Senior Citizens facing Separation with wife refusing Mediation.

M

mikethediyman

Registered User
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We are both in our 70s living in family home worth 550 - 600,000 paid for, each have 15, 000 savings, one car, one small pension 368 p m 2 kids in 40s moved on.
She had agreed to Mediation but pulled out at last minute saying "take me to court, let everyone hear our lifestory" I had suggested we both buy say 2 bed apartments nearby ( possibly rent one room for company and income ) but she's insisting her's must be in same
( overpriced ) town for around 350 - 400,000 leaving me with say 200,000 max. She doesn't accept that our Family Law system is a " no fault " system so how can I convince her to see sence / fairness without the expense of a court case.
 
mikethediyman said:
She doesn't accept that our Family Law system is a " no fault " system
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Maybe show her this? The Courts Service clearly states this as fact:

Can I Get Divorced

Find out if you meet the criteria to apply for a divorce. You can also use our interactive tool to answer some simple questions to check your eligibility.
services.courts.ie
In Ireland, there is a ‘no-fault’ divorce system. This means that a judge does not consider or ask why the marriage ended.
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mikethediyman said:
how can I convince her to see sence / fairness without the expense of a court case.
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If she's intent on approaching this matter a particular way then there's not a lot that you can do to change that. You should probably consult with and engage a solicitor to advise you if mediation isn't going to be a runner - and maybe even if it is...

Family mediation for separating couples

Family mediation can help separating couples co-operate with each other to work out mutually acceptable arrangements. Find out more about the mediation process, how it works and how to access it.
www.citizensinformation.ie
The mediated agreement is not a legal agreement, however, you can bring this document to a solicitor to be drawn into a legal contract or deed of separation. You may also use it as the basis for a decree of divorce.
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Sell the house and get €300k each.
She then buys a house for €400k with a Spry mortgage.

Key Post - Spry Finance Lifetime Loans

I find the Spry Finance website complicated so this is my summary of it. If you are at least 60, you can take out a Lifetime Loan from Spry Finance. There are no other providers in the Irish market which is a pity. You do not have to make any repayments, they will roll up the interest. The...
www.askaboutmoney.com

If she is 75, Spry will advance her 30% of the value of the house or €120k.

Brendan
 
The 368 per month is my private pension but we are both receiving contrib. State Pension. After going through last year's income and expenditure for both of us, we have a surplus of 6,500 in cash.
 
Thanks ClubMan thankfully I have a good Solicitor to advise me.
Thanks DannyBoyD for your response
Thanks Brendan - that's interesting about Spry, are their rates reasonable ?
 
Given that your children are now fully independent, you are both claiming a state pension, and there is no mortgage on the family home; my best estimate if you look for a judge to make orders is the property will be directed to be sold & the proceeds divided between you.

Some part of your separate pension may also be apportioned.

IANAL
 
Brendan Burgess said:
If she is 75, Spry will advance her 30% of the value of the house or €120k.
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I'm not sure that Spry would work in this context?
I don't think that Spry will advance a loan in order to buy a proper in the first place?


You must be resident in the property and it must:​

  • ...
  • Be Mortgage-free or, if there is a small existing mortgage or charge on the property, this must be cleared either from savings or from the proceeds of your loan.
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mikethediyman said:
Thanks Brendan the max they would offer me is €186,000
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But isn't the idea to get €100-120K from them?
 
Brendan Burgess said:
have confirmed directly with Spry that they do provide finance for people to buy homes although it's not a common use. They listed separating couples with one wanting to buy out the other as an example of its use
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Hi @Brendan Burgess - do you know whether they provide finance for a person NOT staying in the family home? If so any idea if the first home initiative can be used in the case of new build? Thanks
 
I understand that they will lend money to people to buy homes whether it is their existing home or a new home.

No idea about the first home initiative - start a new thread.
 
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