My ex wont buy me out, wants me to sign over my half or agree to quick sale at low price.

K

Kaz

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To try to condense a long story. Was divorced in 2008 left the family home in 2009. My 14 yr old son wished to stay in family home with father. Father re married 2 years ago and wants to re-negotiate a new mortgage with new partner. There is only 10,000k equity and I have asked for 5k to buy me out. They want me to sign over property or agree to a quick sale and take the lowest valuation on the property. Which would result in a shortfall. I understand they want to move on but feel I am being pressurized to make a quick decision. Their solicitor has said if I don't sign over or agree to sale at low valuation pricesoon they will take it to court and ask that I am liable for court costs, as this is a simple matter that could have been decided between us.

All this has happened over the last two half months and feel I'm being pushed without my rights being given any consideration. I believe they have been struggling with mortgage re payments and want to renegotiate it or sell. But wish they had approached me a year or so ago rather then leaving it till things were so difficult for them. As my son who is now 19 still lived at home it was not something I would have done anything about until he had left home. So the approach would have had to come from them. Can they force me to take the lower offer as they have said or make me pay costs for taking time to decide what to do?

So far they have ignored my request to buy me out at what I feel is a small amount. Potentially as the market recovers so will the equity increase and in time they will make more money on the house. My fear is if I sign it over there is nothing stopping them from selling anyway and at a more favourable time and for a higher price, allowing them to keep all of the equity. I feel them asking me to accept the lower valuation could be a ploy to get me to sign it over or drop any claim believing there is no money in it or I will be liable for the shortfall. I feel they are implying that I am being difficult and obstructive. I am truly not. It is just that my share in the family home is my only asset. I put a lot of my own money into it initially. Now I am unemployed and have no savings. This small share of equity would make the world of difference to my life. Any advice would be gratefully received... Kaz
 
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Hello Sue Ellen,

Thank you so much for your reply. Yes that is exactly it, I do feel intimidated by them. I do not feel they have entered into a proper dialogue with me, they have simply kept on pushing and threatening me with incurring responsibility for legal costs because I am delaying things and not doing what they want. it is as if my entitlement or rights do not exist. I have never taken anything from the family home in terms of contents, and even though over the years my own financial circumstances have been poor, never pushed for a sale, because my son was living there. I did not want to unsettle him or cause him any more disruption then he had gone through already with his parents seperating and divorcing. And now because I think he hears bits of what is happening with the house and my name being discussed in probably not flattering terms, he is stressed over it and relationships between us is strained.

Up until recently I have not discussed this with my son. But yesterday decided to ask him what he thought, as if the house is sold it will effect him. I've asked him what he thinks about it all and he just says he is sick of the whole thing and wants nothing to do with it. Which implies, while I've stayed away from the subject with him, they have not. I'm very tempted to just give in and walk away in the hope that it will make things easier from his point of view. But to be honest, I am worried about my own future. I'm 54 and don't work and have no savings. I feel very vulnerable. I have recently sent them a letter, again asking if they will buy me out for 5k, they ignored me last time I asked. If this time they do the same thing or say no outright. I will make an appt with my local CAB. I've stayed away from the solicitors because I just can't afford it. Thank you Sue Ellen for taking the time to respond to my post.
 
We had joint ownership. My name is on the deeds and mortgage. No, at the time of the divorce nothing was discussed re the house. At the time I was living there with my son, and later my ex lived there with my son.
 
Kaz said:
There is only 10,000k equity and I have asked for 5k to buy me out. They want me to sign over property or agree to a quick sale and take the lowest valuation on the property.
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Kaz said:
Can they force me to take the lower offer as they have said or make me pay costs for taking time to decide what to do?
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I'm just wondering about the 10k equity you believe there is in the property. What is this based on? Has there been more than one recent valuation of the property? You also mention the lower offer, has the house been on the market for long, has there been many offers and have higher offers been turned down by your ex?

Kaz said:
Potentially as the market recovers so will the equity increase and in time they will make more money on the house.
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Kaz said:
I feel them asking me to accept the lower valuation could be a ploy to get me to sign it over or drop any claim believing there is no money in it or I will be liable for the shortfall.
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There is no guarantee the value of the house will increase in the near future, if the house is sold your ex will not benefit from an increase. If you believe they are trying to trick you into signing the house over to them you could always call their bluff, agree to the sale and see what happens. I don't see what your ex will have to gain in accepting a low offer for the house if there is a realistic chance of selling it for higher in the current market.

You also mention that they have been having trouble recently with mortgage payments. I'm assuming that you have not been contributing to mortgage payments for a considerable time? If they were to stop making payments what would happen? Presumably any possible equity would disappear quickly and you would be jointly responsible for the outstanding mortgage.

I'm sorry to hear of your predicament and you certainly should get some legal advice before you agree to anything with your ex. It is very surprising that nothing was discussed about the house at the time of divorce. From the information given it sounds reasonable to sell the house soon and part ways in terms of your shared property and mortgage. It's seven years since your divorce and the house has not been your home for six. It is also reasonable to expect the house to be sold for the maximum possible offer and think this is what you should focus on with your ex, this is in both your interests.
 
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The house is not on the market yet. There has been one valuation arranged by them, giving the top valuation of 105k lower 95k. There is only 10k equity if the house is sold for 105k. I do not believe that this is a true value anyway. We paid 114k for the house in 2004. I know the market has been depressed, but for a 3 bedroom semi detached with a good size garden, near the sea in wales, to me it seems low. I could call their bluff and if they turn down my request I will have to. I agree, I think it is in both our interests for it to go for the maximum amount, I cannot understand why they would sell knowing it will leave a mortgage shortfall. it makes no sense at all. The only reason why it has been so long resolving this is because it has been my son's home. He wanted to stay there and I didn't want to uproot him again. The house made him feel secure at a time in his life when everything was changing. He is now 19. I just want you to know why it's been 7 years and this matter has not been settled before now.
 
If by the Midlands,you mean the UK Midlands,you should know that this is an Irish site.
 
Yes I mean the UK Midlands. I didn't realize it was an Irish site. But that doesn't matter to me. Good advice knows no nationality does it. And to be honest it is just a relief to be able to talk about it. :)
 
Kaz said:
Yes I mean the UK Midlands. I didn't realize it was an Irish site. But that doesn't matter to me. Good advice knows no nationality does it. And to be honest it is just a relief to be able to talk about it. :)
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Indeed it does not matter that it is an Irish site.

I see no pressure as you don't have to do anything and let them take you to court, but isn't that a really silly thing to do. Wouldn't you be better off with this legal tie to your ex continuing.

It seems there is either zero equity or 10K equity. Presumably your ex has been paying the mortgage for the last 6 or 7 years. So he has paid more than you. And he would be entitled to more equity. And did you both contribute equally to the mortgage prior to that.

You should not bring your son into this, it's quite clear from what you post that he's sick of it. It does not matter to him if the house is sold or not, he will have a roof with your or his father no matter what, isn't that true. And you cannot try and control him having the stability of that house when he is now 19. Has your ex not looked after the boy well for the last few years, why would selling the house or transferring it change that.

One thing that I don't understand is you mentioning a mortgage shortfall. How so? What is the mortgage amount? And what do you care their motives for selling.
 
People have asked why after 7 years this matter hasn't been resolved. My answer was because my son was still living at home. My ex never mentioned seperating assets and I would not have forced him to sell, because my son was at home. I mention motives being questionable, because they keep changing their minds about what they want to do. One minute they want me to sign it over, the next the want to sell it. There is no other reason than that. My original question was can I be forced to sign my half over or agree to a sale at the lowest valuation. I've been very honest and open about the cirumstances. I did contribute towards the mortgage when we were together. I worked part time and looked after my own three children plus two step children so I could not work full time. Prior to buying this house, I used up my inheritance from my mum to pay off debts to get a mortgage in the first place. That is why, now I am on my own I have no savings. I just want things to be done fairly.
 
You are raking up old history here. In Ireland staying at home to mind children does not count as mortgage payments when you go into court for equity in a house. No idea of the situation in Wales but it looks like your husband has made most of the payments. But at the end of the day there is really is nothing worth talking about in relation to money. If the house sells for the maximum valuation the most you'd get is 5K and you'd have to subtract auctioneer and solicitor costs from that. And that's if it sells at max.

No idea why you want to bring up the motives of the other party, who cares.

Here they can go into court and force a sale so I imagine it's the same there. But that's crazy to go to court as all one is doing is running up costs. Do you care about them chaning their minds, as long as you get off the title and end this situation the better. It's 7 years plus in particular the last 2 and a half months you've had to think about this.
 
As it happens I am on the mortgage, but as a spouse I would still have been entitled to a share of the property. We were married for 14 years. If contributing to the mortgage was the criteria to the share of marital property, many women would be homeless and penniless when leaving a marriage. So I don't see your point re staying home and minding children.

It may seem a small amount 5k, but to me it would make the world of difference. At the end of the day if they refuse, I will probably just sign it over. Even though you say my son will have a home whatever happens, I still care enough about him not to want to disrupt his life. I don't want them to have to sell it because I'm pushing for half of equity after sale. I just feel that if I did not ask them to buy me out; which people do all the time, I would regret it. I'm definitely not mercernary. If I were, I would have insisted on house being sold when we divorced and demanded half the contents.
 
It seems all parties here are broke. You mention that your ex is struggling with the mortgage so where on earth do you think he can get 5 k from? He's minding your boy, putting a roof over his head and presumably feeding him. I assume you paid no maintenance. Don't you think the best thing, the right thing, is to let this go?

Think of the positives, yes you are decorate for money,
 
I think it's unlikely your lender will be too keen to allow your name to be removed from the mortgage, more so if you are receiving 5k as part of the deal. Maybe you need to check this with them. I think they would be happier to see the house sold.
 
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