messy separation

Hi All. Split up with ex about 3 years ago. house in both our names with equal mortgage payments. Housing market means house cant sell. My first question is if i make an offer of a certain amount and am prepared to accept same amount, what happens if ex refuses. Also, i am staying in house and she wants to move someone in, what are her and my rights on this. I do not want anyone else living in the house.

I am not sure if I follow the question but do you wish to buy her share of the house from her. Also you say you split 3 years ago. Has she been paying 50% of the mortgage and living elsewhere for the past 3 years.

we have both lived in the house on and off for the three years. we have both contributed 50% of the mortgage. I want the saga to end. I have had teh house valued by 5 estate agents and the average valuation works out at 410,000. The mortgage is 200,000. This leaves 200,000 in equity. I want to offer 100,000 to buy the house or accept 100,000 to sell to her. She refuses both these options and wants 130,000 based on what the house used to be worth. My solicitor reckons she cant really refuse an offer i am prepared to accept. she also wants to move people in to rent what she calls "her" room. I think she cannot do this without my permission. relaly stressful situation.

First, it might help if you tried to separate your emotions from the facts (not easy, I accept).

One fact is that she has a half-interest in the house, and you seem to have sole occupancy. I am sure that you recognise that she is likely to feel disadvantaged by that. Your offer to her reflects such a recognition.

I also think your strategy is fair-minded. But I don't think you are entitled to force it on her. She might not see it as an even-handed proposition if she is not in a position to buy you out, and she might genuinely see your price as undervaluing the house.

Is her proposal to move somebody in genuine, or is it a negotiating ploy? Is it really intolerable if she goes ahead? Can you do it co-operatively, by your having a voice in who gets in? Can you take in a tenant who would pay the rent to her? Can you pay her the rent and keep "her" room empty?

[Was there a typo in your figures? I calculate the equity at €105k.]

Thanks for the reply.

During this mess, I moved out for 7 months and left the house to her. I had to pay rent and mortgage in this time. I also have no poblem with people moving in as long as they sign some sort of lease or take some ownership of a bill or two. Wanty some protection. after gettiing house valued, i have just written to my solicitior offering 55% of the equity. i just wnat to know how messy it will get if she refuses. Legal advice in ireland suggests that i can do no more and what i offer is really all that can be offered.

Padraigb has given you some good advise there. It might be an idea to check with your solicitor if your ex can claim for a larger amount of equity down the line if she continues to pay 50% of the mortgage while living elsewhere. She is co-operating fully with you in payment of the mortgage so it would be to your advantage in the future to be seen to be fully co-operating also. Ideally it would be best if you rent the room to someone you are happy to live with.

You need to get this sorted. Owning a house with an ex is just going to be continuous trouble. You need to go to court to force the sale if she doesn't accept your offer. The sooner you start this route the sooner the nightmare will end.