reasonable to me and it is a real problem when you employ a solicitor who isn't great for something like this. I can see how a weak solicitor could end up clocking up loads in fees for a poor outcome. Obviously, this lose-lose result is very frustrating. I'm sorry but I can't even propose a decent solution as I'd imagine switching horses mid-stream has more than its own difficulties.
jonnyonions
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Thanks and yes it’s not a good situation to be in but it is helpful to hear different views and perspectives even if only based on the limited information I’ve shared here.
Much appreciated.
If I understand you
the court hearing was to establish child maintenance.
In which case, you would both have submitted your income and outgoings (in your case those outgoings would have included whatever you pay for children's activities provided you put that in your document).
And judge made a ruling on child maintenance based on that.
Do I have that right so far?