[Q1]Will I be forced into selling what was the main family home by a Judge in Court?
[Q2]Will my wife be forced to sell her's too?
[Q3]Is a Judge likely to consider any of the circumstances I've outlined above?
IANAL
Might be easier to start from the bottom
Q3. Behaviour during the marriage is not generally taken into account when considering settlement issues, unless it would be seriously unjust not to do so. In this case, you would be looking at pretty extreme documented behaviour such as violence (medical/ garda reports), criminal activity (garda reports/prison) etc., So based on what you've described, I would say not.
Q2. If that's where the children are living, it's unlikely that an order would be made for their home to be sold while they are still under 18 (or 23 if in full time education). The primary view here is to ensure that the children of the marriage are provided for.
Q1. That's not really a question that can be answered here when we don't have all the info.
So here's the way to look at it
First concern: children are supported (by both parents) while they are minors or under 23 if in full time education.
that includes, somewhere to live, maintenance, primary carer, education etc.,
Second concern: assets of the marriage, after the primary issue is taken care of.
Note: assets of the marriage includes all property, savings, inheritance, pension (current/ future funds) etc.,
My advice at this point would be to go into the Mediation process with your eyes open. Both parties have to make declarations of income/ assets etc., so start from there. Try not to get sucked in emotionally if you can. Treat this as a business meeting with important, if difficult, client.
Educate yourself & be aware that not all Solicitors are well versed in family law.
Edit: it used to be the case (but I don't know if this still holds) that where a mother left the family home, they could be considered to have 'abandoned the family home' and thus reduced their interest in the family home. For that reason many women were advised to stay put. This has its roots in a rather old-fashioned view-point so it may no longer hold true.