New single parent, where to go/what to do??

[new1]

My partner and I split up yesterday (really we have been broken up since just before christmas but we have been living in the same house and going through the motions). It came to a head yesterday and I decided to leave and go to my parent's house.

We own an affordable house together and we have two children together (8 mths and 23 mths old). I have not returned to work after the birth of my second child as I have post natal depression and a physical illness both of which I am on medication for and my physical illness is under ongoing investigation (i.e. have had tests done and am on wating list for more tests and the consultant changes around my meds every so often to see if condition improves).

I had applied for a medical card and for disability allowance (was refused disability benefit because I didn't have enough PRSI) back in January and have rang the sections several times, I was told that there is a backlog and that they hadn't even gotten to my application yet so to go to the C.W.O. I did this and applied for supplementary welfare allowance but was refused because my partner (who is self employed) was earning above their treshold. I appealed the decision and didn't hear anything back as there is a backlog!

My ex, in fairness to him works all the hours he can (another one of our arguments) and what money he earns is going on paying the mortgage, bills never mind nappies, formula, etc for two children. In fact some bills haven't been paid and any of the bills in my name are not being paid as I have zero income (300 E per month child benefit)my own loans, car insurance, etc isn't getting paid.

I am in a bad place and mentally can not deal with it. I have taken some if the kid's and my stuff to my parent's house and I can stay there for a while but my parent's are both in their 70's and have their own health problems so staying there long term isn't an option. Last time we stayed there for a week just before christmas my dad ended up with chest pains and was taken into hospital for a few days.

I feel like such a failure and also feel guilty for leaving my ex with the mortgage but what can I do. Our relationship is over and I know there is no going back. I feel so depleted that I couldn't care what happens to the house it can rot.

Where do I go or what do I do, firstly in relation to the house
Do I go to the lender we got the mortgage from? The council and tell them we have broken up and he hasn't paid the last months mortgage.

Which C.W.O. do I go to? The one I went to before in the area I was living in or where my parent's live as that is where I am staying now and would like to be near them.

I have ZERO money so how could I rent somewhere?


Appologies for long post and if some if info is irrelevent. I am embarresed that things have worked out like this and I don't know what to do.

Any advice welcomed, Thanks.

 

[gipimann]

Sorry to hear about the situation.

Regarding immediate assistance for yourself and the children, you can call to see the CWO where you now live and make an application for SWA.

 

[doubledeb]

Sorry to hear about your situation, it all seems so tough now but you will get through it. When you are ill its very hard to think straight. After you have gone to the CWO you should apply for single parents allowance. First get a roof over your head for you and your kids. I know living in your parents house with 2 kids isn't ideal but hopefully you will have their support. Then go to your GP and get the depression sorted, things will seem a lot clearer when you are in a better place mentally, the way you feel will only be temporary with the help of your GP you will overcome this. Don't think you are a failure, you have 2 kids who certainly don't think that. Take one step at a time try not bog yourself down with worrying about your ex partner.
Try stay positive.

 

[Potatoeman]

I'd say these circumstances are going to be more common in the future with couples that split up with medium/large mortgages will have difficulty meeting the financial demands of two households. You should be aware with the current work to rule actions happening at the moment you may not get the information/help you need in the timeframe you desire. As hard as it may seem don't let this get on top of you as you are not the only person faced with this kind of issue.

 

[lady]

First apply for the One Parent Family payment as this can take awhile to come through then go to your local c.w.o and ask him to pay you until the social welfare comes through.

I don't think you qualify for rent allowance as the rules have changed but you say "We own an affordable house together " I assume this means your name is on the deeds. If so would it be possible for your ex to move out so you and your 2 children can move back in, then you might qualify for mortgage supplement.

Also does your ex pay maintenance?? He has a responsibiliy to help towards the upbringing of his children..

 

[lady]

... go to the C.W.O. I did this and applied for supplementary welfare allowance but was refused because my partner (who is self employed) was earning above their treshold. I appealed the decision and didn't hear anything back as there is a backlog!

Did you explain to the c.w.o that you no longer live with your ex. His income should have nothing to do with you anymore. Do you have proof you do not live together anymore?? Maybe a bill in your name sent to your mothers address ??