Relations with colleagues ruining my life

Worked in a similar enviroment-It was the constant arguments that drove me mad also despite all the huffing and long hours Things were done in such a panic they were always a mess and had to be redone. got to the stage I couldnt bear anybody in the company any more even decent sorts .
Could you afford to leave and go temping or take a short contract?Also write things down as it forces you to deal with incidents from a distance and can help
I left and it took me the best part of 18 months to get back to myself again -Working in the best enviroment now and love coming in -I wish I has just taken stress leave or quit earlier before I let it affect me that much.But i took contracts before I took this job to get over it.It really isnt like that everywhere HR were worse than useless too and this was a multinational.

Danmo said:

Trafford, you are not going to single-handedly change the culture there.
Chalk it up to experience and go.

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You may well be right in practice when you say that no one person will change the culture. But perhaps not. The corollory is certainly 100% sure - if you say nothing, than nothing will change.

I agree with advice to look for other jobs. But I think there is also a duty to bring something like to a HR director or similar, pointing out the health & safety issues involved. Make it clear that this is not an little gripe - this is an issue which could cost the money large amounts of money if not addressed.

If it is affecting your mental health, do speak to your GP.

At least you could try approach HR. The worse that can happen is that you'll leave, and you'll probably end up doing that anyway. Most people who leave jobs will tell you eventually it works out for the better.

Trafford said:

I don't mean to be over dramatic but I really do feel like I'm heading for a breakdown over this. I work in a "pressure cooker" atmosphere due to a number of colleagues being very high strung, abusive to others, and generally just negative people to be around. After almost 3 years of working here, the stress this has generated on to me is really taking its toll.

For the past 3 months now I have had no relationship with any of them, and days could pass where I can't even communicate with them unless by email. I have become so irritable, which I hate as I am always a cheerful person, and am now losing sleep too. I have lost weight and really don't know who I am at this stage. My family are worried now too which has made me finally realise I need to address things.

Anyway, this isn't a health issue as I can deal with that myself. I am more wondering how to deal with things in work? I can't help thinking time off is the answer, but I don't just mean a week or 2 as I think I will need months to get back to where I was before. Will any boss understand or be sympathetic to how colleagues can literally drive you insane? My boss acknowledges the personalities and that it can be difficult but he seems to have no clue of just how bad things are.

I'm at my wits end at this stage!

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Can I suggest you contact Samaritans and speak to them. You sound as if you are rather distressed and upset and you'd be surprised how talking to someone who won't push advice on you could make a difference to how you view the problem.
(1850 609090)

Trafford,

Leave, your life will be better for it.

Trafford,

You should just leave work. No job is worth that. I have been in jobs before, where you had to work very hard, and see other people (in the easier sections) taking full lunch breaks & no stress. I can understand how being in such a job can affect your whole life. Even when you are not at work, you are probably thinking of all the work you have to do, not to mention the problems with colleagues fighting.

Another poster said to try and get another job. This is easier said than done. It could take 6 months or a year to get another job. More damage could be done to your health by waiting for another job. Also, if you are under such stress/pressure, it may show in interviews and you may be less likely to get another job.

I don't think widening your search/taking a pay cut is the answer to your problems. Sometimes, you could take a pay cut and find that you still have a lot of pressure/can't fit the work into the 40 hrs. Also, prospective employers often want to know WHY you are taking a pay cut. Telling them about the problems with this job is not an option, as (in my experience) prospective employers have no understanding about stressful workloads, long hours, bullying and periods of unemployment.

You could ask for 2 wks hols, and use this to relax, set up some interviews etc. Or else you could leave, and go travelling for a few weeks. Then when you return, you could tell prospective employers/agencies that you left your last job to go travelling, and that you are back now and looking for work. In my experience, it is often easier to get work when you have no job, as you are available for an immediate start.

I would not really recommend going on sick leave unless you are very sick, as it is not nice to have this on record for future jobs.

It is all very well complaining to HR about all this, keeping notes on incidents etc, but bringing a case could be a long process. There are no guarantees of being successful, and all this would just be prolonging the agony.

Best of luck,