Personal Space

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ney001

Registered User
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I don't know if this is just me, but I find in general that women don't seem to have any concept of other peoples personal space. Pretty much every morning I get a coffee at the same garage. Now, whilst any men in the queue will stand back, not crowd you, wait until you have moved to one side before preparing their own coffee, the women will barge on in there, stand practically on top of you and start reaching all around you to get sugar, milk etc whilst leaving their keys, purses, scarves etc lying in your way. I also find the same thing at bank link machines, women tend to stand very close to you whilst men keep a distance, in my opinion they are much more aware of personal spaces.

I don't know maybe it's just because I am a bit claustrophobic but I just HATE when people crowd me. :mad:
 
Ha!

I'm making a few assumptions here ney - you are you from 'the country' but work in the city?

Country people apparently have a greater need for personal space than city people do so will feel encroachment more. Men are a lot less tactile than women generally so will avoid being up close and personal a bit more.

In general the Irish don't need much personal space though IME, compared with other countries.
 
Nope from the big shmoke but living and working in the country! nice try though.

This isn't just people standing a little bit too close, just this morning a woman stood behind me whilst I was making my coffee, she had her arms crossed and was so close to me that they were touching my back - honestly she was that close! ( I would almost understand if there was a large queue behind her causing her to get pushed forward but no - just her nobody else! ) I actually just got my coffee from the machine and moved quickly to the side, she swoops in then continues to get her sugar etc no excuse me, etc. Now, this is just one example, but I have noticed it now for months and months. Women are very poor at appreciating personal space! - although admittedly this mornings episode was closer than most!

I will say this... I am a bad candidate for 'close encounters' and a little more sensitive than most to this as I really am quite claustrophobic!
 
I hate that kind of thing myself, but to be honest, don't notice much difference between men and women re personal space. What I can't stand is if I'm in a queue and someone is standing too close behind me, so I edge forward a bit and then they edge forward so they're still on top of me and keep doing it. Also, if I'm sitting on a bus and someone stands with their This post will be deleted if not edited to remove bad language up against my face. Aaaagh.
 
I actually did have to ask a woman to step back one time, I was standing in the queue for KFC and her giant boobs were touching my back - honest to god and every time I moved forward she moved with me. I moved to the side but she just moved on up and stood right beside me in queue as if taking my place so I got back into the queue and asked if she could just not stand so close. Jaysus I won't be doing that in a hurry again! spent the next ten minutes listening to her at the top of her voice " who the bleedin **** does she tink she is etc etc" - so now I just start sweating and panicking until I can get outta there!
 
It's my pet hate!:mad:

A good tip is if you're in a queue and you can feel someones breath on the back of your neck, turn so that you're side on with them, more often than not this will make them step back.

If that fails then just ask them "Are we dating? No? Then BACK OFF!"
 
I hate it - it always happens me in the bank, and its nearly always women.

From years of working in a supermarket and observing queues I have discovered the trick of getting them to back up.

They stand in so close that theyre almost touching you - move back a fraction so they ARE touching you. If they dont back up, start leaning a little on them. Theyll move.

Alternatively start acting like you have Tourettes, both verbal and physical tics - if that doesnt make them move, nothing will.
 
By the way, Ney, if someone stands too close behind me at an ATM I have no problem staring at them until they move back a bit. Leaving aside personal space issues, that is just a no no from a security point of view and people should know better.
 
Caveat said:
In general the Irish don't need much personal space though IME, compared with other countries.
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Try going to the fish counter in a French supermarket on Christmas eve, or on the eve of any public holiday, and then you will never, never complain about the irish concept of personal space again.
 
i don't think it's a female thing - I personally absolutely hate it when somebody is invading my personal space and can't stand strangers touching me or standing close to me ...
i have a colleague who is a total space invader /and i don't mean it in the "final frontier" conquistador way/ ... he'd be standing really close to you and just stare at you - he is actually a rather nice guy but this habit gives me the creeps and i feel acutely uncomfortable when I have to talk to him
 
Vanilla said:
Try going to the fish counter in a French supermarket on Christmas eve, or on the eve of any public holiday, and then you will never, never complain about the irish concept of personal space again.
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Try China. In a queue, if you leave a standard (Irish) amount of space between you and the person in front, someone else will nip in between you! The only way to prevent that is to move right up against your neighbour. As a nation, they appear to have no concept of personal space at all.
 
Makes sense - Indians are the same. They are not used to having much space.

Germans and especially Scandinavians need a fair bit apparently. French/Spanish/Italians much less so.

I've had a few unusual American experiences - they need a load of space.

I've had people jump as if I were trying to assault or grope them simply because I got too close for their liking. I've seen bars in the states described as ' totally packed' because there were simply a handful of people standing. It can be quite funny sometimes - I felt unintentionally intimidating going to the bar or bathroom as people literally parted before me and made way for me!
 
ney001 said:
I don't know maybe it's just because I am a bit claustrophobic but I just HATE when people crowd me. :mad:
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+1. I havent noticed it as being a particularly female trait, but it drives me mad.
 
ney001 said:
... but I just HATE when people crowd me. :mad:
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That's what God invented elbows for! I believe I'm pretty good at respecting others' personal space, but I'm also adept at protecting my own. I don't get physical with "lady" invaders, but use my Barry White voice (like Joey "The Lips" in the Commitments!) to express pleasure at them clambering all over me. It usually works.
 
I had a boss who used to put his hand on the back of my chair & the other on my desk. He was (& probably still is!) 6'4 so he was literally looming over me. i copped on & when I'd see him coming I'd wait until he was quite close & leap up from my chair, this sometimes meant I'd hit him in the chest. I'd say sorry then keep inching closer to him so that he'd literally back away. I could walk him back to his own desk 60 feet away doing this.

Colleagues thought it very funny.

I don't like invasion of personal space either so if somebody gets too close in a queue I'm a fan of turing sideways. If that doesn't work I'll turn around & face the "invader" or in a supermarket take something out of my basket & ask something like " I love baked beans, do you think these are tasty baked beans" or "what do you think of my coat, do you think red is really my colour, well do you" Works a dream.
 
I wouldn't have thought women are the main offenders - men definitely do it too. My tip if you're in a queue is to move yourself and your bag around and sort of jostle them with the bag if possible. I also don't move forward much and leave a nice space in front of me because I think that drives them mad, and makes it look more obvious that they are too close.
I agree that it is most annoying - I hate it when I can feel someone's breath on my neck or when someone is sniffling and hacking away right next to me...yuurggghh!
 
A healthy portion of cabbage with your lunch helps more than anything else.

The no go zone after is handy for any personal space issues and also gives you plenty of room on the bus, luas or whatever. It's surprising how quickly even the most packed bus can clear once the alarm is raised.
 
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